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  • you know this.

  • This might be a silly question, but what do you do with the beached?

  • Well that's a question.

  • The small Canadian town of Trout River is trying to figure out right now.

  • An 81 ft beast of a whale washed up on one of its rocky beaches last week.

  • As food in its humongous stomach begins to rot, decompose bacteria proliferates.

  • And that bacteria in turn begins to feed on the whales, innards microbes called anaerobic method.

  • Again, start to break down molecules and release methane gas into the sealed environment, blowing that fucker up like a birthday party balloon wait too long and the whale might explode.

  • It's a cool concept, but you don't really want that if your trout River bringing an unassuming gentleman to sort of poke it with a stick and you're gonna get the same results.

  • So what do you do?

  • Well, you really have two options.

  • You can either airlift the dead whale back into the ocean so that its carcass can feed an entire ecosystem of life for decades.

  • Side note Radio lab has an awesome animation of how this process works and you can find that link in the description or you can bury the whale somewhere on land.

  • Both options are going to be really expensive and that's public money, A.

  • K.

  • A.

  • Tax money, a.

  • K.

  • A.

  • Your money.

  • But if you do nothing, the methane gas along with the ammonia and hydrogen sulfide are going to get really smelly, really fast.

  • Side note ammonia is the one that smells like cat piss and hydrogen sulfide is the one that smells like rotten eggs And methane is the Fart one.

  • You're gonna have to do something trout river and and before you say anything because I can, I can see the look in your eyes.

  • Don't think about blowing it up.

  • We tried that already in Portland Oregon in 1970s, it had to be said the Oregon State Highway Division not only had a whale of a problem on its hands, it had a stinking whale of a problem thudding noises that you hear.

  • That's thousands of pieces of whale carcass showering unsuspecting passersby in what I'm sure still remains the most traumatic experience of their lives apart.

  • Car over a quarter of a mile from the blast site was the target of one large chunk.

  • The passenger compartment literally smashed, fortunately no human was hit as badly as the car.

  • However, everyone on the scene was covered with small particles of dead whales.

  • It just goes to show you can't blow up all your problems.

  • Sometimes you have to hunker down and invent the portal gun.

  • Are we, are we working on this about sucking time?

  • You may have noticed that sometimes I disappear for a few weeks or months without any message of where I've gone and I'm sorry about that, but I don't know if you're like this, but I can't seem to stop jumping around to different projects like I did this sketch comedy channel called Dick soak, which you can check out or the electronic ep new disguises, which you listen to on Spotify.

  • Uh, But I'm back for the Nerd writer for a little bit.

  • Hopefully, I'm gonna try to separate it into like season, so six or 10 episodes.

  • Um, and hopefully this is the beginning of a stretch.

  • Um, so thanks for sticking with me.

  • Uh, and I will see you next time.

you know this.

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