It doesn't matter what we're looking at, it matters what we see.

So a very simplistic example of this:

We could all be looking at a hundred dollars.

Some of us think that's a lot of money.

Some of us think it's not.

Some of us will see that in terms of how many hours we'd have to work to get it.

Some see it as the potential to pay off a bill.

Whereas others see it as an opportunity to splurge.

It doesn't matter that we're all looking at the same physical object.

What matters is what we see from our perspective.

And this analogy goes for the spectrum of life's events.

So, psychologically, what happens to us is not as important as our reaction to it.

Yes.

What happens to us is not as important as our reaction.

You and I and a dozen other people could all go through the same awful, tragic, traumatic event, but our independent reactions will determine how much power it holds over us.

So the most empowering mindset that we could ever embolden ourselves with is to take 100% responsibility for our reactions

Now, I'm not saying, like deny your feelings or only reframe things in a positive way because it is important to let yourself feel to process and to honor whatever emotional reactivity you have in the moment.

But how these events shape our lives, shape our beliefs, our decisions, shape how we're going to integrate as we move forward, that is completely on us.

We have a choice.

We can be a person who blames other people for our unfavorable circumstances and bemoan, "why do these things always happen to me?" and stay in a victim mentality.

But I would argue that that is disempowering as fuck.

So why would we not choose to make the best out of a bad hand, to find the lesson in a negative event, or to see any failure as an opportunity to learn, grow, and as a necessary step on the way to success.

So Charles Oral Swindle says life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react, and he is right.

The most liberating thing we can realize is that we're fully in control of what we see.

There is so much freedom in that perspective, and if you have resistance to all of this, I would challenge you to ask yourself, "Why do you want to be a victim to circumstance?"

"Why do you not want to empower yourself?"

Now, cultivating this mindset shift obviously takes work, and for everyone it's a little different.

But in terms of my life, some helpful practices have been meditation, a gratitude practice, affirmation work.

I personally find mirror work to be incredibly powerful when you do it consistently.

And look! You'll feel stupid and that, like, everything coming out of your mouth will sound like a lie at first.

But if you have fun with it and you stick with it, you'll really see your self-concept transformed.

And we're only as good as what we practice consists, right?

So, if you've embedded a victim mentality into your life for as long as you can remember, shifting to an empowered one will take you a second.

Unlearning previous behaviors, beliefs, and mindsets will take a lot of conscious and intentional reprogramming.

But that work is the difference between making the most of your life and living out your highest and truest potential or allowing things that happen to you to dictate who you are, how far you'll go and how fulfilled you'll be.

I'm Anna Akana.