Name: 3 Keys to Small Talk: Meet new people and build relationships
Uploaded: 2022-04-11T02:46:49.000Z
Duration: 21 min 59 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

To-infinitive

So, E, you got the key to my heart? Hi. James from engVid. I would like to give

Present continuous

you three keys on small talk. And if your case... in case you're wondering

what small talk is, it's something all of us do. It doesn't matter if we're

meeting strangers or even people we know. But as an English student or

someone studying English, I would like to give you a reason why small talk is

especially important for you. Okay? So, let's go to the board and I'll explain

why. So, what is "small talk"? Okay? There are three things I would say. One

is a way to meet someone new. Right? So, you... you're standing by a bus, and you

ask somebody: "So, how's the weather?" You're engaging in a conversation to

meet someone. You can both stand silent; but this way, you get to meet new

people. And that's just fun in itself. Right? Makes life more interesting to

know different types of people. Number two: Build a relationship. Okay, so,

you're not meeting someone at the bus stop; you've met them a few times. Well,

if you just say: "How's the weather?" and walk away, you'll never have... have

a relationship. Meeting is the first part; you meet someone, but how do we

build that relationship? Well, you take small talk, and it helps lead to doors

where we get to know things that are important to people to make for deeper

conversation, more interesting conversation. So, if you were thinking

small talk is more like an appetizer and a meal. If you're ordering steak and

french fries, you have a salad first, and you eat the salad get... to get

ready for something bigger. Because maybe at that moment, you just want to

sit and relax, and you don't want to just put steak, and potato, and beer in

your mouth. And you want to engage in a small conversation with people. So,

"small talk" is that way to build to the next meal or the main course. A deeper

relationship. Right? Because once you've got, you know... "How's the weather?"

and someone says: "I like... I don't like it because it's cold." And the

other person says: "I like it, because cold means I can ski." You can say: "You

like to ski? That's cool. How long have you been...?" See how that works? And

the third reason we do small talk: Because it's just fun. It's fun to go

out there and engage in the world and other people. Okay?

So, this is what "small talk" is, but how does it help you as a student?

Right? Why is it important for you, as a student? Well, here are three reasons

why. Number one: Practice, practice, practice. Your pronunciation sucks.

Sorry. I'm just kidding. But you need pronunciation skills. Practice. When

you're talking to someone, small talk is short... a short enough period of time

that you can practice things; drills, because you'll say them again and again.

"How is the weather?" You know. "Hot enough for ya?" — things like that. So,

you get to work on pronunciation. And it's short enough that you can take the

lesson you learn, take it home with you to practice. Also, your listening

skills. Small talk isn't you just talking, like me, on the video — I do

all the talking. You actually have to listen, like you are now. And you're

going to find out very quickly that I don't care how many English speakers you

meet — none of them sound the same. We all have different backgrounds and, you

know... histories. Some people were born in Canada, some in the United States;

some in the South of United States. You know what I'm saying? They're not born

where you think they're born, so it's kind of hard to understand what they're

saying to you, boy. Pay attention when I'm talking to you. You go: "What did he

just say?" Well, what he said to you was: "Pay attention, please, because

he's speaking English. Don't you understand?" All English — all

different. So, every person you interact with is giving you something. Okay? So,

Next. So many students ask: "How can I stop translating in my head? I can't

stop it." Engage in small talk — that means participate in small talk. If it's

really small talk, it's very quick. You don't have time to translate everything.

By the time you're done, the conversation's done. So, it's a good way

to stop you from translating because the real conversation is too fast. If I know

you don't speak English, I'm going to slow down and that's not what you want.

Like: "Hot enough for ya?" They don't know you speak English. And you go:

"Yes, it's very hot. Why you ask?" They go: "Oh, because it's hot outside. Hot."

And they change the way they're speaking. But if you get that practice

with the pronunciation and listening skills, and enough small talk — you can

respond quickly and they will keep speaking quickly. And that is great. The

final thing is: You get new friends. Like I told you, it's fun. But these

friends will keep you practicing, which is where we go back to number one. The

initial practice of small... small talk, lets you know: "How well am I doing?"

It's like a test. Then you get to solve that problem of translation, which slows

down your conversation. And, finally, you get a new friend who's going to help

you practice even more. Small talk. Small... wonder we don't do it more.

Anyway, let's go to the board so I can give you a bit more of this particular

lesson. Actually, will give you things you can work on to improve your small

talk, so we can get this all working for you. Okay? (snaps fingers)

So, what are my three keys to small talk? You must be wondering. Well, I'm

going to give them to you right here. One. Given them to you right now. Give

them to you right now. One, two, and three — they look like slices of pie.

All right? So, the first key to getting the benefits of small talk has nothing

to do with the small talk itself; it's with your mental state, or your brain,

your mind. Okay? So, my first key is: First, don't feel like your English

isn't good enough. Quite frankly, English people's English isn't good

enougher. And I said: "enougher" because I've heard people say things on

television and on the street that's, quite frankly, really bad English; where

people don't use the "ly" when they're speaking with an adverb for things. They

don't say: "I speak slowly", they go: "I speak slow". And they're okay with it,

and there's no correction. So, don't feel your English isn't good enough.

You're learning — that's part of the process. So, by changing this mental

part will get you into the small talk. Second, most people are nervous about

starting conversations, whether this is in English, or if this is in Spanish,

Mandarin Japanese — it doesn't matter. For the average person talking to

another human being, when there is no reason to do so, is a bit nervous.

Because you don't know if they're in a good mood or a bad mood; they're going

to be happy or angry, or walk away from you, make you feel stupid. So, it's not

about the language; the other person is nervous as well. And sometimes, as

something you say that's funny or interesting, makes them go: "Wow", and

you've changed everything. Cool? All right. The third thing we have here, in

our third... or our first key is... here's where I'm going to start talking

about, you know... moving into the small talk: Have a plan. So, I know this seems

like I'm talking about the small talk, but I'm saying: In order to not worry

about your English being not good enough, and overcoming being nervous —

have three objectives for your small talk. Because if you know you just

want... okay, to small talk, you want to have someone talk to you for one minute,

and that's it. After the minute's done, you're finished. Once you hit that

Subtitles ListPlay Video

3 Keys to Small Talk: Meet new people and build relationships

pronunciation

obvious

phenomenon

mental