Name: Why Asian People Have Western English Names? | Oliver Chan | Stand Up Comedy
Uploaded: 2025-03-03T11:39:02.000Z
Duration: 5 min 11 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

I picked that name myself because growing up I loved cultural appropriation.

When you are a kid, you can be whatever you want.

I grew up in Hong Kong and during second grade I had this British lady, Miss Rita, as one of my English teachers.

And on the first day of class she tried to take attendance but she had trouble saying our Chinese names.

So in the end Miss Rita told everyone, everyone should get a Western English name because it will be good for you in the future when you do business internationally.

As a second grader, conducting international business was all I could dream of.

Because I knew it was either that or the Apple factory.

I would much rather work with white people to exploit other Chinese.

So eventually I picked the name Oliver because I used to love soccer.

I used to idolize this German goalkeeper named Oliver Kahn.

I was like, one day I'm going to be just like him, part of the master race.

When I was in college, I had to take a social studies class.

And one of the things they taught us was being a straight white male is a privilege.

And I used to believe in that narrative because why should we judge people by their actions when we can simply judge them by their race, gender, and if they suck dicks.

I used to be very liberal because after moving to the US,

I grew up and went to college in Boston, Massachusetts, a state more blue than my teenage balls.

I was surrounded by very progressive people.

Even when I brought girls back to my dorm, we would just CNN and chill.

They used to show me systemic racism as foreplay, which is not good because now when I hear about police brutality,

I was at a dog park yesterday and I saw this giant pit bull with a tiny boner trying to hump another dog.

The owner separated them, but a minute later the pit bull started mounting another dog.

And I was thinking how crazy it is that dogs can just do that in public.

Can you imagine if a man tries to do that in public?

We will immediately arrest him and call him a dog f***er.

And because I have lived in Boston most of my life,

I always thought the word patriarchy has something to do with the New England Patriots.

Many years ago, the first time someone asked me, what do you think about the patriarchy?

Because immediately she was like, but patriarchy is oppression.

I thought she had blue hair because that's the team color.

But no, later people told me she had blue hair because she is a feminist.

And if you don't know how hair color is connected to gender equality, neither do I.

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Why Asian People Have Western English Names? | Oliver Chan | Stand Up Comedy

eventually

apparently

privilege

immediately