I was in spain natalia, I love you visiting a friend and she was talking to her father on the phone and all I heard was bala bala bala bala bala bala bala bala and I knew exactly what she was talking about, she was saying okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

And just from the tone and knowing what that word meant, I knew the conversation without airing another word.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I just said stop saying okay, okay, the last video I did say stop saying very, I literally said to people it is a very good word I even said very and people were you said stop saying very but didn't you use it?

And I said it's a great word, we use it.

The difference between myself and a person learning english or english speakers and a person learning english is we have a wider vocabulary so we can express ourselves differently and I'm trying to introduce something for you to have greater clarification, that means being clear and when you're speaking and give you tools to do that and then if you want to say okay all the time please do.

But you might notice when you say things in a different variety, you will get different information from the people you're speaking to and one of the things I will teach you today is something many english speakers complain about that when foreign speakers learn, they say okay at this situation and they're like because I was thinking because in english we don't usually do it this way.

I'll get there, you'll know exactly what it is.

And if you're an english speaker watching this, you go, Yeah, all the all the freaking to every single time, you know what I mean?

Anyway, so I said stop saying okay.

And I wrote to, okay, you can write both.

Listen carefully.

If you're doing a formal paper or something professional, please use this.

Okay.

That's why I wrote it in blue.

But if you're texting a friend or something and it's casual, you can use this.

Okay, Okay, okay, formal informal.

Hence read think carefully.

If you want to be safe, let's write this.

Okay, All the time.

You'll never have a problem.

Okay, so why is okay popular?

I'll start with that because some of you will be like, well if we're not supposed to say it, why Dada It is a very good word.

Okay, it's an exclamation.

Okay, I'm exclaiming.

Yeah.

Okay, sounds good asking for permission.

Right?

Is it okay if I do this?

Are you okay with that asking and giving permission sufficient, sufficient.

But not great.

When I studied logic when I was in university was like something is sufficient but it doesn't have enough sufficient.

When you're saying this, it means it's I was gonna say it's okay, it's good, it works, but it's not the best.

How's the food?

Okay?

It's okay, I can eat it.

I won't die.

It doesn't mean I'm enjoying it describing oneself.

How are you?

And this is the one I was talking about.

Yeah.

Mhm.

Foreign people When somebody says to you, how are you?

Please don't say okay.

In our brains.

Especially if a male is talking to your female, Hey baby, how you doing?

I'm okay.

What's wrong?

Something's wrong.

Something's wrong.

We don't take it.

As in it's good.

We're like, something's wrong.

Usually if I can tell you right now, if you come to me and you know, how are you?

I'm okay.

I'm not okay.

I am not okay.

But I don't want to talk about it.

So please don't say that.

I will teach you other things to say.

But this is the one that gets if you see people look funny when you say when and I have a good friend, she does this.

She'll go, I'm okay with a big smile when I see her personally, I get it.

But when I don't feel text, I'm okay and I'm like, did I do something wrong?

Is something wrong?

What's going on?

You know, I'm okay.

I'm like, you don't get it.

That's not how we work.

You have to say I'm good, I'm great and you want the truth.

We don't care if you're good or you're great.

Just don't say okay, okay, okay.

And I did that on purpose for all those people?

He said 10 times?

And when you're agreeing with someone, you're like, ok, okay.

Yeah, okay, you're agreeing you're letting the conversation continue.

So now that I've said why it's popular, why don't we talk about why you should stop that saying?

Stop saying, okay.

Why should stop saying?

Okay, number one, it lacks strong commitment.

If you've ever asked somebody to do something with you, like, hey, you wanna go for dinner and they're like, okay, do you feel like they want to go?

You don't feel like they want to go?

So what you might want to say is use this instead?

For sure.

Yeah, for sure.

Yes, yes.

Why don't you just say yes, Absolutely.

All right.

Or this one?

Why not?

It sounds brilliant.

Why not?

Because I'm so excited.

Why not?

I can't think of anything better to do.

This is better than saying, okay, now it lacks emotion.

How was the meal?

It's okay.

This is black and white and not black.

It's gray.

It's okay.

Like I told you it's like a great day.

It's not really cold.

It's not wet.

It's not really much of a sudden, it's okay.

It's a day you're alive.

That's about it.

So we can turn around and say, or I can say it's you relax motion if I want to talk about my day.

Sorry, I can say it's great, fantastic.

It's interesting or brilliant.

And you go, why would you write interesting?

Well, if you said how's your day and I go interesting Now you're gonna, whoa, what makes it interesting?

