you three keys on small talk. And if your case... in case you're wondering

what small talk is, it's something all of us do. It doesn't matter if we're

meeting strangers or even people we know. But as an English student or

someone studying English, I would like to give you a reason why small talk is

especially important for you. Okay? So, let's go to the board and I'll explain

why. So, what is "small talk"? Okay? There are three things I would say. One

is a way to meet someone new. Right? So, you... you're standing by a bus, and you

ask somebody: "So, how's the weather?" You're engaging in a conversation to

meet someone. You can both stand silent; but this way, you get to meet new

people. And that's just fun in itself. Right? Makes life more interesting to

know different types of people. Number two: Build a relationship. Okay, so,

you're not meeting someone at the bus stop; you've met them a few times. Well,

if you just say: "How's the weather?" and walk away, you'll never have... have

a relationship. Meeting is the first part; you meet someone, but how do we

build that relationship? Well, you take small talk, and it helps lead to doors

where we get to know things that are important to people to make for deeper

conversation, more interesting conversation. So, if you were thinking

small talk is more like an appetizer and a meal. If you're ordering steak and

french fries, you have a salad first, and you eat the salad get... to get

ready for something bigger. Because maybe at that moment, you just want to

sit and relax, and you don't want to just put steak, and potato, and beer in

your mouth. And you want to engage in a small conversation with people. So,

"small talk" is that way to build to the next meal or the main course. A deeper

relationship. Right? Because once you've got, you know... "How's the weather?"

and someone says: "I like... I don't like it because it's cold." And the

other person says: "I like it, because cold means I can ski." You can say: "You

like to ski? That's cool. How long have you been...?" See how that works? And

the third reason we do small talk: Because it's just fun. It's fun to go

out there and engage in the world and other people. Okay?

So, this is what "small talk" is, but how does it help you as a student?

Right? Why is it important for you, as a student? Well, here are three reasons

why. Number one: Practice, practice, practice. Your pronunciation sucks.

Sorry. I'm just kidding. But you need pronunciation skills. Practice. When

you're talking to someone, small talk is short... a short enough period of time

that you can practice things; drills, because you'll say them again and again.

"How is the weather?" You know. "Hot enough for ya?" — things like that. So,

you get to work on pronunciation. And it's short enough that you can take the

lesson you learn, take it home with you to practice. Also, your listening

skills. Small talk isn't you just talking, like me, on the video — I do

all the talking. You actually have to listen, like you are now. And you're

going to find out very quickly that I don't care how many English speakers you

meet — none of them sound the same. We all have different backgrounds and, you

know... histories. Some people were born in Canada, some in the United States;

some in the South of United States. You know what I'm saying? They're not born

where you think they're born, so it's kind of hard to understand what they're

saying to you, boy. Pay attention when I'm talking to you. You go: "What did he

just say?" Well, what he said to you was: "Pay attention, please, because

he's speaking English. Don't you understand?" All English — all

different. So, every person you interact with is giving you something. Okay? So,

listening skills you get to work on.

Next. So many students ask: "How can I stop translating in my head? I can't

stop it." Engage in small talk — that means participate in small talk. If it's

really small talk, it's very quick. You don't have time to translate everything.

By the time you're done, the conversation's done. So, it's a good way

to stop you from translating because the real conversation is too fast. If I know

you don't speak English, I'm going to slow down and that's not what you want.

Like: "Hot enough for ya?" They don't know you speak English. And you go:

"Yes, it's very hot. Why you ask?" They go: "Oh, because it's hot outside. Hot."

And they change the way they're speaking. But if you get that practice

with the pronunciation and listening skills, and enough small talk — you can

respond quickly and they will keep speaking quickly. And that is great. The

final thing is: You get new friends. Like I told you, it's fun. But these

friends will keep you practicing, which is where we go back to number one. The

initial practice of small... small talk, lets you know: "How well am I doing?"

It's like a test. Then you get to solve that problem of translation, which slows

down your conversation. And, finally, you get a new friend who's going to help

you practice even more. Small talk. Small... wonder we don't do it more.

Anyway, let's go to the board so I can give you a bit more of this particular

lesson. Actually, will give you things you can work on to improve your small

talk, so we can get this all working for you. Okay? (snaps fingers)

So, what are my three keys to small talk? You must be wondering. Well, I'm

going to give them to you right here. One. Given them to you right now. Give

them to you right now. One, two, and three — they look like slices of pie.

All right? So, the first key to getting the benefits of small talk has nothing

to do with the small talk itself; it's with your mental state, or your brain,

your mind. Okay? So, my first key is: First, don't feel like your English

isn't good enough. Quite frankly, English people's English isn't good

enougher. And I said: "enougher" because I've heard people say things on

television and on the street that's, quite frankly, really bad English; where

people don't use the "ly" when they're speaking with an adverb for things. They

don't say: "I speak slowly", they go: "I speak slow". And they're okay with it,

and there's no correction. So, don't feel your English isn't good enough.

