Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles So the purpose of learning a language is to be able to communicate. You may be able to speak in 9 or 10 languages, but if you don't know basic communication skills, then what's the point? So, this is why, maybe in the near future, I'm gonna be, um, sharing more videos about communication tips and all of that. If you guys like it, please let me know in the comments or with the like button so that I know that I can make more videos like this. And one important component of communicating, especially with strangers, is small talks. So, before you turn off the video because you just hate small talks, especially if you're introverts, think about it: You cannot really get into deep conversations with someone without going through the small talk first. So, let's get into it. 1. Icebreakers One, I usually start with an icebreaker. So, icebreakers could be anything. It could be compliments, it could be a common ground, it could be a joke or anything like that. So, just whatever it is that you want. For me, personally, I would not break the ice with introducing myself because it's like... Imagine coming up to a stranger and just let them know, "Hi! I'm Naila". I mean, it works for some people, but for me, I just don't really do that. So, my favorite icebreaker to do is to come up with a common ground. So, to make an instant connection with strangers, with people you just met⏤you want to start with something in common between you both. So, let's say you are at a networking event or a seminar, what is the one thing that you both have in common? Well, both of you are right there attending the event. So, that's what you would have in common; that's what you can start with. So, some phrases that you can say would be: "Wow, the speaker was really funny, don't you think?" "Wow, that was the first time that I learned about X and X; what did you think?" Those are some questions that you can ask, but you can also state some observations. "Wow, the room is a little cold; do you feel that?" "Wow, the decoration of this venue is just amazing." "Ugh! Everybody here is dressed so casually or so formally; I feel underdressed or overdressed." And, um maybe someone next to you would also relate to this kind of, um, difficulty, you know? So, find a common ground because that is the easiest way for people to feel connected to you. (2. Asking Questions) Then, I usually proceed to asking questions. So, when I ask questions, I make sure that I ask open-ended questions instead of closed questions. So, close questions are the ones that would end with "yes" and, um, or "no". It's like, "Is this is your first time here?" "Yes." I mean those are⏤it's actually a good question to ask, "Is this your first time here?" But, normally, I like to ask questions that could lead to, like, longer conversations. Like, "Oh, what brought you here?" "How did you find this event?" "So, how long have you been in this industry?" In design and finance and education⏤whatever. "What did you think about the presentation? He was a little dull, don't you think?" "She was very funny; what do you think about that?" So, stuff like that. But one thing to note is that I make sure not to ask too many questions because some people do get, um, a little annoyed by that. I have personally experienced it; when people ask so many questions, I'm like, "Just leave me alone." So, what I recommend you doing is that I would, let's say, ask three questions, four questions, max. And if I see⏤if I can read their body language and they're just not interested in talking to me, they don't ask me questions back, then, I just cut the conversation there. So, learn to read the room and learn to read body language of people; learn to feel it. 3. Compliments Third, I also like to add sprinkles of compliments. So, I... I mentioned compliments a little earlier to use as ice breakers⏤that's actually really good. But also make a note that, when you give compliments to someone, make it genuine. Don't compliment to kiss ass; just compliment [on] things that you genuinely like about them. Like, let's say if it was a language exchange where you both are practicing your language skills or English or something, tell them, "Wow! your French sounds really good!" "Wow, your English⏤I love your accent! How did you learn that?" "Wow, you sound so confident!" Or maybe you can also throw them some compliments about, you know, like, more surface-level things, like, "Wow, your hair is so pretty!" "I love your outfit!" Like, "Nice shoes! You have a good taste." So, these things, kind of, like, stroke people's egos and then that they, um⏤that lowers their defenses. But don't overdo the compliments. If you give, like, one or two compliments, it's, um, it's enough. More than that, it's just a bit like, "Okay, what does she want?" And then, after I have a little bit of conversation, (4. Introduce Myself) that's when I will introduce myself. Because I only introduce myself if I know that, "Okay, this person is cool; I think I would like to talk a little bit more with her or with him then." So, I'm gonna tell them my name. "I am Naila, by the way; what about you?" Then you have all of these questions, "Oh, where are you from?" Like, "Oh, do you live here? How long have you lived here?"⏤this and that. So, a lot of the basic introductory questions, that's when I would throw them all here. (5. Listening Skills) The last but not least is listening skills. This is by far the most underrated but the most important skill to have when you're communicating. To be a good communicator, you have to learn how to listen. One of my biggest pet peeves whenever I meet new people or just in a group of people and we're having a conversation are people who don't listen. I have very little tolerance for people who just don't value what I have to say. And normally, when I can read that they're not listening to me, that's when I just cut the conversation short and leave them. I would consider good listeners to be people who show interest in what I have to say. For people who ask questions, people who validate my point, people who show empathy, people who maintain eye contact. So, when you are talking and then people ask you questions, it mean⏤it means that they're listening to you; they want to know a little bit more. And people who show validation and empathy⏤it means that they understand your point; they have been where you've been before. And maintain eye contact⏤of course, this differs across cultures⏤ But, normally, whenever I speak with someone and I can see that their eyes are wandering around; they're looking at the ceiling or they're kind of, like, looking at people going round around, that's when it gives me the idea that this person isn't one hundred percent listening to me, and that's when I also will cut the conversation short. So, definitely build those listening skills⏤I think this is something that I would like to talk about in the future videos. Let me know if you want to hear them from me and⏤yeah, that is it, actually. Thank you so much, guys, for listening in today's video. I will see you next week in another, and until then, have a good day and bye-bye.