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  • So the purpose of learning a language is to be able to communicate.

  • You may be able to speak in 9 or 10 languages, but if you don't know basic communication skills, then what's the point?

  • So, this is why, maybe in the near future, I'm gonna be, um, sharing more videos about communication tips and all of that.

  • If you guys like it, please let me know in the comments or with the like button so that I know that I can make more videos like this.

  • And one important component of communicating, especially with strangers, is small talks.

  • So, before you turn off the video because you just hate small talks, especially if you're introverts, think about it:

  • You cannot really get into deep conversations with someone without going through the small talk first.

  • So, let's get into it.

  • 1. Icebreakers

  • One, I usually start with an icebreaker.

  • So, icebreakers could be anything.

  • It could be compliments, it could be a common ground, it could be a joke or anything like that.

  • So, just whatever it is that you want.

  • For me, personally, I would not break the ice with introducing myself because it's like...

  • Imagine coming up to a stranger and just let them know, "Hi! I'm Naila".

  • I mean, it works for some people, but for me, I just don't really do that.

  • So, my favorite icebreaker to do is to come up with a common ground.

  • So, to make an instant connection with strangers, with people you just metyou want to start with something in common between you both.

  • So, let's say you are at a networking event or a seminar, what is the one thing that you both have in common?

  • Well, both of you are right there attending the event.

  • So, that's what you would have in common; that's what you can start with.

  • So, some phrases that you can say would be:

  • "Wow, the speaker was really funny, don't you think?"

  • "Wow, that was the first time that I learned about X and X; what did you think?"

  • Those are some questions that you can ask, but you can also state some observations.

  • "Wow, the room is a little cold; do you feel that?"

  • "Wow, the decoration of this venue is just amazing."

  • "Ugh! Everybody here is dressed so casually or so formally; I feel underdressed or overdressed."

  • And, um maybe someone next to you would also relate to this kind of, um, difficulty, you know?

  • So, find a common ground because that is the easiest way for people to feel connected to you.

  • (2. Asking Questions) Then, I usually proceed to asking questions.

  • So, when I ask questions, I make sure that I ask open-ended questions instead of closed questions.

  • So, close questions are the ones that would end with "yes" and, um, or "no".

  • It's like, "Is this is your first time here?" "Yes."

  • I mean those areit's actually a good question to ask, "Is this your first time here?"

  • But, normally, I like to ask questions that could lead to, like, longer conversations.

  • Like, "Oh, what brought you here?"

  • "How did you find this event?"

  • "So, how long have you been in this industry?" In design and finance and educationwhatever.

  • "What did you think about the presentation? He was a little dull, don't you think?"

  • "She was very funny; what do you think about that?"

  • So, stuff like that.

  • But one thing to note is that I make sure not to ask too many questions because some people do get, um, a little annoyed by that.

  • I have personally experienced it; when people ask so many questions, I'm like, "Just leave me alone."

  • So, what I recommend you doing is that I would, let's say, ask three questions, four questions, max.

  • And if I seeif I can read their body language and they're just not interested in talking to me, they don't ask me questions back,

  • then, I just cut the conversation there.

  • So, learn to read the room and learn to read body language of people; learn to feel it.

  • 3. Compliments

  • Third, I also like to add sprinkles of compliments.

  • So, I... I mentioned compliments a little earlier to use as ice breakersthat's actually really good.

  • But also make a note that, when you give compliments to someone, make it genuine.

  • Don't compliment to kiss ass; just compliment [on] things that you genuinely like about them.

  • Like, let's say if it was a language exchange where you both are practicing your language skills or English or something,

  • tell them, "Wow! your French sounds really good!"

  • "Wow, your English⏤I love your accent! How did you learn that?"

  • "Wow, you sound so confident!"

  • Or maybe you can also throw them some compliments about, you know, like, more surface-level things, like,

  • "Wow, your hair is so pretty!"

  • "I love your outfit!"

  • Like, "Nice shoes! You have a good taste."

  • So, these things, kind of, like, stroke people's egos and then that they, umthat lowers their defenses.

  • But don't overdo the compliments.

  • If you give, like, one or two compliments, it's, um, it's enough.

  • More than that, it's just a bit like, "Okay, what does she want?"

  • And then, after I have a little bit of conversation,

  • (4. Introduce Myself) that's when I will introduce myself.

  • Because I only introduce myself if I know that, "Okay, this person is cool; I think I would like to talk a little bit more with her or with him then."

  • So, I'm gonna tell them my name.

  • "I am Naila, by the way; what about you?"

  • Then you have all of these questions, "Oh, where are you from?"

  • Like, "Oh, do you live here? How long have you lived here?"⏤this and that.

  • So, a lot of the basic introductory questions, that's when I would throw them all here.

  • (5. Listening Skills) The last but not least is listening skills.

  • This is by far the most underrated but the most important skill to have when you're communicating.

  • To be a good communicator, you have to learn how to listen.

  • One of my biggest pet peeves whenever I meet new people or just in a group of people and we're having a conversation are people who don't listen.

  • I have very little tolerance for people who just don't value what I have to say.

  • And normally, when I can read that they're not listening to me, that's when I just cut the conversation short and leave them.

  • I would consider good listeners to be people who show interest in what I have to say.

  • For people who ask questions, people who validate my point, people who show empathy, people who maintain eye contact.

  • So, when you are talking and then people ask you questions, it meanit means that they're listening to you; they want to know a little bit more.

  • And people who show validation and empathyit means that they understand your point; they have been where you've been before.

  • And maintain eye contactof course, this differs across cultures

  • But, normally, whenever I speak with someone and I can see that their eyes are wandering around; they're looking at the ceiling or they're kind of, like, looking at people going round around,

  • that's when it gives me the idea that this person isn't one hundred percent listening to me, and that's when I also will cut the conversation short.

  • So, definitely build those listening skills⏤I think this is something that I would like to talk about in the future videos.

  • Let me know if you want to hear them from me andyeah, that is it, actually.

  • Thank you so much, guys, for listening in today's video.

  • I will see you next week in another, and until then, have a good day and bye-bye.

So the purpose of learning a language is to be able to communicate.

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A2 US people listening conversation compliment common ground common

SMALL TALKS Phrases in English.. How do we do it?

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    たらこ posted on 2022/08/27
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