Is this his face or something?

How do you get through a breakup?

"Well, suck it up." "Be strong." "Tough it out!"

These are some of the things you hear people tell you.

Well, what if I told you that none of those work?

And instead, that you should do the exact opposite.

Give yourself permission to feel it all!

See, in 2010, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher discovered using MRIs in advanced brain mapping,

that when you’re going through a breakup, the exact same regions of the brain are activated as when an addict is going through periods of withdrawal.

Simply put, we’ve scientifically proved that love really is a drug.

It’s a big deal because it kills this notion we went along assuming for years that going through a breakup is just this emotional process.

When really, they’re very much physical, too.

It’s why you find yourself experiencing a loss of appetite, fatigue, anxiety and many other symptoms that an addict goes through when experiencing withdrawals.

Like addiction, we figured we’d give you 12 steps to help you through a breakup.

We only have like… we only have a few minutes.

We can’t do 12? What about like…10?

Here are five steps to help you through a breakup.

First, we gathered participants who were fresh out of a breakup.

And tested their current level of happiness.

You know, it’s kind of day-by-day.

Uh... Some days it's tough. Some days it’s alright.

How long was the relationship?

It was 10 months. Yes. But who’s counting?

Well it was domestic for about a year, but before that we were like back and forth for a total like 4 years.

The first step is to get your anger out in a healthy way.

Go at it.

Come around and connect with it.

Couple more.

Give me a good one. Finish it out!

Yeah, work the gut. Work the gut, I like it!

One more big one! That’s it. All right champ, alright, alright you got it.

How are you feeling?

I feel good.

Kind of clearing everything else out.

I guess that is one good way for me to get it out.

Next up is to turn it into a learning experience.

You can’t change the past but you can use it as a lesson.

Looking back on your last relationship, I want you to tell me three things that you learned from it.

Perception greatly differs between different people. You can be in the same situation, same people same place, and have two different stories about the same event.

Being more open.

Age is sometimes more than a number.

What was it that made you realize this lesson?

We didn’t fight a lot, but when we did fight, it seemed to always boil down to the same issues.

And they seemed to be like fundamental, intrinsic thing within each of us.

When you’re giving your attention, time, money, affection to something, you’re investing a part of yourself into that, and that’s the part of your heart that you’re giving to someone else.

He wasn’t always like the greatest boyfriend. I wasn’t gonna settle for somebody who I had to explain myself to.

The next part is perhaps the most important one, accepting where you are right now.

Try to be aware of what you’re feeling and don’t push it away.

Don’t shut it off. Don’t suppress it.

One way to do this is through meditation.

And...begin.

Welcome to this five minute session for self-acceptance.

How are you feeling?

Don’t feel as much anxiety, you know?

Accepting everything as is and being able to really objectively go about doing things, rather than just filling my time with to-dos just to... I don't know, think about it.

Acknowledge the good, just as there was a significant enough reason to end your relationship.

There had also be a lot of positive reasons that kept you in it.

Okay.

Got it? -- Yeah

One really positive aspect of dating Brian was his outrageous personality over filled with laughter and love.

We had a lot of good times when we didn’t have a plan.

When we were eating Mexican food, singing karaoke, playing with animals at the pet shelter, watching horror films and "out" hashtagging each other on Instagram.

I felt the best of times like nothing else mattered at all, and the world was at our fingertips.

It’s hard.

I gotta hand it to Brian.

Because he was everything to me.

In the past two months, since we broke up, I spent a lot of time staying busy, doing other stuff.

And there were a lot of things that I hadn’t really asked myself.

But it seems frivolous at the time or pointless cause it was over.

You know, you build kind of your dailies and your lifestyle around someone else on your relationship sources.

It's... when you’re single, it’s just you, so I gonna go back to just being me.

You know, you kind of feel like almost lame sometimes, but then I gotta remember I can be fun.

Lastly, focus on your best qualities.

Breakups often leave us feeling like our world is crumbling, like we’re worthless.

So it’s important to reassert your self-worth, and really internalized that you have value.

We had them write down their five best qualities, the five greatest things that they had to offer, and handed it to a rapper.

Celebrate, celebrate, we’re gonna celebrate you. –-Celebration.

Money, money, money, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This one is for you.

You got it. Yeah, yeah.

This one goes out to my man Scott. Mr. Reliable, I’m loving it, a sensitive guy.

Ms. Independent like a Ne-Yo song. So forward thinking that you’re beyond smart.

Do what you do. Get the best of the best.

You’re the queen of the cross, never settle down for less.

Cuz that what you want. Raising the bar.

No more dating ancient grandpas.

Here we go, Sarah, working hard all day.

Love is a drug, don’t overdose.

Go for gold, hold your own.

You’re the best around, Karate Kid song.

After they were done, we tested their current level of happiness.

We saw an average increase of 13% and jumps as high as 31%.

So yeah, maybe you can’t change where you are, but there is a healthy way to work through it.

Don’t look at the relationship as a failure.

Recognize it as an experience that made you smarter.

In correlating breakups with addiction, researchers prove something we’ve known right from the start.

Time really does heal all wounds.

I’m Julian, and thank you for watching this season of "The Science of Love."

Soul Pancake. Subscribe!