Well I just got this great job offer or or this person over.

It draws conversation by point about not using Okay.

Is this when you dispense with the word or not?

Use the word Okay?

You open up more communication because your choice of words leads people to want to investigate and no more.

When you say okay, it's like being something great.

There's nothing more to it.

No conversation is the death of your conversation or language and you're here to learn how to speak more with others communicate better.

This is what we're doing here.

So now you start seeing how these words and even a word like interesting can draw out more conversation.

Cool.

Especially if you say interesting, they're gonna go, why is that person saying this?

Now?

That's it doesn't demonstrate you really want authentic permission.

If you say is it okay if I take your book it means I'm just asking you because I've been told I have to ask you.

But if I say, hey, are you sure?

It's okay if I take your book I'm saying are you sure I want to confirm with you?

Another thing you can say, is it alright?

If because it's right means correct.

Right.

Is it alright if I take off next monday, I'm asking I'm genuinely asking you for your permission.

I want authentic means real.

You're real permission because I wanted to know it's okay with you.

I know I want it, but I want to know you're okay with it and say okay again, I want to know that you're happy with this as well.

I really care.

Okay, now here not giving authentic permission.

Do you mind if I take your car?

Okay?

Do you really think I want to say?

It's like it's like I'm being forced to do it.

But if I say to you, yeah, go ahead.

Of course.

Yeah, no problem.

I'm totally into it.

I'm not just giving non authentic permission.

I'm saying I'm really believing this.

I'm happy to do this with you or for you.

And the last one I just told you is this one here.

It's when you can create unnecessary concern.

If I say how are you?

And you're like, okay, okay, I'm gonna freak out.

Dude, what's wrong with you?

He said I'm great.

I'm good.

I'm well, once again, nobody cares.

We don't.

It's like when you say how are you, you say it because it's a social convention.

That's what we do when we meet each other.

Hey, how are you?

I'm good.

Me too.

I'm dying.

But I'm not gonna tell you that because we're just crossing each other on the street, right?

But when you say, okay, that might stop the person to go because that's not a usual response.

Now I'm gonna give you one little thing about this and I kind of lied when somebody says how are you If for instance, if I was walking, I fell on the ground, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

That's alright.

That's okay.

That's what you're saying.

I'm not injured, I'm not damaged.

In that case it's okay.

But if someone is saying how are you like today?

Because I haven't seen you totally different.

So if it's just hey tom, how are you?

I'm good man.

Don't say I'm okay.

But if tom falls, you go tom tom are you okay?

Yeah, I'm ok.

It's all good.

Fine note the difference because you'll say, oh well that's it.

If you have an accident, I'm okay, it's fine, perfectly fine and acceptable.

You probably wouldn't say I'm great.

I'm great.

That wouldn't make sense.

I'd be like he's he's hurt seriously.

Okay.

So I hope this lesson has given you an expansion in your vocabulary.

I know there's some repetition but it's not the repetition.

That's important.

Is your understanding of why we're saying it.

We want to give a stronger commitment to what we're saying.

We want to give more emotion.

We want to give a greater demonstration.

I'm giving permission or I really care when I'm asking for permission.

I really care how you feel and I don't want to create unnecessary concern or create a situation that didn't need to happen because of lack of communication.

Cool, So use these, you'll get better communication, but why don't we test that right away and I'm gonna go back off this little click trick you.

Yeah that's not the click, I'll click, we'll go to the board, I'll teach you a couple other things you might want to know about the word okay.

And a quick quiz to make sure you understand how to use this and use it in your next conversation right away.

Cool.

So you have no idea how much I wanted to say okay but I'm doing this lesson.

So so here's our quiz to start off with and then I'm going to move to your homework and extra information first.

Win the first one is if someone says to you, how is your day how should you respond interesting or absolutely interesting?

Remember what I said?

If you say interesting, it says something happened that was not normal.

So the other person now wants to talk to you and we've created a conversation that they'll go what happened?

Right and that's what you want more conversation.

How about # 2?

Do you want to see a movie later?

Why not?

Why not?

It's like well why not?

There's I can't think of anything better to do.

If you say I'm good, you could say I'm good but don't if I say hey you wanna see a movie you're like I'm good means no no not with you.

I'm good, no thanks, no thank you.

So I just taught you something that has nothing to do with okay if you want to be kind of mean?

And someone says so you wanna you wanna go out and be my my girlfriend?

I'm good thanks.

That means no.

So clearly you want to say why not to show enthusiasm?

This is the emotion part we're talking about next.

Can I leave your at work?