It's hard to gain objectivity and clarity when you're immersed in the sunken cost of a relationship and your love for another person.

There are eight signs that your relationship isn't working and that they either need tending to or should become a contender for actually breaking up.

One, you're always fighting.

Now, conflict is inevitable in any relationship.

And if your relationship is totally devoid of conflict, that's probably a sign of avoidance and rupture and repair is bound to happen in any relation you have.

But it's when you're fighting is disrespectful, when it's constant arguments that go around in circles, when resolution doesn't lead to more compassion or intimacy that you're fighting is likely dysfunctional.

Two, there's no intimacy — emotional, intellectual or physical.

When the desire for physical closeness starts to go away, that's often a red flag that you're in trouble.

Now, of course, you know, all relationships go in cycles, stressful factors can affect your sex life and your mood and all relationships have a natural ebb and flow.

Of course, there's also plenty of couples that survive without physical intimacy for whatever personal reasons they have.

But it's more so when one partner has unmet needs, or both partners are uninterested in each other sexually, that something can really be off.

Three, there's no trust.

Whether there's been a hit to your emotional, financial, or physical trust, it's really hard to come back from that without communication, commitment to change, and a lot of healing.

A very big rupture in trust can often be devastating to our relationship.

Four, jealousy is out of control.

When you or your partner is more often insecure, suspicious, controlling, this can become toxic fast.

And it's interesting because jealousy can either be a symptom of something else or a cause in itself.

Five, you don't spend much time together.

Are you spending meaningful, consistent, and high quality time together?

Are you creating experiences and memories?

Having important conversations?

A lack of these time can be a signal that there's something underlyingly wrong in the relationship.

Six, your emotional needs aren't being met even after you've communicated them.

Your partner is not responsible for your happiness or for meeting your every emotional need.

But if you've communicated a very specific need that's continuing to be unmet and there's no change, this will probably lead to resentment.

Seven, I would think this is a big one, you're considering cheating or you already have.

Fantasy? No, that's normal.

Okay, we're gonna have fantasies.

But when you're seriously considering cheating on your partner in a monogamous relationship or have already crossed that line, this is a huge problematic sign for your relationship.

And finally, eight, which is probably the biggest of them all, there's no possibility of growth.

Relationships are a mirror.

We should grow together, rising to the tough task of vulnerability through communication, intimacy, and openness.

And when your relationship is stagnant, when one or more partners refuse to change or grow for the better, yikes, R.I.P.

Now, every couple is different, right? There are caveats for every sign on this list, pinpointing what is not working is the first step.

And the important thing to consider is can you communicate these issues with your partner and are you both willing to make changes in order to help the relationship.

After you vocalized what isn't working, are you both tackling these problems together?

I'd highly recommend couples counseling to have a third party mediator there, to help you navigate and resolve your issues.

Like, fights are always more productive when you have a referee, which leads me into thinking our sponsor for today, BetterHelp.

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