Millennial's getting way too creative. I'm telling you.

First of all, I got a little boy in my room named Sapphire Moon.

Exactly.

And then he going to come up to me and say, "Oh, Ms. Gaines, I don't have my homework because mercury in retrograde."

Why do you know that? You know what I mean?

I was like, "Tell your mama you need to stop burning all this sage in my classroom."

I don't understand what all this means, OK?

And then-- check this out-- I have another one in my classroom named Sha-Dw@*il'ah.

Yes.

And this is what Millennials do because I can look at this audience tonight and tell you all your names are extinct, OK?

None of y'all are repeats. All right?

Sha-Dw@*il'ah.

What they do is they take three syllables, they push them together, and then they arbitrarily capitalize any letter they feel like capitalizing.

And now they started putting punctuation marks in the name. - What?

Let me tell you how Sha-Dw@*il'ah mama spell her name.

Y'all got to follow me, OK? You ready?

Capital S-h-a-- hyphen-- capital D-w- at sign-- asterisk-- i-l-- apostrophe-- a-h.

Exactly.

I looked at the roster.

I said, "Baby, is this your name or your mama computer password?

Because I'm going to tell you right now, I'm not going to memorize this by June. I'm just telling you."

It's not going to work out.

And then these are the parents who are always complaining that their kids don't win student of the month.

Really?

Ma'am, you think I got that kind of time that I'm going to sit here and try to type this out on a certificate?

I got a vision board.

I don't-- this is not a priority to me.

You see what I'm saying?

And listen, y'all, my student be just like this every ceremony:

"And thank you parents for coming and our student of the month in Ms. Gaines class for the seventh time. Give it up for, Tim.

Yes. Come on up here, little buddy. This is for you absolutely."

Then they going to complain about me, talking about, "Ms. Gaines, Tim won student of the month nine times. That's not fair."

I said, "Hey, you know, he's a good kid."

They were like, "Well, he was absent 19 times."

I was like, "Hey, that's called consistency and I honor that."

Exactly.

And then Sha-Dw@*il'ah is one of those students that's always-- oh, she's that kid that you think about when you wake up and you think about when you going to bed.

You know what I mean?

Teachers and educators can feel me.

She is that kid that's so difficult because I'm just doing a regular lesson.

I was trying to show the kids that large animals, just because they're large don't mean their body parts are large.

Like the esophagus of a whale is not large enough for a human being to fall laterally through.

She's going to interrupt me.

"Ms. Gaines, at my church, Jonah got swallowed by a whale. Boop boop."

I said, "Wait a minute." First of all, did she boop boop me?

Because everybody know in the African-American community, when sound effects start, that's when the fight break out.

"Did you just boop boop me?"

I was like, "Angel, calm down. Get it together. You're a credentialed teacher. She's eight. You got this."

I said, "OK, Sha-Dw@*il'ah, what I'm talking-- yes, you're talking Bible. I'm showing you science. If you just look."

She going to interrupt me again.

"Ms. Gaines, don't e'en worry about it. Don't e'en worry about it.

I'll just wait 'til I get to heaven. I'll ask Jonah what happened. Boop boop."

I was like, "Wait a minute, that's two boop boops.

Is that two?

Oh, little girl, oh, we boop booping today, huh.

OK, Sha-Dw@*il'ah, let me ask you this.

What if Jonah don't go to heaven and Jonah goes down there? Boop boop."

Then she gonna look at me and say, "Then good. You could ask him."

So that's all my attorney is allowing me to talk about tonight.

Thank you.

I hear you, you lone applause.

I heard you.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, they are applaud-- they're not applaud friendly yet.

I'm going to drop that punch line again and see if they join you.

And that's all my attorney is allowing me to talk about tonight.

There you go.