Just kidding. It was me, it was me years ago.

I'm just throwing this video into a wormhole to the past to warn myself about my doomed emotional affair.

If you're the other woman, let me tell you right now, RUN. Go, get out.

Look, I know that they're probably telling you, I'm gonna break up with them.

I'm just waiting for the right time, babe.

I wanna be with you and I will be, soon, eventually.

But surprise surprise to absolutely no one, except my past self.

Oh, girl, just a heads up.

Everything he said is a lie.

He's a liar.

What?

- No, I'm not. - No, I'm not.

- How are you doing that? - How are you doing that?

Anna, baby, your future self was totally wrong.

Oh my God, dude, stop. John Jacob Jingle Jingleheimer Schmidt. Pudding! Ahhhh!

I think the problem with being the other woman, the mistress, the side piece

is that we often overlook that these people are often manipulated.

They're given hope yum that they're not gonna be in this entangled affair for too long,

that they're... it's just in this transitory phase that's leading to a relationship.

And I know that's sort of a general statement, right?

Because I can't cover every single instance of affairs that have ever happened.

But in my personal experience, no one I know who has been, like, the other person wants to stay the other person and have been led to believe that commitment is on the table eventually.

And we often vilify the other woman way more than we do the person who was in the committed relationship.

It's sort of like...

For the counts of armed robbery, murder in the first-degree, obstruction of justice, and aggravated assault,

I sentence you to three months in jail.

For driving the getaway car, I sentence you to life in prison.

Wait, what?

Life in prison.

But I didn't even step foot in the bank. I didn't carry a gun.

I just sat in a car and listen to music.

Life in jail.

Gavel, gavel, gavel, gavel.

It's really hard to say that.

And even if they do leave their relationship, then what?

Do you think that's a great foundation for trust?

I think it sows the seeds of insecurity that this person is going to leave you for someone else eventually.

And look, I get it's hard when you have feelings for someone, when you love them and they're telling you that this deceit or betrayal that you're partaking in is just a means to an end.

It's really easy to justify that what you're doing is for love, that this murky phase will end soon.

But it very, very rarely ends the way that we think it will.

Hey, do you wanna go out for coffee?

- What? - What?

I mean, you seem like a really interesting person to talk to.

And I've been having a lot of relationship problems and I'd love to talk to you about them, grow close to you,

then dangle the hope of a relationship over you in order to partake in an emotional affair,

and then just tell everyone you have an unrequited crush behind your back.

Are you serious?

About you.

Push him into the portal. I'm gonna set it over a volcano.

Volcano...

So throw him into a volcano.