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I want this!
For some people, it's the easiest thing in the world to say.
Life's pretty nice for these kinds of assertive people.
They usually end up with the window seat on airplanes, the last slice of pizza and a cubicle that's not by the bathroom.
I hope he flushed.
But not everybody is naturally assertive even if they're allowed.
If you're like a lot of members on the WellCast Team, you might not be as comfortable talking about yourself.
Saying what you want or what you think when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult.
Okay well, today we've got four quick tips on how to be more assertive in every aspect of your life.
At school, at work or at a nerve-racking situation, like having to tell your parents that you ding the car (I'am so sorry).
You're ready? Tip one: hold on to your N.U.T.s!
Yap. This is an acronym borrowed from the author Wayne Levine.
It stands for non-negotiable, unalterable terms, basically, your boundaries.
When you find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself what are the most important things to me in this situation.
What do I absolutely refuse to compromise.
Your N.U.Ts should include something broad like my health, or something specific, like my "A" average in biology.
Either way, once you know what your priorities are, it'll be easier to fight for 'em.
Tip 2 : Be simple, honest and direct.
Don't be passive or aggressive or coiled, it's annoying.
If a waiter brings you a kale salad and you ordered a cheeseburger.
Don't wait until the end of the meal to undertip, you have to send it back.
If you're honest and direct, rather than waffly and underhanded, things are more likely to work out in your favor.
At the very least, you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known.
Tip 3 : Fake it till you make it.
Hey here's a secret. If you act assertive, you'd start feeling assertive.
So, how do you know to do that?
Well, use your body language and your voice to make your presence known.
Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume.
Please do not touch anything on my desk.
It smells in there, are you flushing? I know you didn't wash your hands.
Be an eagle, not a turtle.
I know, just let me tease this metaphor out a little bit, it's a little weird.
Do:Be an eagle. Don't:Be a turtle.
Don't thrust your shoulders forward to slump.
You look like you're apologizing for yourself.
Do strengthen your back, stick your chest out, breath evenly and deeply.
Don't dart your eyes about, it's gonna look like you've got something to hide.
Pro tip, if you're nervous about maintaining eye contact, look at someone's nose or forehead, you'll see more engaged and in control.
We've tried this, it actually works.
Do speak up. Seriously, I can even hear you right now.
Tip 4 : Use "I" statements, instead of "you" statements.
This way you can express what you want without being accusatory.
To wit, what follows is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes.
You'd never do the dishes, there is a pile of them in the sink right now and it's old enough to be carbon dated.
Here's the right way, I feel like I've been doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately.
I'm pretty tired when I get home from work, could you help me out?
See? You expressed your frustration without sounding like a nag.
The assertive is goldmine.
Alright. You've completed your primer for being assertive.
Remember: figure out your priorities, be straightforward and honest, maintain good posture, eye contact and volume, and use "I" statements.
Go forth Well Casters, you're ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger.
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How to Be More Confident

53320 Folder Collection
Sunny Hsu published on August 17, 2015    brieven translated    謝明廷 reviewed
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