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  • As you approach the monumental age of 30,

  • the awkward transitional period of your life becomes nothing more than a distant memory.

  • Until now, welcome to second puberty.

  • The stage of life when you actually become an adult.

  • You're going to begin to notice some changes.

  • Like hair where there wasn't here before.

  • In your nostril, on your back, and in your ears. Pretty much everywhere except your head,

  • the one place where it matters.

  • You'll see your body blossoming into womanhood.

  • Womanhood being the doughier, wrinklier version of girlhood.

  • Cellulite, stretch marks, smile lines. That's right, smile lines. You are being punished for joy.

  • The day-to-day stress of your adult life will lead you to seek out comfort foods.

  • Unfortunately, your new adult stomach can no longer handle delicious food,

  • so you can either deal with the overwhelming cravings or diarrhea.

  • So much diarrhea

  • That brings us to exercise. Not being fat is a ton of work now.

  • But with a strict regimen and a healthy diet,

  • you might be able to transform that very chubby body into a sort of chubby body.

  • And all it costs is your social life.

  • As a man, you might start to notice you don't craze sex the way you did when you were a teenager.

  • This is referred to as the ''dicks are assholes'' phenomenon.

  • You see, men reach their sexual peaks before women when their chances of getting laid are the lowest.

  • Then, their dicks slowly break over time.

  • Human sexuality is essentially one big, missed high five, but that's nothing compared to fertility.

  • Which dictates that a 15-year-old girl making a mistake on prom night has a better chance of getting pregnant

  • than a 40-year-old woman actively trying to conceive with their husband.

  • In fact, fertility starts to fall off year by year after 30.

  • So start thinking about that stuff now ladies.

  • But why bother worrying at all? You have no idea what you're doing,

  • and anyone who's ever giving you advice is a fallible human, who could be wrong about everything.

  • Better you just drink to forget.

  • Oh-ho! But hangovers are way worse now.

  • So, did I mention you can rent a car? uh... that's pretty cool.

  • Hey guys, it's Murph from college humor.

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As you approach the monumental age of 30,

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B1 US adult chubby fertility diarrhea puberty life

How To Prepare For Second Puberty

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    Gisele Sung posted on 2015/09/15
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