Name: RESPECT – How to give it, how to get it
Uploaded: 2025-07-17T08:51:30.000Z
Duration: 21 min 47 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Present continuous

When you are speaking English, I know for some of you, or maybe a lot of you, and even if you're a native English speaker, we have anxiety when speaking because we don't think we'll be taken seriously.

Now, if you're learning the English language, that might be because you're embarrassed because you don't think your English is good enough, or maybe you think you have too strong an accent, yes?

To-infinitive

So this lesson is going to teach you how to get respect from someone else.

So even if you're making these mistakes, or what you consider mistakes, I don't think they're mistakes, you will feel comfortable because there will be a level of respect so you continue the communication.

And today's lesson, I'm going to teach you six ways to start off in a conversation that will get you respect, so even if you don't feel confident about your accent, or you don't feel confident about your language level, the respect between people will be enough that you can continue the conversation.

So first one I want to look at with you is remember.

Now, you'll see it says, remember 3x, and this is my poor attempt, or bad attempt, or try at creating a brain, so hopefully that looks like a brain, and doesn't look like Africa smashed together.

So, remember, why do I say remember and I say it three times?

Well, I want you to remember something very specific, and it's the thing that makes almost every human being happy unless their mother is calling them by their first name this way.

Mine is James, I don't know what yours is, but when I meet someone, I really like it, I think we all do when someone remembers our name, it makes us feel special, or at least in their line of thought, right?

So they actually think about you, and it's the first step to getting respect from someone, they have to have you in mind.

Now, I have remember in three times because you need to remember their name, and I'm going to teach you a quick trick to do that, and the three times is what I want you to do with it.

Now, when someone tells you their name, the first thing you want to do as soon as they say it, I want you to look at them, maybe you look at me right now, and imagine on my forehead is James, and you write it, not with your finger, don't in real life go James, but imagine writing their name on their forehead, and look at their face and their name.

The reason why we do this is because, well, everybody says, I remember names, but I always remember faces, so put the name on the face.

Now, you look at the face, this name will be written there, it might be odd when you're staring, reading their name on their head, but it will help you remember, okay?

The only reason we use a trick is to force you to focus so you don't forget the name, and this is where we come in with the three times.

Say the name at the beginning, oh, James, pleasure to meet you, James, right?

Oh, your name's James, pleasure to meet you.

Then in the middle of the conversation, at least repeat the name, wow, that was a, James, that was a really good point you just made, and when you end the conversation, that way you're showing them that you paid attention to something that's very important to them, and that will start creating, or in other words, garnering, that means bringing respect to you, regardless of the level of your communication, because everybody likes being listened to, and you just demonstrated you did that.

So number two, shake, I'm not saying shake, shake, shake, do-do-do-do, shake, shake, shake, sorry, disco shirt, I thought I would boogie.

Well, the handshake, we've talked about their name, and these will probably happen about the same time, let's be honest.

You don't, so you're not going to remember a name until someone says it to you, and that's generally going to be near the handshake.

What's important about the handshake to remember is this, it's a little trick for respect.

Funny enough, if your hand is on top like this, and you're like that, that's what we call dominant, you're like, I'm the strong one, I'm the important one.

I'm not going to teach you to do something, I'm going to teach you to flip it this way.

This way is what we call submissive, like, you're the strong one, I'm not the strong one, but the importance is to make someone else feel comfortable.

An important point I should start off with, I want you to go in firm, firm means you meet what they do, if they're being strong, you're stronger, if they're weak, don't be too weak, but don't be overpowering like trying to crush their hand.

We've all met that one person who's like, hi, I'm the man, and you're like, okay, okay, uncle, why do you have to do that?

But you want to have a good handshake, the trick I want to teach you on the shake for the respect is, make someone feel comfortable, let your hand come slightly underneath, and they will feel much more comfortable, and they can relax.

So you want people to feel relaxed around you.

You can demonstrate authority and strength, but if you are overpowering them, making them feel insecure, it's hard to get that respect, what you go into is fear, we want respect, and this is acknowledging that this is an interesting person, and you're open to them, you're not trying to dominate them, cool?

So we're going to get them to relax by shaking, coming in, same amount of pressure, but we're going to come in slightly underneath so they can feel, hey, I feel good, I like this guy, creating a positive vibe or feeling at the beginning.

So, when we're talking about shaking hands, we make contact and we offered them some security by going underneath and letting them feel more confident.

That's a great start, but I want to blow it out of the water, and I want you to make them excited to continue.

So while you're doing that handshake, we're going to look at their eyes.

Now, I already talked to you and said you may be feeling insecure, even though you're a very confident individual, you know, you feel good most of the time, using your English, especially in new situations, might make you feel a bit nervous.

And that's something that's very hard to do, whether we're speaking our native languages or other languages.

But here's my trick that's going to make them excited to talk to you as you offer them your hand, okay?

Look into their eyes, and I want you to try and figure out what color they are.

So don't just look at their eyes, look into them.

That kind of interest or curiosity is going to reflect in your eyes as you're looking at them.

They're going to see a genuine interest as you're offering your hand and shaking firmly and saying their name.

Because you're basically setting up a situation where you're getting this respect by being actually interested in the individual you're talking to, demonstrating respect by saying their name and saying, hey, you may know more than me.

I'm going to give you the respect I think you deserve right away before anything happens.

So we've started off looking in their eyes, and we are going to do what?

What's the next thing you do when you meet someone shaking their hands?

I want you to ask more questions than statements that you make.

Well, I said you start off by asking questions.

That's demonstrating interest in the first place.

If you want to continue that interest, it's best to ask more questions than making statements because if you're asking questions, you're learning about the person whom you're speaking to, but you're also getting information you can use to keep the conversation going.

But the most important part about all of this is you're interested enough that the other person notices and continues the conversation with you.

We think that by telling people how much we know, we get respect.

Like, I'm this, I do that, I do this, I do that.

If you want to get someone's respect, ask them some questions.

And if you're actually listening, you're going to ask interesting questions that most people never ask them.

You could ask them, hey, what is that one thing you've never told anyone, but it's a secret obsession of yours?

If you just tell them, well, I'm an internationally known English teacher and I do videos on YouTube and I do this and I do that and I do this, you're losing respect.

Because you've, what we call, shot your load.

You've told them everything about you and there's nothing to discover, yet they haven't said anything.

Most people's favorite person in the whole wide world is themselves.

And if you show interest in that person by asking questions, trust me, they're going to want to know who it is that's asking these questions after they explained a lot of their, if not secrets, just things that they enjoy doing and whatnot.

And this is where you get to relax because as you're asking those questions, you don't have to speak as much.

So you can relax and you can take in that information.

You can use it later on and create a bond, which is where respect is actually born.

So let's go on to point number five, shall we?

So you've asked your questions to get to know who this person is you're speaking to, or group of people for that matter.

Well, there are two things I want to say.