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  • School was weird for me.

  • I had to take English as a second language classes.

  • I struggled in these classes because I only spoke English.

  • I wish that wasn't true.

  • I went to a school with a bunch of immigrant kids.

  • They didn't know what to do with me.

  • The teachers are like, what do we do with the Asian kid who speaks English?

  • Yeah, they decided let's just put him with the others.

  • So English is now my first and second language.

  • I didn't complain.

  • If you speak English, that class is really easy.

  • I got a C.

  • Nailed it.

  • My parents raised us American.

  • I'm not very Asian at all.

  • I don't even like going to Asian restaurants.

  • Asian waiters don't like me.

  • They can sense that I'm a traitor.

  • My wife took me to this

  • Vietnamese restaurant.

  • We sit down, the Vietnamese guy comes by.

  • I'm just like, hey, can I have a Coke?

  • He was so rude because he didn't work there.

  • I don't know why I did this.

  • This happens to every Asian person in an Asian restaurant.

  • They think you were.

  • It's happened to me before, OK?

  • He was mad.

  • He's like, why don't you get me a Coke?

  • It became this really weird scene, like two Asian guys yelling at each other like in a Vietnamese restaurant.

  • It was like a weird, racist, friendly fire standoff.

  • Everybody in the restaurant is looking at us now.

  • I heard someone go, why are the waiters arguing?

  • Is there going to be Kung Fu fighting?

  • I'm from a big family.

  • There was 10 of us.

  • This is typical for Laotians.

  • We have big families.

  • Most of my friends are American.

  • They all have two kids.

  • They can't relate to this at all.

  • They love and spoil those two kids.

  • They're always like, how did your parents deal with 10 kids?

  • Laotians deal with 10 kids the same way you guys deal with two.

  • They love and spoil two of them.

  • It's like a basketball team.

  • There's two stars, right?

  • Six kids are role players.

  • They defend and rebound and two kids never come off the bench.

  • They're afraid you're going to trade them to another team.

  • So it's unusual that I'm doing comedy because I'm a doctor.

  • It's also unusual because I'm Laotian.

  • Laotians aren't funny people.

  • Culturally, we're just very serious people.

  • My parents hate that I do this.

  • They think I'm running away with a circus.

  • I was super excited.

  • I got my parents to come to a show.

  • I was like, it'll be a good time.

  • We'll make them laugh.

  • It'll be awesome.

  • It wasn't awesome.

  • Yeah, they didn't laugh once and they made everybody uncomfortable.

  • I made it this big deal at the beginning of my set.

  • I told the audience, my family's here, woo.

  • And then every time I told a joke, instead of laughing at the joke, the entire audience looked at my family.

  • My parents stayed up there the whole time like this.

  • By the end of the show, the entire audience was on their side.

  • I had 300 people looking at me like.

  • I was bombing, I was silent, crickets.

  • The only time the audience laughed was when my dad goes, you're not funny.

  • I got heckled by my dad.

  • I want you guys to find me on social media.

  • I'm gonna spell my name.

  • You ready?

  • My first name is Vieng Sook.

  • It's V-I-E-N-G-S-O-U-K.

  • My last name is Pomachan.

  • P-H-O-M-M-A-C-H-A-N-H.

  • Got it?

  • I do this at every show.

  • I'm up to 12 Instagram followers.

  • It's awkward.

  • My name is 20 letters long, okay?

  • I had to change my login for a website.

  • I accidentally put my name in that new password box.

  • It told me it was very strong.

  • You're welcome to use it.

  • That was just my first name.

  • I tried my last name and it said too strong.

  • And the internet crashed.

  • So my name kind of stinks when you're a doctor, all right?

  • I still see patients.

  • Every day I meet a patient whose name is something like Bob.

  • It's a different guy every day, but it's the same guy.

  • You don't know him, but you know him.

  • Bob finds out I'm from Laos.

  • He has to tell me he's been to Korea, which is cool because culturally, geographically, they're not even close.

  • And I get this from Bobs.

  • They're always like, oh, Poma-chan.

  • What does that mean?

  • He thinks it's gonna mean like he who fights bear.

  • What it means is nothing.

  • I don't know why this happens.

  • It happens every day.

  • I've started playing along.

  • When I meet a Bob, I'm always like, ooh, Bob.

  • That's so exotic.

  • What does Bob mean?

  • And then I tell Bob, Poma-chan means Laotian love machine.

  • I don't get any more questions.

  • I used to have a job selling cell phones.

  • This lady needed help.

  • She saw my name tag and comes up to me and goes, do you speak good English?

  • I was wondering the same thing about her.

  • And the right answer is yes, I speak English.

  • How can I help you?

  • What I decided to say was, you know what?

  • I help you very good.

  • I know that's cheesy, but it's totally true.

  • And I sold a phone.

  • Some of you guys didn't get that.

  • I sold a Motorola flip phone as Mr. Miyagi.

  • Do you know how hard that is?

  • Flip phone open, flip phone close.

  • I live in Florida.

  • Yay.

  • It's hurricane season.

  • That's always fun.

  • I get really jealous of meteorologists during hurricane season.

  • I think they have the coolest job in the world because they get to be on TV and say whatever.

  • There's no accountability.

  • If I screw up as a doctor, somebody might get sick, right?

  • They get to predict hurricanes, cause widespread panic, and then miss by 10 states.

  • And we're cool.

  • We're just on a sunshine lake.

  • And we listen to them like they're Oprah.

  • If they tell us a hurricane's coming, we go to Walmart like it's the apocalypse.

  • We murder our neighbors for like Triscuits and Spam.

  • And they show us something called the spaghetti model.

  • It's this like big satellite model with like a bunch of colored lines on it predicting where the hurricane's gonna go.

  • Why would you trust something called the spaghetti model?

  • It looks like a toddler threw up on a map.

  • And I can't think of another job where you can use the spaghetti model.

  • Like I don't get to use it.

  • If I'm explaining surgery, I can't be like, let's look at the spaghetti model.

  • It's just.

  • I have to remove one of these eight organs.

  • We'll know more when we're closer.

  • We'll know more when we're closer.

School was weird for me.

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