I am now in a place in my life and in my career, my business where I'm wanting to be more unapologetically authentically mice and that video explains all of that.

So first of all, my reaction is complete astonishment.

I can't believe the positive responses that I got one after the other from putting up that video, I'm telling you right now and this is part of the back story.

I almost did not put out that video at all.

It was going to go into the trash bin on my computer.

I was this close, it didn't happen because clearly the video came out and here we are today.

So let me tell you why I almost didn't put out that video, There were a lot of emotions that I was feeling leading up to putting out that video.

There were a couple of questions that I continuously kept asking myself that actually were so damaging and so toxic.

I mean, I don't know, like I don't know any other words to describe, but they were just the worst types of questions that you could ask yourself when you are wanting to move into a new direction when you're wanting to take on a new project, when you're wanting to let's say, make a new career move or you're wanting to start a business or you're wanting to make a lifestyle change.

If you ask yourself these two particular types of questions, the way that I was asking myself those questions and as often as I was asking those questions, they will slow you down so much to the point where they might even stop you from doing anything altogether.

And I want to bring awareness to what those questions are.

So let me give you a little bit of a back story.

My son has a story book called The Little Blue Truck, it was given to us by friends of ours and he loves reading that book at night or he wants me or my husband to read that book to him at night before he goes to bed and in the sea story there is one part of it where there's this character, a dump truck that shows up in little blue trucks world and he's saying, I have big important things to do, move out of the way and essentially what ends up happening is this dump truck, because he's moving so quickly, so swiftly, so aggressively on his path that he doesn't see that there is a curve in the road go ahead and in that curve where that bend is a huge mud puddle and he ends up getting stuck in the mud and eventually little blue truck has to come and help save him and all that stuff, but why that's so significant is because I was that dump truck getting stuck in the mud consistently because I felt like I want to make this shift, I want to talk to people about real things that I care about that I know are going to help them.

I want to put myself out there again and in a different way and I was very methodical about it when I first sort of was playing with this idea, trying to strategically plan it, but nothing was happening.

I hadn't recorded that video, I hadn't thought it through really as to what was my real purpose behind it.

I just was just trying to implement steps for myself and none of those steps really, even if I tried taking those steps, they didn't go anywhere.

I was stuck in the mud and the reason why I was stuck in the mud was because as I was trying to plan, being very serious about it, I caught myself in a web of questions and in a web of self doubt and anxiety and fear and low confidence and all those things that we experience when we're about to make a change.

So what are those two questions that I kept asking myself that were causing me to get stuck in the mud?

The first question is what if blank?

What if negative situation occurs?

What if worst case scenario occurs?

What if this bad thing happens?

I mean they're all essentially the same question, but is what if and what if not in a good way?

What if in a bad way?

Something happens?

So in my case, what if people think I'm crazy, What if people say really bad things about me or what if it actually just goes nowhere?

What if no one resonates with what I have to say?

I mean it's not so bad.

If no one resonates fine, whatever move on.

But the other things where if what if people really have an angry reaction to me being who I am?

Obviously that wasn't the case, but that was what was going through my head.

And when we ask ourselves these, what if questions, when you ask yourself these questions, what if this goes wrong?

What if this doesn't work out?

What if I fail?

What ends up happening is that you ask yourself a whole bunch of questions that you don't even have the answers to, you only have control over what you do, how you do it and your pure intentions, you have control over those, but you have no control over what happens and how people react.

And the problem with us as human beings is that we think we have control over everything.

And so that's why we ask ourselves these What if questions because we think if we ask ourselves these, what if questions somehow we'll have an answer to resolve those questions and the truth is we don't what if your house burns down tomorrow?

That is a real scenario that could potentially happen.

But are you gonna actually sit today here right now and actually plan for that worst case scenario what you're gonna do if in case your house burns down?

No you're not going to do do that.

I mean it sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

But this is what we do to ourselves.

We sit and we plan or we think we're planning by asking these questions for what could potentially happen.

The worst case scenario that could potentially happen because we think it will give us a sense of control.

And I've experienced this quite a bit actually with my um my coaching clients and they're about to apply for jobs.

They start asking the questions of, oh but what if they don't like this resume or what if they don't like these answers that I give or what if they don't ask the same question that I'm preparing for?

Or what if what if what if what if what if and like I say you have no control over how people react and what they'll do?

You only have control over what you do and how you feel about it and your intentions about it.

So when then what do you do if you're in this web of what if questions it's not enough to just say I'm going to stop.

I'm just gonna stop telling myself to ask these, what if questions because that's not going to work, It's just like when you tell your toddler to stop playing with that sharp object because you told them to stop playing with it, of course they want to play with it.

It's your mind works the same way.

So it's not enough to say just stop thinking about it.

Instead you're going to turn inwards and you're going to ask yourself, why am I asking myself these questions?

Where did I learn this pattern of thinking from?

I can tell you right now, it's likely from your upbringing somewhere in childhood, someone older than you in your family would ask you, Well, what if this happens, what if that happens, what if that happens or they were in that sort of pattern mindset and you witnessed that and you learned that behavior from them and you learned to fear the worst case scenarios from them.

It was learned.

Now you have to unlearn it, you have to ask yourself where did this come from?

Where did I pick up on this pattern?

