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You met him at orchestra practice and he said he was an avid pianist, you misheard him and you both had a good laugh.
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After that he asked you on a date and that one date led to two and before you realized it, you've been dating this guy for a year and lately, the magic's gone.
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Maybe you've just started to notice how loudly he eats soup.
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So you've decided.
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It is time to break up.
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But how in the world are you gonna have that conversation?
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Hey everyone welcome to Wellcast.
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This week we're talking about that awful discussion that comes at the eleventh hour of a relationship.
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We're gonna give you our seven-step plan for making a clean break between you and your partner.
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Download this worksheet on your password-protected mobile device and keep it handy for reference on the big day.
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You ready?
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Step one: first things first before anything else, you need to make sure that you want to go through with this breakup.
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If you're not happy in the relationship, that is a huge red flag.
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Ask yourself the following questions: do you communicate well?
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Does your partner accept you as you are?
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Are you open with your partner or do you find yourself keeping secrets from him?
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Do you look forward to seeing him or do you find yourself making excuses to avoid him?
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Step two: figure out exactly what you're going to say to your boyfriend.
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Odds are the first question he's gonna ask is: "Why are you doing this?"
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So on your worksheet, write down your reason—or reasons.
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Don't go overboard.
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It can be as simple as: I no longer have feelings for you or I don't think I can trust you anymore.
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Step three: once you've committed to actually breaking up and have figured out exactly what you wanna say, plan out a maximum three hour time period for the daunting task.
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These three hours we'll give him enough time to process but keep the conversation from spiralling into a loop rehashing the same points over and over again.
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Step four: make plans for directly after the conversation.
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Maybe ask a friend to catch a movie or schedule a haircut.
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Giving yourself a concrete out will help you leave any difficult situations and having something to do afterward will give you time to process the breakup but keep you from dwelling on.
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Step five : alright, the time has come.
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You've blocked out three hours, scheduled band practice for afterward written down what you're gonna to say, so say it.
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Remember this conversation is gonna be painful for him and you.
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Nothing you say is gonna change that fact.
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Be honest but sympathetic, don't go overboard and don't get angry, just say enough so that you can explain your reasons for breaking up.
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Step six : when it's over, its over.
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Don't lead your partner on.
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Tell your now ex-boyfriend that you won't be contacting him and ask him to respect this wish.
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Listen, you won't be doing him any favors by drawing the breakup out or leaving a door open for a relationship further down the line.
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You're breaking up for a reason, remember?
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So be sure that there are no emotional loose ends.
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Step seven: the stuff exchange.
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This should be a very brief meeting where you can both exchange belongings, but that's it.
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No talks of getting back together and no cementing the breakup.
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This meeting should take place in public so you're not tempted to have another long conversation, and if you're worried take a friend.
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You've just gone through one of the harder conversations you'll have to have for a long time, you'll probably feel low for a little while and that's okay.
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Look, just because a relationship is over, doesn't mean it was meaningless.
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In fact, the reason you're feeling so crummy is because that relationship was an important part of you growing up.
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Still feeling a little down after your breakup?
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Well, check out our breakup playlist here, specifically curated by the Wellcast team.
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To recap: you have decided to break up with your boyfriend—first make sure you actually wanna do this.
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Next, commit a time period up to three hours, no longer.
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And work out what you're gonna say before you get into the situation.
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When you're there, be honest, but be sympathetic with your now ex-boyfriend, make it clear that your decision is final and ask him not to contact you for a little bit.
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If you both have stuff to exchange make plans to briefly meet in a couple days in a public place, so you can do that.
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Tweet us at watchwellcast, email as [email protected] or leave a comment down below
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We'll see you next time!
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