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  • You know the foundation of a lasting relationship? It’s not trust or communication or any of

  • that crap. It’s finding a woman who is cool with you watching her shower and lets you

  • stand there while she pees.

  • See, she’s peeing because...girls don’t poop.

  • Look it up. It’s The Sims 2.

  • Of course, to be specific, this is the console version of The Sims 2. And if youre a fan,

  • youre aware that The Sims 2 is slightly different depending on your platformconsole

  • versus PC. This version strips away things like death, pregnancy, the stuff that makes

  • the PC game even more simmy. But what’s cool is that the game actually had some things

  • added to it on consoles, too. So it’s very much its own experience.

  • Plus, I mean...no risk of pregnancy? Tell me which world you want to be in.

  • So if youve never played a Sims game, uh...youve probably been busy doing things and accomplishing

  • stuff. Congratulations, nerd. Uh, while youve been wasting your life away, I got my Sim

  • a job as a lingerie model. So...don’t be all pissed at me when you get depressed.

  • I’m pulling, like, 200 bones a day, bro. In the video game world. And with exchange

  • rates and...inflation, dude. That’s even more impressive than it sounds.

  • So the big change in The Sims 2 was that it made relationships a lot more dynamic. Now,

  • Sims would remember stuff. So if you made a lame pickup attempt earlier, your prospective

  • partner might be even less receptive to your god-awful advances. It’s too bad youre

  • not a boss like me. She wants me. Your Sim also has this...seemingly endless

  • list of sh*t you have to take care of. It’s like even the slightest, most mundane details

  • of your life are included in The Sims 2. So you have to pay bills, you have to make dinner,

  • you have to wash dishes, you have to poop. Unless youre a girl, in which case, you

  • have to...sit there. And pretend.

  • It’s all an illusion.

  • And again, the console version has some additions of its own. For starters, there’s an actual

  • storyline you can do, which is pretty cool. There’s not really a story, but it’s more

  • about achieving goals. You have this list of aspirations, and the more of them you can

  • achieve, the more places you can go and things you can do. It gets complex, so it’s fortunate

  • that there’s also a freeplay mode that’s a little more...free.

  • The Sims 2 made a ton of improvements on the original...from the sweeping, like the new

  • cooking system; to the subtle, like facial expressions and body language. It’s this

  • hectic, complex recreation of our hectic, complex lives. So you have to eat, sleep,

  • shower, make that money, get those honeys...

  • Dude, my Sim is insatiable. Everyone! Get out of here. Itit’s The Sims 2 for the

  • PS2. Get out of here!

You know the foundation of a lasting relationship? It’s not trust or communication or any of

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