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  • I'll talk to you later.

  • Carly.

  • Carly.

  • Keep it together.

  • You can do this.

  • Stay with me Carly

  • Carly...

  • Carly

  • Carly, are you there?

  • You're here now.

  • There's no avoiding it.

  • Where?

  • The first step. Reminiscing and retracting

  • I don't wanna get up.

  • That's fine. You can lay here all day.

  • You can cry all night.

  • You are allowed to do all the things you've promised to yourself that you'll never do.

  • Like listen to an old voice message to hear his voice

  • Sorry I missed your call. I'm in subway right now. But I'll call you back later, okay?

  • Or wish him message you. Just so you know, he was thinking of you too.

  • But at the same time, when she wouldn't. Because it would only make you miss him more.

  • And you know you shouldn't, butyou text him. Maybe even call him.

  • You've fight it. But you lose.

  • You watch the sappy rom coms.

  • It's cliché but go ahead. Eat from the crumbs.

  • I miss everything about him.

  • What do you miss?

  • How steady he felt when I hug him tight.

  • The way he would rest his chin on top of my head.

  • Sharing his hand felt when he catch me through the crowd.

  • That look in his eyes when he accidentally ate the last cookies.

  • Sweety kisses after he worked out which made me cringed every time. But

  • now it just make me smile.

  • I miss it all.

  • That's okay. You're allowed to. You're supposed to.

  • It's okay you do look like crap and not caring.

  • Who do you try to impress anyway.

  • Do you see him?

  • Everywhere

  • Hey. It's okay to purposely avoid all those places in the pain.

  • You just wanna be alone.

  • You friend insist on taking you out. Butall you want is

  • To shut off all the lights.

  • Curl up in bed and cry some more.

  • Your friends are try to help by saying:

  • You can do so much better.

  • I didn't like him in anyways.

  • I don't want to hear any of that.

  • It doesn't help at all.

  • I justwanna back in my life.

  • Or do you just miss the thought of him?

  • You miss the routine, the comfort, the body, that's all, right?

  • No. at this point, you just miss him.

  • And that's okay.

  • Carly

  • Carly. Are you there?

  • Yeah.

  • Do you wanna get up?

  • Actually, I do.

  • How long was I there?

  • It doesn't matter. All that matter is that you're ready

  • For the next step

  • Release

  • I'm hungry.

  • I think you can put some effort into looking sort of decent.

  • What does that to do?

  • Brushing your hair? Maybe a little eye shadow. Some blush?

  • Yea. No. you're right. No blush yet.

  • Call up one or two of your close friends to catch up.

  • You're ready to talk a little bit about your ex. But this time with a clear hair.

  • You might see cute guys for their eyes but nothing stirs inside your heart.

  • No butterflies, no sparks, no interest.

  • Because I still miss him. You'll for a while

  • but at least the urge of contact him or check up become less frequent.

  • You just have to learn to suppress those urges now.

  • How long will I be here?

  • As long as you need to be.

  • You're up early. -I'm ready.

  • The next step. Rebuilding.

  • One day becomes two. Two becomes a week.

  • Weeks become months. And soon you're ready to prove to yourself that you can live on.

  • You actually wanna go out. Socialize, meet new people.

  • You talk, laugh, flirt.

  • Yes even flirt. Or whatever you call what you just did.

  • I'm a little rusty. -It's okay. It's been a while.

  • As long as you're smiling again.

  • You start doing things toward a better version of you.

  • Trying the fruit clans. Finally taking that trip to Europe.

  • Trying yoga for the first time. cutting your hair

  • Oh, okay. Nothing too crazy.

  • Running a marathon, checking out a museum,

  • cleaning out your old clothes.

  • You start to see life without him.

  • Carly.

  • It was the first time he came over.

  • I cooked spaghetti and he got a stain on it.

  • I put it into a wash away.

  • We ended up talking for hours.

  • And he forgot it here.

  • You've made so much progress Carly. Please.

  • I kept it in the closet as a reminder of that night.

  • That was almost four years ago.

  • I thought he was the one.

  • We both did.

  • Yeah. It did feel special.

  • It was.

  • And it always will be.

  • Sometimes no matter how hard you try,

  • something can always hold you back for moving on.

  • A lingering memory, a false hope.

  • And you fold back a few steps.

  • But if you could be strong, you'll finally make it out.

  • Renewed

  • The world is brighter, happier, lighter.

  • That huge weight of pain and fear has been left and all you feel is excitement.

  • Excitement for what's to come. Excitement for the possibilities.

  • At this point, it's not even about finding another person to love.

  • It's about finding who you are as a person. As a human

  • It's only when you don't have to consider anyone else that you could focus completely on your own life.

  • And creating the best possible version of yourself.

  • But there's no harm in smiling back at the cute guy in coffee shop.

  • Even the strong cry,

  • when no one's looking

  • we try

  • not to be scared on the outside,

  • but I know that there's strength from the fall,

  • it's not weak, to be weak at all.

I'll talk to you later.

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After Us

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    Go Tutor posted on 2014/10/26
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