My name's Chuck, and I'm kind of an introvert.

I just got out of bed 5 minutes ago, though I did wake up at 4:30 and was just lying there for several hours, thinking about how my life was a hopeless mess.

Anyway, let's do a roommate check.

Okay, it sounds like my roommate has left for work for the day.

So, it's safe for me to leave the bedroom.

I work remotely, which is great, 'cause I'm so much more productive.

The first thing I need to do for work today is reply to an email, so, I'm just gonna get that out of the way real quick.

Okay, well, now I've written half of the email, so, I think I deserve a little TV break, you know what I'm saying?

Maybe just like one episode of the... the "Squid Games", like, I... I don't know, it's supposed to be good.

Okay, wow, so I just finished watching the entirety of "Squid Games".

Okay, the email is now, like, 55% done.

I'm back in my bedroom because my roommate decided to come home in the middle of the day, for some reason.

I know he pays rent here just like I do, but does he have to be here so much?

Okay, finally, I think he's gone.

Oh, hey, Chuck, I wondered if you were here.

Oh, hey, man.

What's up?

So, being caught off guard in that moment, I accidentally agreed to go out to my roommate's birthday dinner.

Well, technically, it's a joint dinner for me, too, because today is also my birthday, but they don't know that.

Okay, well, I guess I'll head out now, and I'll bring the camera so you guys can meet my friends.

Yay.

So, I did not go to the dinner.

I said I had a "family emergency", whatever that even means.

You know, I think I'm just gonna order Postmates, have a quiet night in, and watch "Squid Games" again⏤not sponsored.

Okay, well, it's 10 p.m. right now; I'm still working on getting this email finished.

I've been reading it, like, over and over and over again to make sure that I don't say anything awkward, you know what I mean?

Postmates has arrived.

I'm probably, like, their number one customer, you know, it's nice to have people who just drop something off at the front door.

You don't have to talk to anybody.

- Hello? - Are you Chuck?

Yeah.

Chuck, I'm the CEO of Postmates.

What⏤is this... What?

I just wanna congratulate you on your 1 millionth order; you're our number one customer!

Oh, that's, uh... sobering.

And I understand you're also the birthday boy.

How could you possibly know that?

- You know what that means? - Please don't.

♪ Happy, happy, happy birthday; it's your happy happy birthday ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you; I'm the CEO of Postmates ♪

♪ Hap... happy, happy birthday ♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday; happy, happy birthday, hey!♪ - Bruh, is it your birthday?

- This is the worst day of my life. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you; happy, happy birthday, I'm the CEO of Postmates.♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