Oh, hey there.

It's been awhile, how are your provinces?

Oh, they grow up so fast. You know, I got my hands full with 10, I don't know how you take care of 50 states.

Yeah, you know, well, it's not easy, the southern ones went through a rebellious phase.

And what about the adopted ones?

Oh, Alaska and Hawaii? Yeah, I haven't told them yet, but I think they've figured it out by now.

And the really loud one?

- Texas is still Texas. Oh, Canada, we should you know, hang out sometime, maybe play some baseball. - Play some hockey.

What? What's baseball?

Oh, sorry, I got to get this.

China, baby, how's it going?

Yes, I know I owe you a lot of money. Always making it about money.

You know what, listen. I will get it to you tomorrow.

Do you have like four trillion dollars I could borrow?

What am I saying, you're Canada. Okay, listen.

I will give you my watch until I can pay. That's right, you did make this.

China, you can't tell me what to do. Okay, I will do that, bye.

Besties, oh, hide me.

What? Oh come on, you guys haven't dated since 76.

I know, but it's so awkward.

Well, I told you to break up with him in person, and not over declaration. Come on, you can do this. I've got some hockey stuff to purchase.

Oh, hi, USA, didn't even see you there, which is weird, because you've put on a lot of land.

Hi, Britain.

You know, I've just felt so free the last few centuries, what with the breakup and all, never looked back.

You tried to get back together in 1812.

Yes, well, anyway, I've just been having so much success lately, with the Beatles and Harry Potter and Downton Abbey. I don't even think about us anymore.

That's great.

Take me back, please? Britain.

- Is it another man? Is it France? - Oh, gross, no.

Then what is it? Give me a reason.

Okay, you want to know why? I will tell you. Oh, North Korea.

Hello foreign scum. You want to see?

Do I or don't I?

Just pay me some attention!

Okay, I will tell you why. When we dated, the sun never set on your cheating.

You made a pass at every country you saw! Australia, India, Bahamas.

Mmm, Bahamas. Okay.

You know what and then there's just respect, I can't date a guy that I've beaten in war.

Okay, I was not trying my hardest.

Ok, plus you are desperate, okay? We broke up and you found every excuse you could to get me over, like oh, USA, I'm having a war, oh, come help me, oh, USA, I'm having another war, oh, I'm having an Olympics, come destroy me in every event. Oh.

Desperate. Am I right, Switzerland?

I'm staying out of this. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're over It.

I'm over it. Owie.

Look, I celebrate our breakup with fireworks, okay, I blow things up.

Fine, then. I don't need you or your bad credit.

Okay, I don't need a boyfriend who plays the wrong football.

Oh, right, I'll see you later, have a good obesity epidemic.

Get a dental plan. Which way did Canada?

That way. Oh, Canada!