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  • (The) first one has to do with where you put your attention when you're out in public.

  • You're talking to someone, and maybe for whatever reason, you'd like to explore; you want to talk to another person.

  • The worst thing that you could do in that situation is start to scan the room 'cause you're not making that interaction interesting and fun.

  • It is incredibly hard to get other people to join you when you don't look engaged yourself.

  • When you're in (a) conversation, be in it.

  • The most interesting point in the whole room is right in between you two.

  • (The) second thing also has to do with attention, and it's to not let someone interrupt you while someone else is talking to you.

  • I did this; I was on the flip side of this.

  • I came in to talk to one friend, and he just ignored me.

  • At first, I was a little bit miffed.

  • I thought, "What is he doing?"

  • And a minute or two later, he said, "Hey, sorry, you had said something. What was that?"

  • And then he put his attention completely on me.

  • I respected him in that moment, even that I didn't totally like it. The fact that he was so centered as to focus on where he was was worthwhile.

  • Of course, there are times where you don't want to do this.

  • If you're in a big group conversation flows freely, you don't have to ignore everybody else.

  • One other time you don't want to do this is when you're in a group of people, and someone new enters.

  • It's actually good to pause the conversation, be the one that incorporates them, and then get things back on track.

  • (The) third thing, trapping, is the idea that you could be somewhere; maybe you're on a booth, maybe someone is against a wall.

  • If you don't know them, and you kind of close them in, it feels very uncomfortable.

  • The flip side of this, though, if you're out at a bar, lean against the bar when you're talking to someone,

  • it makes that person feel at ease, and it makes everyone else in the room think those people probably know each other fairly well.

  • If that other person wanders off, that's someone that I can comfortably talk to.

  • This takes us to the fourth thing.

  • When you communicate shame, it's generally not a powerful thing, especially if what you did was not a big deal.

  • This actually happened to my brother.

  • It's something that happens all the time.

  • People got our names mixed up.

  • This person called him by my name and afterwards, he went "Oh, sorry, sorry."

  • The weird thing is, literally today, someone else did the same thing but went, "Oh no, you're Henry, you're Charlie, sorry."

  • But it was this sense that nothing had happened that was wrong.

  • So if you've made a mistake, particularly a social one that wasn't on purpose, do not hang your head.

  • That's just gonna communicate that this mistake is more grievous than it actually is.

  • The last thing that we're gonna be touching on -- the eyebrow flash.

  • And what it means is that you generally know this person and like this person.

  • Say you're seeing a friend that you know, "Hey, what's going on?" and those eyebrows lift.

  • If you try to do this, like I have been for the last 30 minutes in the mirror, you're gonna be a weirdo.

  • I cannot recommend putting this one on purposely.

  • So don't.

(The) first one has to do with where you put your attention when you're out in public.

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