And I would say that that's a strategy that a minority of men preferentially do.

That's all they do.

They worked like 70, 80 hours a week, they go flat out on their career.

They're staking everything on the small probability of exceptional status in a narrow domain.

But it's hard on them.

They don't have a life, it's very difficult for them to have a family.

What's the one thing, the one thing you said, "God, I wish I had done that, that I haven't done?"

You know, "Thank you, Melinda."

It may be that, that unit dimensionality is the price you have to pay to be exceptional at one thing, right?

Because if you're gonna be something like a genius level mathematician and you wanna do that for, or a scientist say it's like you're in your lab, you're in your lab all the time.

You're working 70 hours a week or 80 hours a week, you're smart, you're dedicated, you're unidimensional and that's how you get to beat all the other people who are doing that.

It's the only way.

But the problem is you don't get a life.

Now, if you love being a scientist and you have that kind of focus of mind.

Well, first of all, you're a rare person and second, you're gonna pay for it but find more power to you.

But, but it's a, it's a risky business to do that.

You sacrifice a lot for it.

You know, and I would say most often if you're speaking about having a healthy life, that isn't what you do, you spread yourself out more.

So, you know, you have a family, you have some things that you do outside of work that are meaningful to you and useful.

You have a network of friends that those three things alone, or four things alone are plenty to keep you well oriented.

And then if one of those things collapses, you know, everything doesn't go.

Now, the price you pay for that is the more you strive to optimize that balance, the less likely you are to be fantastically successful at any single one of them.

But you might have a very, you know, if you can consider your life as a whole, that might be a winning strategy.

One of the things Carl Jung said, I really like this.

He thought that men went after perfection and women went after wholeness, so they're different, they're different value.

They're different.

There's something different at the top of the value hierarchy.

So perfection would be, stake it all on one thing and look for radical success.

Not that all men do that because they don't.

But we're talking about extremes, at least with regards to the men that do that.

The wholeness idea is more like, well, it's like I want one thing in my life to be 150%, or I want five things in my life to be 80%.

Well, there a lot more richness in a life where you have five things operating at 80% but you're not operating any of them at 150%.

So, and I really believe this because I've watched men and women go through their careers now for a long period of time.

And one of the things that, there's lots of things that produce this, but one of the things that I've noticed is that mostly women in their thirties bear, bail out of unidimensional careers.

They won't do them, they won't put in the 80 hours a week that they would have to put in, in order to dominate that particular area.

And it isn't the reason that they won't do it is because they decide it's not worth it.

And no wonder because why would that be worth it?

Difficult.

Did you expect them to cheer you on?

So, they're hoping they would.

What are you trying to prove to them?

What I'm trying to do is to make a significant difference in space flight and help make space flight accessible to almost anyone.

And I would hope for as much support in that direction as we can receive.

You have to ask yourself that.

It's like, well, you wanna be an outstanding scientist.

It's like, ok, really, really, that's what you want because that means that's what you do.

A special one because you told me, you once told me that when you came back, we might be the same age and today I'm the age you were when you left.

It would be a real good time for you to come back.

'Cause you're competing with other people.

You know, they're smart, they're hard-working, and if you wanna be at the top, you have to be smarter and work harder than any of them.

And working hard means working long hours.

I mean, it also means working diligently, but in the final analysis, it's al also an additive issue.

If I'm smart and hard-working and I can crank out for 70 hours a week and you do it for 30, it's like in two years, I'm so far ahead of you.

You will never ever catch up.

Anyways. And I think partly, maybe part of the reason too that women are oriented that way more than men, I think there's two reasons:

one is socioeconomic status does not make women more attractive on the mating market, but it does make men more attractive.

And the second is women's time frame is compressed, right?

Because guys can always say, well, I'll have kids later and they can say that till they're like 80.

Whereas women, it's like no way, man, you gotta get it together by the time you're, let's say 40 but really probably by 35 but definitely by 40 because otherwise it ain't happening.

And that's bloody dreadful.

Like the most unhappy people you ever see.

No, no.

One of the common roots to extreme unhappiness is to want children and not have them.

I wouldn't recommend that.