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  • ["Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." - Maya Angelou]

  • Love is often described as heartwarming, heart-wrenching, and even heartbreaking.

  • So, what does the brain have to do with it?

  • Everything.

  • The journey from first spark to last tear is guided by a symphony of neurochemicals and brain systems.

  • As you begin to fall for someone,

  • you may find yourself excessively daydreaming about them and wanting to spend more and more time together.

  • This first stage of love is what psychologists call "infatuation", or passionate love.

  • Your new relationship can feel almost intoxicating.

  • And when it comes to the brain, that's not far from the truth.

  • Infatuated individuals show increased activation in the ventral tegmental area.

  • The VTA is the reward-processing and motivation hub of the brain,

  • firing when you do things like eat a sweet treat, quench your thirst, or, in more extreme cases, take drugs of abuse.

  • Activation releases the feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine, teaching your brain to repeat behaviors in anticipation of receiving the same initial reward.

  • This increased VTA activity is the reason love's not only euphoric, but also draws you towards your new partner.

  • At this first stage, it may be hard to see any faults in your new perfect partner.

  • This haze is thanks to love's influence on higher cortical brain regions.

  • Some newly-infatuated individuals show decreased activity in the brain's cognitive center, the prefrontal cortex.

  • As activation of this region allows us to engage in critical thought and pass judgment,

  • it's not surprising we tend to see new relationships through rose-colored glasses.

  • While this first stage of love can be an intense rollercoaster of emotions and brain activity,

  • it typically only lasts a few months, making way for the more long-lasting stage of love known as "attachment", or compassionate love.

  • As your relationship develops, you may feel more relaxed and committed to your partner, thanks, in large part, to two hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin.

  • Known as pair-bonding hormones, they signal trust, feelings of social support, and attachment.

  • In this way, romantic love is not unlike other forms of love, as these hormones also help bond families and friendships.

  • Further, oxytocin can inhibit the release of stress hormones, which is why spending time with a loved one can feel so relaxing.

  • As early love's suspension of judgment fades, it can be replaced by a more honest understanding and deeper connection.

  • Alternatively, as your rose-colored glasses begin to lose their tint, problems in your relationship may become more evident.

  • No matter the reason a relationship ends, we can blame the aching pain that accompanies heartbreak on the brain.

  • The distress of a breakup activates the insular cortex, a region that processes painboth physical, like spraining your ankle, as well as social, like the feelings of rejection.

  • As days pass, you may find yourself, once again, daydreaming about or craving contact with your lost partner.

  • The drive to reach out may feel overwhelming, like an extreme hunger or thirst.

  • When looking at photos of a former partner,

  • heartbroken individuals, again, show increased activity in the VTA, the motivation and reward center that drove feelings of longing during the initial stages of the relationship.

  • This emotional whirlwind also likely activates your body's alarm system, the stress axis, leaving you feeling shaken and restless.

  • As time goes on, higher cortical regionswhich oversee reasoning and impulse controlcan pump the brakes on this distress and craving signaling.

  • Given that these regions are still maturing and making connections through adolescence,

  • it's no wonder that first heartbreak can feel particularly agonizing.

  • Activities like exercise, spending time with friends, or even listening to your favorite song can tame this heartbreak stress response,

  • while also triggering the release of feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine.

  • And given time and the support, most can heal and learn from even the most devastating heartbreak.

  • Did you know that you spend a third to half of your day daydreaming?

  • And, according to scientists, that may be a good thing.

  • Learn how boredom impacts your brain with this video, or watch this video to learn about what happens to your brainnot your bodyas you get older.

["Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." - Maya Angelou]

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