Not even thinking.

That's not the joke. Shut up.

See, I can't even tell you guys a story. Already--

I wasn't thinking, I bought the car because it was affordable, economical, brand new freaking Beetle for, like, 17 grand.

I was like first new car.

I go to show it off at my friend Martin's house.

I thought it was nice, I pull up, you know.

"Martin!"

He lives in the hood, I don't get out the car.

Across the street, there are these gang members, they're kind of gang members they don't really get into, you know, like shooting people and stuff like that.

They just hang out on the porch and talk a lot of smack.

And so I'm there in a Beetle and across the street. I hear this. Right.

I'm like, "Martin!" and over here I hear, "Orale."

"Hey, what's up guys? How's it going?

"How'd you get in there, ese?"

"Hurry up, Martin!"

Two months later, I go back to pick them up.

Now, I've had some time to work on the car, right?

I put some rims on it, some stickers.

I put a chip in the motor so it goes faster.

I thought I was bad, right? I pull up--

"Martin!"

"Orale!"

"Uh-uh, I'm not turning around."

"Hey." "Uh-uh."

"Hey." "I don't see you."

"Yoo-hoo."

"Hey." "What?"

"Check it out, aye, it's the fat and the furious."

I didn't even wait, man.

I got rid of that car, man. I traded it in and got myself a big old SUV.

It was nice for a while. This car freaking sucked on mileage, though, man.

I got 11 miles to the gallon.

Oh, you cannot be bad-ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos, you can't.

You can't be at the stoplight trying to intimidate other cars, you know.

"What? What, what, what."

20 bucks right there.

Hell no. But it was kinda cool. It had a GPS navigational system in it. An OnStar, which was really cool.

You know, I'm driving and all of a sudden this girl is talking to me.

"Right turn, up ahead."

"At three quarter 10th of a mile, left turn."

And I'm like, "Whatever you say, baby."