You know, growing up AFAB — assigned female at birth, also a fabulous person —

I was constantly told that my Prince Charming was on the horizon.

But I always found myself in my adolescence watching romantic stories with like, a more open mind.

I think I'd want to marry the prince from Beauty and the Beast.

No way! The prince from Cinderella is way cuter!

I'm sorry, you're both wrong.

The princess sitting on that pea is bangin'!

Man, what I would give to be one of those mattresses.

The best part of being bisexual — everybody's hot.

He's hot. She's hot. They're hot.

And of course by hot, I mean beautiful human beings whose inner beauty and outer aesthetic transcend the shabby constructs of gender.

Everywhere you look, there is prince charming over there. There is princess charming over here.

Your Majesty, you're looking good.

And I think, you know, anyone dating in general, but also dating in LA can agree, love is hard enough as it is,

But when you're bi, sometimes it feels like love is maybe just around the corner.

And I can only imagine the field day that Cupid had when we came around.

Baby Angel Michelle, I've noticed that you're hitting one person with a lot of arrows.

Well, Baby Angel Boss, she's a hopeful romantic trying to find her right match, but she's still a bit picky.

It's feeling impossible to find her a fitting suitor.

Baby Angel Melissa, would you like to take over the case?

I'd love to, Baby Angels. Thank you. This is the perfect opportunity to introduce my brand new arrow.

Ohhhh!

What does it do?

Who does it hit?

Anyone.

Ohhhhh!

Honestly, bisexuality erasure has been so prevalent since the beginning of time. In media, in literature, hell, even in caveman drawings.

My Paleolithic Connections! Hey!

We can't let the men find out. They'll drag us out of this cave by our hair if they do.

And I can't recall a single time in my youth when I really saw my sexuality represented in anything that I saw or read.

And I always imagine how different I'd be if like, Romeo and Juliet had a Rosie.

Oh Romeo! Oh Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Oh, connect with me, bright angel! For thou art as fire as a real fire emoji.

Oh sweet Romeo, thou art thyself, not a Montague.

For what is in a name? A rose emoji called by any other emoji would still just be a collection of pixels.

Hark, Juliet! Hark!

Fear not, fair maiden! For it is I, the Princess of your dreams!

Oh!

Why harvest an eggplant emoji, when thou'st could have a rose?

Whoa, Juliet, match not with this heathen.

She doesn't seek true love, she merely seeks a casual midsummer's day.

Oh!

Like a snake emoji, he slithers. Like a serpent emoji, he lies.

I long to send novel paragraph texts.

Please, let us banter in this digital space until we meet.

Oh, sweet Romeo!

Oh, sweet Rosie!

I heart... both of thee.

Or if Snow White were bisexual.

Do you think it's a red flag if I open up about my trauma?

It's certainly seemed to scare Prince Gus away.

Gee, breaking the ice with the fact that your stepmom tried to kill you, first with a hitman and then with poison fruit?

Yeah, I can see why that first date didn't end up happily ever after.

Yeah, but Princesses love that kind of intimacy.

They're cooped up in castles all day, just yearning emotional connection.

I don't know, Snow. I think someone has to earn the rights to your story regardless of royal designation.

Show me the picture.

Oh! Here.

Oooooh! Yeah, I say go for it!

You know what they say about two Princesses.

What?

They bring a horse carriage to the second date.

And I wonder if bisexuality wasn't so erased in the media and if fables weren't so heteronormative, if I would've come out sooner than 28,

'cause I spent so much of my life unraveling internalized bi-phobia and homophobia ingrained in me by society. So that's three decades.

I spent focused on Prince Charmings and not dating the Princess Charmings or Eminences of my dreams.

Or you know, being the white knight of my own.

And if I had seen love represented the way I truly believe it to be, that we fall in love with people, not gender.

That a binary system only confines us to outdated ideas of identity.

And that being bisexual is not a gateway or a transitory phase, but an acknowledgement of the fact that love conquers all.

How many less frogs would I have kissed?

I'm Anna Akana and thank you to the Patrons who supported today's video and to Tinder for sponsoring today's episode.

Make some more bi content. Bye!