Who taught me how to do this?

And you know, it's not about blaming anybody that sort of passes this behavior, this pattern onto you and they just happen to be caught up in this exact same pattern that you're in now and you happen to have been exposed to it.

So don't blame them, just understand where it came from.

And when you can understand where it comes from this pattern of thinking, then you can say, okay, this is a learned behavior now that I know where it comes from, I've released myself a little bit from it.

You'll actually notice a space between you and those.

What if questions, you'll notice that they don't have a hold on you as strongly as they did just maybe a few minutes before because you're actually facing them head on and then on top of that, if that doesn't work, let's just say which it should.

But if that doesn't work, another thing to do is to then try to actually answer your what if questions.

So your what if question of what if this fails?

The likelihood is that if it fails, you're just gonna have to figure a way out of it.

If it fails, you'll figure it out.

That's the real answer.

You'll pick yourself back up because if it fails, you're not gonna die, it's not the end of the world, you'll figure it out.

And so hopefully that gives you comfort.

Okay, so what if questions that those are a killer, they slow you down.

They keep you stuck in the mud and they will slow down your progress from reaching the goal that change that new direction that you want to head in second type of question you may be asking yourself that also keeps you stuck in the mud like that dump truck is the question of what will people think of me?

That was a huge question that I struggled with.

Not so much.

Well, no, this time around for sure.

But also even before I ever started on Youtube, I had those questions running through my mind.

What are people gonna think of me?

They're gonna think I'm crazy.

That's generally the answer.

They will think I'm crazy.

And the thing is, is if you care and put a lot of value on what other people think of you, you end up consuming all of your energy, your time, your effort, your brain power, your emotions, your spiritual essence.

I mean, I don't even know how to describe everything about you, gets consumed in that in thinking about what other people think.

I have to tell you something about that these other people that you're concerned about, they are currently all walking on their unique paths dealing with their unique pains, their unique traumas, they're unique issues.

And so they're within your circle, your community, your family, your group of friends, the people that you're worried about.

But they're all coming from different directions and walks of life.

And what that means is that when people are coming from all different directions and different walks of life with different mindsets and different behaviors and different patterns of thinking and different emotional states, they're all going to have a different opinion, they're all going to think differently and just like I talked about before we happen to think as humans that we have control over so much.

We have no control over every single person's opinion because every single person's opinion is going to differ and vary based on their own perceptions, their own beliefs about themselves.

The way that they're going to see you is a reflection of how they see themselves.

Take note of that when you are showing up authentically as who you are, the way that they're reacting to you is a direct reflection of actually how they feel about themselves.

There is something within them that they're either seeing or not seeing and that's the reaction that you're getting.

Just reflect on that when you have a moment, that person is going through their own stuff.

And so for them, it just feels really good to offload some of that negative energy that they're carrying on to somebody else and you just happen to be in their line of target in a more simpler world.

We would say that they were jealous, it's like a defense mechanism.

You just say that somebody else is jealous and you kind of feel better about it.

But it's really it's an insecurity, jealousy stems from insecurities, insecurity stems from pain from being hurt from feeling not good enough from feeling not valuable, not worthy.

They want to offload that negative energy because they can't carry it.

There's only so much pain a person can carry before they start to show that they're carrying this pain when they show it it comes out in anger.

It comes out in Snide remarks, Snide comments, they show you that they're unhappy with themselves, and then you think, you know, you end up feeling like you just gave me this negative comment, or you just gave me this this this negative energy.

I don't like you as a person, but you don't realize that beneath that there is pain there.

And so when you can understand that depth to a person, when you go a little bit deeper beyond the they're just not a nice person, you'll recognize that there is something more there.

And then what ends up having the understanding of that, that they're in a really tough place, that they're acting out, that negative energy that they're feeling.

It becomes empowering, you see them differently, and when you can see that and feel that in sense that from them and understand them.

Then, all of a sudden the pain that you felt from that criticism that you're received, it goes away, it doesn't bother you let me recap, Okay, the two damaging types of questions that are holding you back from making progress in your life, from making progress from that career change from that new direction shift that you want to go on.

What if negative situation occurs, scenario type of questions, worst case scenario questions and what will people think of me?

They are actually quite powerful because they are bringing awareness to you, that it's time to turn inwards and then what you're going to find, at least that's what I found is that a space opens up, a space opens up between me and those questions.

Instead of investing all my time, emotional mental energy into wondering about the answers for those or questioning myself with those questions.

A space opens up where I don't ask myself those questions and instead you still ask yourself what if but it's a what if this amazing result could happen?

What if this possibility, this beautiful possibility comes true?

What if it can be beyond my wildest dreams?

You start thinking along those lines, you start feeling into a more loving, warm, safer space within yourself and you're able to then move forward with your goals with your dreams, with your passions, feeling at ease.

So that is what I've worked on and I would say I'm feeling quite good about where I'm at with having made these realizations within myself over these last several years and months and that is what I want to share with you today.

If you're feeling stuck, you're feeling like you're trapped, check yourself out, see if you are asking yourself these questions and then do the work process it.

Then you'll open yourself up to that space and you can move forward with more ease.

That's all I have to say now.

Thank you so much.

I really hope that helps looking forward to seeing how this resonates with you.