Oh, hello.

I'm so glad you could make it on time.

You're welcome.

So tell me why you want this job?

I don't.

And in fact, I wanted to discuss your starting salary.

Is it not acceptable to you?

Honestly, no.

Rent nowadays is at least $1500 for a studio, I need to make three times that amount to qualify, so your starting salary should reflect that.

For what you're offering, I'm happy to work part time and remotely from home.

I'm sorry, this isn't a negotiation.

Oh, excuse me, I didn't see the line outside for this position.

So tell me why I should accept this job?

You know what?

I'm sick of this shit.

We got several Gen Z employees here and you are all the same.

You arrive late,

You made me street park.

reject assignments.

Why wouldn't I want to work on something I'm passionate about?

Avoid picking up phone calls.

It's not office hours.

Your generation is lazy, entitled, hooked on the instant gratification of technology and live way beyond your means.

Ex-squeeze me, our eyes are wide open to the bleak financial landscape that the older generations refuse to acknowledge.

Are you kidding me?

Here's some facts.

Rising cost of living, stagnant wages, housing affordability crisis.

Well-

Snap, crackle, pop, bitch.

And that's how a doomer schools a boomer. Follow me.

God. Your generation just does not wanna work.

The average person spends one third of their life, that's 90,000 hours working. Why would I want that?

Why do you want that? Gross.

You can't even use a fax machine.

I don't even know what that is. You just dated yourself.

Not all of you guys can be influencers and content creators. Ok?

Not everybody in this world can be an artist.

There is a practicality you have to face.

Why not?

With the advent of robots and automated work, shouldn't we allot for more people to creatively express themselves for their livelihood instead of doing manual repetitive labor?

Why are we giving AI the art?

You're a baby.

You're old.

Fragile snowflake.

Capitalist shill.

Growing up, the internet has led to the advanced polarization of ideology, forcing you to live in an echo chamber of performative social activism, cancel culture and a lack of being able to build a community or understand the nuance of social interactions.

You expect people to be perfect because their growth and humanity has been imprinted forever on the internet.

But you lack the life experience to see that it's a singular moment in time and not representative of the complexity of a human's totality.

No, we just hold the previous generations responsible for the state of the world we're inheriting and being blamed for.

Mr. Boomer, based on the gray in your hair, the bags under your eyes and the fat in your belly, you have children.

So pray tell. Why do you want us children to tolerate the same bullshit that you had to?

Don't you as a parent want to create a better future for us?

Wasn't that like, the whole point?

My God, you're right.

I did. I've been unfairly judging your generation against what it was like for my childhood.

Even though I have some very valid criticisms...

OMG, not poggers.

I should want to create a better future for your generation and beyond.

Thank you.

And I guess like I should try to remember that you're a product of your olden times.

You're from like what? The Paleolithic era? You didn't have Instagram therapy.

I didn't.

Let's get a selfie.

Let's-

say Boomer.

You didn't say Boomer.