You're learning — that's part of the process. So, by changing this mental

part will get you into the small talk. Second, most people are nervous about

starting conversations, whether this is in English, or if this is in Spanish,

Mandarin Japanese — it doesn't matter. For the average person talking to

another human being, when there is no reason to do so, is a bit nervous.

Because you don't know if they're in a good mood or a bad mood; they're going

to be happy or angry, or walk away from you, make you feel stupid. So, it's not

about the language; the other person is nervous as well. And sometimes, as

something you say that's funny or interesting, makes them go: "Wow", and

you've changed everything. Cool? All right. The third thing we have here, in

our third... or our first key is... here's where I'm going to start talking

about, you know... moving into the small talk: Have a plan. So, I know this seems

like I'm talking about the small talk, but I'm saying: In order to not worry

about your English being not good enough, and overcoming being nervous —

have three objectives for your small talk. Because if you know you just

want... okay, to small talk, you want to have someone talk to you for one minute,

and that's it. After the minute's done, you're finished. Once you hit that

objective, you'll feel really good. And you'll feel confident and relaxed; the

other person can relax. Right? Or maybe you want to specifically get good at

getting... drawing information out of people, or get someone else to talk, so

you don't have to speak a lot. These are all different objectives. Another one

could be that you speak most of the small-talk conversation. And once you've

obtained them, you can say: "I've got a certain level; I can move on" — that

will give you the confidence to forget not feeling like you're English is good

enough, forget about being nervous, and just get your job done. Right? You brush

your teeth in the morning — you don't get nervous; you just do it because it's

something you've decided to do. Do it like that, or making the bed. So, that's

my first key. Let's get our mental picture right, or the mental thinking

correct. Okay? And having that objective will help with that.

So, how do you start small talk? Well, I kind of start leading in with the

objectives, but having an objective isn't going to start it. So, I'm going

to give you something that you could notice and you should talk about. Yes,

compliment and cold read. Okay? A "cold read" I'll explain in a second, but

"compliment" is easy. Say something to somebody. Now, if you're a male, it's

best to say things that aren't about... if you're talking to a female, obvious

physical attributes. But there's always something you could look at, like for

instance: I've got a really cool bracelet that my sister made for me. You

see the blue, and you go: "I love the blue in that bracelet." I'm like: "Oh,

that's so cool." That has nothing to do with what I look like physically, but it

is something I like. Okay? So, give a compliment. One of the best ways to do

that, and I've taught this before, is when you go out... next time you go out,

just close your eyes... like, look around, close your eyes, and try and

think: "What captured your imagination right away? What things stood out?" Open

your eyes and look again. You will start noticing certain things made... brought

your interest. And those things are usually designed to capture your

interest. And almost every human being, when they wear jewelry, or a shirt, or

shoes — they bought it because they liked it. So, if you close your eyes and

you can think of capturing that one thing, and you bring it up — they'll

generally think it's a genuine compliment, and they'll like it. Nobody

wants to hear you say something like: "Your face, it's like human. It's cool."

That's not a compliment. Or other things you can talk about on the female anatomy

or the male anatomy. It's obvious, and it's like some people are quite frankly

bored that you would bring it up. They want something interesting, so they can

give you their interest. Remember, my interest is my time; my time is my life.

So, make it worthwhile for me to turn around and go: "Wow. I'm going to stop

what I'm doing to talk to you because you're interesting." Okay? So,

compliment.

Follow that up with what's called a "cold read". A "cold read", if you have

ever been to a psychic — they have the crystal ball. "In your future, you will

be married to a sheep. I mean, you will get married and have sheep." They are

guessing. They're looking at you and they're looking at what you're wearing,

how you speak, and they're trying to make a guess about who you are. So, make

a "cold read". Like: "Hey, that's a really cool shirt you're wearing." It's

a shirt. "Do you golf?" That's a "cold read". You don't know. It is a golf

shirt. This is for golfing. Yes, people wear this shirt so they don't get hit by

balls. It's like: "I'm here. Don't hit me." Okay? So, you make a "cold read",

like: "That's a really cool shirt. I bet you are into golf." And I go: -"Why,

yes, it is a golf shirt." -"I like golfing." Right? Now, you can also do

that and ask a question, like: "Do you golf often?" So, you've gone from: "I

like your shirt." Maybe you don't, but maybe you do. Right? Or you go... here's

something. Maybe you don't like my shirt and you go: "That's an interesting

shirt. Do you golf?" Now, by saying: "interesting", you never said you liked

it; that's up to me to interpret. So, that's a little thing you keep in your

back pocket. If someone says: -"Do you like my food?" -"Ah, it's an interesting

choice. You went with