So if you guys don't have any Middle Eastern friends make some tonight because Middle Eastern people always fight over the bill.

I know some white people are like, "Well, we do that."

No, you guys fight the other way.

You're not, you're not hearing me correctly.

You guys are like, "You pay. I paid last time. It is your turn, dude. Your turn."

Middle Easterns are like, "Please let me. No, you are not allowed. Your card is no good here. Me, me, me, me, me, please."

Even if they don't wanna pay, they're like, "Me, me, I hate my culture but I have to pay. I don't even like you but I have to pay for you."

That is beautiful.

That's a great tradition.

So go out with Middle Eastern people, you'll never pay again. All right?

My dad taught me that.

My dad loves to fight for the bill and pay.

But you know who else likes to do that?

His brother, my uncle.

So when they eat together, somebody gets hurt when the bill comes because they're fighting each other, right?

They're fighting like, "No, me."

I'm like, "You guys. It's McDonald's. Let me pay, please. We're scaring everybody here."

So it gets really competitive because they've been doing this fighting over the bill for six decades. Can you imagine?

They have gotten artistic with fighting over the bill.

Like the first time I remember, specifically, as they've gotten older, they're getting even better at it even smarter.

The bill didn't even come.

My uncle was upset.

He goes, "Where, where is? Excuse me? Where's the bill?"

She goes, "Oh no, no, no, he paid when he walked in."

That is so cool.

Just give the credit card when you walk in like, "I don't care what it costs. I'm paying."

And my uncle was depressed until the next time they could go out and eat again.

He doesn't like to lose.

The next time we go to eat, the bill doesn't come again.

My dad goes, "I was watching you. You didn't pay when we walked in. Where is the bill?"

My uncle goes, "I called in my credit card number. It's done."

That's how you do it.

Call it in.

"413256, yeah. No, I don't care what the price is. Please let me, please."

So this is amazing because the my dad, he was walking around depressed for like the next month because my uncle wasn't around and he'd been beaten and he's just, he was just a very downtrodden man.

And the next time we went to eat, finally, I gotta be here, I gotta see what happens.

And sure enough, my dad's sitting there, legs crossed, staring angrily, the way most of you looked at me this entire evening.

Even though it's my special, "We don't care, make us laugh. It's your job."

My dad is sitting there and the bill comes, he forgets to reach for it.

My uncle grabs it, "I beat you two in a row."

My dad just sits there, right?

He just sits there, and my uncle gave the credit card and the lady walked away and then the lady came back.

She looked at my uncle and said, "Sir, your credit card isn't working."

My uncle looked at my dad and goes, "What did you do?"

Without missing a beat, my dad goes, "I canceled your credit card.

You beat me twice, but I win third time every time. Thanks God.