Name: 7 Signs Someone is Secretly Narcissistic
Uploaded: 2023-01-31T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 5 min 48 s
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The subjunctive

If someone is arrogant and bossy, you may think that they're likely to be a narcissist.

Relative clauses (Restrictive vs. nonrestrictive)

But what about someone who's reserved, anxious and quiet?

There's a difference between narcissism and narcissistic tendencies after all.

Just because someone is arrogant and bossy doesn't necessarily mean they're a narcissist.

And having these certain personality traits does not constitute a diagnosis.

But narcissism actually comes in two forms: overt narcissism and covert narcissism.

At first glance, you probably wouldn't even realize someone is a covert narcissist because of how much more reserved in nature they seem to be.

Remember, this video is not made to attack anyone who may display these signs or anyone diagnosed with NPD, but rather to understand them and bring more awareness to the topic.

This video is also not made to diagnose anyone with NPD.

With that said, these are seven signs someone is secretly a narcissist.

Number one, they often act passive-aggressive.

Do you know anyone, maybe a friend, family member or colleague who often acts passive-aggressively to manipulate others and get what they want.

A covert narcissist can't take no for an answer, but they also won't confront you about it because they want to make you look like the bad guy.

So instead, they'll give you the cold shoulder, tell you backhanded compliments or whisper snide remarks about you under their breath.

All the while insisting that nothing is wrong and that they're not mad at you.

Covert Narcissists have an unrealistic sense of entitlement and want to demand special treatment from others without actually asking for it.

Number two, they're easily envious of others.

Whether we like to admit it or not, the truth is a lot of us struggle with feelings of jealousy and envy towards others,

but for most people this is because we can't help but compare ourselves to those around us and feel down when we don't think we measure up.

For narcissists, however, their feelings of envy are excessive and rooted in the idea that they are superior to everyone else, so no one should ever outshine or outperform them.

They resent other people for having the things they feel that they deserve more like wealth, power, success and popularity.

And because seeing others succeed, gives them feelings of inadequacy.

A narcissist will often try to downplay the accomplishments of others.

Number three, they hold a lot of grudges.

Narcissists tend to hold a lot of grudges against others because they hold themselves in such high regard.

So anyone who treats them with anything short of worship and unending praise is going to end up on their blacklist.

Now, a narcissist might not say anything at the moment, but they may already be seething with rage on the inside.

Number four, they are highly sensitive to criticism.

Remember what we said about narcissists having a superiority complex and holding themselves at an unrealistically high regard?

Well, another way this can manifest is by being overly sensitive to criticism, especially for introverted narcissists as introverts tend to internalize their feelings more than extroverts.

And while there are a number of reasons why someone would be highly sensitive to criticism, such as being highly sensitive person or struggling with low self-esteem.

For narcissists, it's because any criticism can damage their perfect idealized view of themselves.

They can't come to terms with the fact that they have flaws and make mistakes too.

Narcissists need and desire lots of admiration from others.

And covert narcissists might try to get this by putting on a false sense of modesty.

They put themselves down as a way of fishing for compliments and try to downplay their skills and successes in ways they don't really believe.

Number six, they have self-serving empathy.

A narcissist might seem like they're your friend, comforting you when you're down and cheering you on when you're happy.

However, narcissists are self-serving and masters of emotional manipulation.

They're only empathizing with you because they want others to see them as someone kind, caring and compassionate towards others.

For example, they give money and food to the homeless only when there is someone else there to admire them doing it.

They don't really care about other people except for what they think of them.

And number seven, they think no one understands them.

Last, but certainly not least, playing once again into their ideas of superiority and specialness, covert narcissists will often complain about no one else being able to understand them.

And while you might feel bad for them at first, what they really mean is that they see everyone else's beneath them and struggle with being so much better than those around them.

They will often remark about things like how they're so ahead of their time that no one else could ever appreciate their genius.

So, did anyone in particular come to mind?

Do you think someone you know might be a covert narcissist?

While we're definitely not saying that any of the signs we've talked about here, like feeling jealous of other people, feeling misunderstood or being sensitive to criticism automatically make you a narcissist.

It's important to understand that narcissism is so much more complex than what it's often made out to be.

Spotting a narcissist isn't always easy, especially when they're masquerading as someone who loves and cares about you.

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