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  • You met him at orchestra practice and he said he was an avid pianist, you misheard him and you both had a good laugh.

  • After that he asked you on a date and that one date led to two and before you realized it, you've been dating this guy for a year and lately, the magic's gone.

  • Maybe you've just started to notice how loudly he eats soup.

  • So you've decided.

  • It is time to break up.

  • But how in the world are you gonna have that conversation?

  • Hey everyone welcome to Wellcast.

  • This week we're talking about that awful discussion that comes at the eleventh hour of a relationship.

  • We're gonna give you our seven-step plan for making a clean break between you and your partner.

  • Download this worksheet on your password-protected mobile device and keep it handy for reference on the big day.

  • You ready?

  • Step one: first things first before anything else, you need to make sure that you want to go through with this breakup.

  • If you're not happy in the relationship, that is a huge red flag.

  • Ask yourself the following questions: do you communicate well?

  • Does your partner accept you as you are?

  • Are you open with your partner or do you find yourself keeping secrets from him?

  • Do you look forward to seeing him or do you find yourself making excuses to avoid him?

  • Step two: figure out exactly what you're going to say to your boyfriend.

  • Odds are the first question he's gonna ask is: "Why are you doing this?"

  • So on your worksheet, write down your reasonor reasons.

  • Don't go overboard.

  • It can be as simple as: I no longer have feelings for you or I don't think I can trust you anymore.

  • Step three: once you've committed to actually breaking up and have figured out exactly what you wanna say, plan out a maximum three hour time period for the daunting task.

  • These three hours we'll give him enough time to process but keep the conversation from spiralling into a loop rehashing the same points over and over again.

  • Step four: make plans for directly after the conversation.

  • Maybe ask a friend to catch a movie or schedule a haircut.

  • Giving yourself a concrete out will help you leave any difficult situations and having something to do afterward will give you time to process the breakup but keep you from dwelling on.

  • Step five : alright, the time has come.

  • You've blocked out three hours, scheduled band practice for afterward written down what you're gonna to say, so say it.

  • Remember this conversation is gonna be painful for him and you.

  • Nothing you say is gonna change that fact.

  • Be honest but sympathetic, don't go overboard and don't get angry, just say enough so that you can explain your reasons for breaking up.

  • Step six : when it's over, its over.

  • Don't lead your partner on.

  • Tell your now ex-boyfriend that you won't be contacting him and ask him to respect this wish.

  • Listen, you won't be doing him any favors by drawing the breakup out or leaving a door open for a relationship further down the line.

  • You're breaking up for a reason, remember?

  • So be sure that there are no emotional loose ends.

  • Step seven: the stuff exchange.

  • This should be a very brief meeting where you can both exchange belongings, but that's it.

  • No talks of getting back together and no cementing the breakup.

  • This meeting should take place in public so you're not tempted to have another long conversation, and if you're worried take a friend.

  • You've just gone through one of the harder conversations you'll have to have for a long time, you'll probably feel low for a little while and that's okay.

  • Look, just because a relationship is over, doesn't mean it was meaningless.

  • In fact, the reason you're feeling so crummy is because that relationship was an important part of you growing up.

  • Still feeling a little down after your breakup?

  • Well, check out our breakup playlist here, specifically curated by the Wellcast team.

  • To recap: you have decided to break up with your boyfriendfirst make sure you actually wanna do this.

  • Next, commit a time period up to three hours, no longer.

  • And work out what you're gonna say before you get into the situation.

  • When you're there, be honest, but be sympathetic with your now ex-boyfriend, make it clear that your decision is final and ask him not to contact you for a little bit.

  • If you both have stuff to exchange make plans to briefly meet in a couple days in a public place, so you can do that.

  • Tweet us at watchwellcast, email as or leave a comment down below

  • We'll see you next time!

You met him at orchestra practice and he said he was an avid pianist, you misheard him and you both had a good laugh.

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How to Break Up

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    Sunny Hsu posted on 2020/05/22
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