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  • Yes?

  • Hello, young lady.

  • We're selling chocolate.

  • Is your mother home?

  • Mom!

  • What? What? What's all the yelling?

  • You just can't wait for me to die, can you?

  • They're selling chocolate.

  • Chocolate?

  • Yeah.

  • What? What are they selling?

  • Chocolate.

  • What?

  • Chocolate.

  • I can't hear you.

  • They're selling chocolate.

  • They're selling chocolate?

  • Yeah.

  • Chocolate.

  • I remember when they first invented chocolate.

  • Sweet, sweet chocolate.

  • I always hated it.

  • Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating.

  • It's for...

  • You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

  • No. No. No.

  • Live forever, you say?

  • I'll take one.

  • Come on, you lazy Mary.

  • Stop rubbing me with that chocolate.

  • I hate you.

  • If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time.

  • Hooray for lying!

  • It'll make your hair grow.

  • Great. My wife's trying to grow a beard.

  • They'll make you sound smart.

  • I'll take 20.

  • It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.

  • Just in time.

  • They make you fly.

  • You'll fall in love.

  • They'll bring world peace.

  • You'll walk through walls.

  • You'll rule the world.

  • This'll be the best lie yet.

  • Yeah, this guy'll feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate.

  • What can I do for you boys?

  • Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.

  • Really? Small world.

  • What's the matter with you guys?

  • Uh, we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding.

  • Some guys have all the luck.

  • I was born with glass bones and paper skin.

  • Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms.

  • At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

  • Quick, Patrick, let's help him.

  • Careful.

  • Put him down gently.

  • Poor, poor man.

  • If there's anything, anything we can do to help you...

  • There is one thing.

  • As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high.

  • But luckily I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars.

  • Such nice boys.

  • How does my heart good to con a couple of classy sucker-roonies like those two?

  • So much for no more baby stuff.

  • And don't forget the cookie-eating hat.

  • Hey, that's my cookie-eating hat.

  • I mean, it was when I was a baby.

  • Well, look who's here.

  • It's my big old adult grandson.

  • Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation with Mr. Patrick.

  • Patrick, what are you doing?

  • Cookies? Warm milk? A bib?

  • Is that a kissy mark on your forehead?

  • We are supposed to be adults.

  • Uh-oh. No roughhousing with a full tummy.

  • The baby.

  • I'm the baby. I'm the baby. I'm the baby.

  • Being grown-up is boring. I love being a baby.

  • Besides, I don't get jazz.

  • Oh, poor Patrick. I almost feel sorry for you.

  • Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days.

  • Never to know the rich rewards of being a grown-up.

  • Here's a fresh batch of cookies.

  • All right.

  • Rewards, huh?

  • Well, yeah. There's...

  • Let's see. We went over the jazz.

  • Tell Grandma I'm full.

  • More cookies.

  • It appears to be my lunch hour.

  • Grown-ups have to eat, too. I guess this will have to do.

  • Oh, you don't want this baby food.

  • How about a big piece of steamed coral?

  • Oh, yeah. Uh, great.

  • Nutritious.

  • Story time.

  • Oh, boy. Story time. Story time.

  • Story time. Story time.

  • Story time.

  • Story time.

  • Oh, boy. Story time. Story time. Story time.

  • Story time.

  • You'll enjoy this, Patrick.

  • It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun.

  • Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book.

  • Here's the technical manual on routine active maintenance.

  • Oh, uh, great. Yeah. Fascinating.

  • New pictures. Just the way I like it.

  • Oh! My little finger!

  • Hold still. Hold still.

  • All better?

  • Sort of. This finger hurts a little bit, too.

  • How about I give you a present?

  • Oh, boy. I hope it's cookies.

  • Oh, right. Another hat.

  • No, Patrick. It's a sweater.

  • Huh?

  • With love in every stitch.

  • No.

  • Don't I get a present, Grandma?

  • Oh, I almost forgot.

  • Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them.

  • I knew you wouldn't mind.

  • Uh-oh. Three o'clock.

  • Time for adults to go to work.

  • Bye-bye, SpongeBob.

  • I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick?

  • You're still here, SpongeBob?

  • Uh, I don't have to leave yet. I can be late for work.

  • No, no, no. That wouldn't be the adult thing to do.

  • All right. I guess I'll be going.

  • I've got a lot of adult-type business to take care of.

  • So, uh, I'll see you later.

  • Okay. Thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.

  • Yep. That is it. Here I go.

  • Come again if you get the chance.

  • Out into the cold, grown-up world.

  • Alone. Without a sweater.

  • Toodle-loo.

  • I don't know when I'll be back.

  • I know how busy you are.

  • So, uh, that's it.

  • Shh. He's asleep.

  • So long.

  • Look what I've got.

  • Rectangles!

  • Not just any rectangles. Candy bars.

  • Oh.

  • All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives.

  • Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now.

  • I think I'll eat it now.

  • Oh!

  • Where'd my candy bar go?

  • I must have dropped it.

  • You just ate it, Pat. It's all over your face.

  • Where'd it go? I'm gonna starve. Where'd it go?

  • I can't find it. Where could it possibly be?

  • Ah-ha!

  • What?

  • You stole my candy bar.

  • No, I didn't.

  • Oh, so that's how it is, huh?

  • Once a thief, always a thief.

  • You ate yours. This is mine.

  • You took my only food.

  • Now I'm gonna starve.

  • Here, Patrick. Just take half of mine.

  • Yours? You mean mine.

  • Do you want it or what?

  • I don't want it unless you admit you took it.

  • This is my candy bar.

  • Liar, liar. Plants for hire.

  • It's pants on fire, Patrick.

  • Well, you would know. Liar.

  • Well, if you're gonna be that way, I'll eat it myself.

  • You better not.

  • I'm warning you!