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I am the one who writes your name in black marker on your Starbucks cup.
I probably write around 500 customers' names everyday.
Recently it's comes to my attention that people aren't always satisfied with the names I've written.
In fact, many people say the name are often wildly inaccurate.
They wanna know why I can never get it right.
Allow me to explain why, I am fucking with you.
I didn't mishear your name, I'm deliberately misspelling your name to confuse and annoy you.
It's the best part of my job, and I will never stop.
Let me assure you, everyone in the world knows how to spell Jessica, literally everyone.
I decided to write "Gessica" on your cup to play with your emotions in a shrewd and calculating way.
And it worked.
You posted about it on Instagram, Twitter and Vine.
So sorry you didn't go viral.
I'm in your head now.
When I hear customer's name, I immediately think, how could I spell this name in an obnoxious way that will infuriate and perplex them.
For example, instead of "Chris", writing "Khris".
It's a small change but people still hate it.
Other times I like to really fuck with people by spelling their name in a way that barely contains any of the correct letters.
Like a time I spell Nykal instead of Michael.
Oh man! That guy almost had a mental breakdown when he saw that.
(What's wrong?)
Poor poor Nykal.
But every once in a while, I'll spell your name correctly.
You'll pick up your order, and be delighted to discover that your name is spelled right today.
You'll think things might be looking up for you.
That's what I want you to think.
I am lulling you into a false sense of security.
This isn't over. It's never over.
I am sorry I didn't catch your name.
John. Thanks John.
Hi I am Paul ,tell me your best Starbucks story in the comments and I'll feature my favorite in an upcoming videos.
Subscribe and thumbs up if you like it.
And I'm on Instagram and Twitter but who gives a fuck.
Specially thanks to Starbucks for having a sense of humor about this and thank you for watching.
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Why Starbucks Spells Your Name Wrong - Agitators Ep. 1

133141 Folder Collection
Sunny Hsu published on January 26, 2019    Sunny Hsu translated    Bruce Lan reviewed
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