[music playing]

Welcome back to House Fancy. I'm Nicholas Withers.

Here next to me is Squilliam Fancyson.

Hello, peasants.

[music playing]

Come, let me show you... the roof.

An elevator?

Watch your step.

This may take a while. Just sit back and relax.

What the?

A whirlpool bath elevator?

I brought some soap.

All ashore. Welcome to my rooftop garden!

Romantic grotto,

sparkling berry mineral soda waterfall,

and my personal favorite,

a 130-foot-long sculpture of my unibrow!

It's huge, and... lifelike!

It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly.

The equation is illustrated hee by this box.

I couldn't afford a present this year,

so I got you this box.

That's what I got you.

Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes?!

And welcome back to championship boxing.

[chuckles] Guess this is okay.

I mean, it's not really about boxes.

[dinging]

I give up.

[music playing]

♪ Faster than light! Prepared to stop crime! ♪

♪ It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! ♪

Yeah!

♪ If you're in a jam ♪

[screaming]

♪ It's Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy! ♪

The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

This is Perch Perkins reporting live

from the Krusty Krab, where I am, one of three people

still unaffected by this rabid patty pandemoniu.

The second unaffected person is in this dumpster.

Care to comment, sir, on the chaos?

Perch Perkins, how did you know I was in here?

I was napping in this dumpster when you snuck in

seeking refuge.

Take a bite!

Wait! Who's the third person not affected?

P-P-P-P-P...

Plankton!

Plankton. The Chum Bucket!

Eat us. Eat us.

[music playing]

[screaming]

- Shh! - Sorry.

[laughing]

So, this isn't too scary.

[laughing]

The fisherman's hook. Get off the teeter toter!

You fools!

[laughing]

[screaming]

The fishermen's got 'em.

And he'll fry them into fish sticks.

I can't watch.

Thank you for meeting me, Atwia at midnight.

Patrick, it's okay.

You sure?

[screaming] It's worse, they're kissing!

I love you, Susie.

It's Jennifer.

I'll never leave you, Jennifer.

Goodbye Margaret!

The fishermen!

Bikini Bottom Public Access presents Fab and Fancy!

Your source for the latest in exotic pets.

Collectible jewel encrusted mittens...

[ringing]

and classical doorbell chimes..

How sophisticated.

...has been canceled.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Hey, I'm Zeus the Guitar Lord.

I don't have a guitar yet, but if I did,

I would want a really killer oe like this.

So, here's my number. If you want to talk about...

[ringing]

Hello.

Where is my Fab and Fancy?

Your what?

And now it's time for Bottom Feeding

with Gene Scallop.

Thank you, Bob. This week I'm visited--

You're welcome, Gene.

[clearing throat]

This week, I reviewed the Krusty Krab restaurant,

a local burger joint that's second to none.

Or should I say, second to run since this critic wanted to mae

like a banana and peel out the minute he saw how drab

this crab really was.

That bad, huh, Gene?

I mean, I'm not kidding when I say

this restaurant smells like the rear end of a goat.

Where are we?

Why we're at none other than the Krusty Krab.

Did you say Krusty Krab?

That's right, Krusty Krab.

Home of the world famous... Krabby Patty!

What's a Krabby Patty?

We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy,

add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese.

Topped off with secret sauce and some buns.

Viola, a Krabby Patty.

I want a Krabby Patty.

Me, too.

How are you liking them Krabby Patties, girls?

[laughing]

Look, Gary, there I am again! Look!

Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in

and have yourself a Krabby Patty today?

♪ The Krusty Krab Come spend your money here ♪

[music playing]

Slumber Party Zombie Attack

Pillow fight!

[laughing]

And a tickle! [laughing]

Missed me!

[gasping] Look what they're doing

to that man's house.

But Mr. Krabs, it's only a mo--

- Quiet boy. - Boys are here.

Hi, girls. I brought my destructive friends.

Nice to meet you.

Ha! Destroying other people's possessions is fun!

[screaming]

Turn it off. Turn it off. I can't take it.

I don't think this is the scary part yet.

Bikini Bottom Public Access presents Squidward Chat

With your host, Squidward Tentacles.

Greetings. I'm Squidward Tentacles,

your host of Squidward Chat.

Squidward, you're on TV.

No, really, Squidward, come look!

I know I'm on TV. See the camera?

You're on TV, too.

TV? [laughing]

Moron. As I was saying, today on Squidward Chat,

we'll be discussing--

[Patrick] Wow.

So I ran to tell Squidward that he was on TV

and he told me that I was on T. Now you're on TV.

I'm on TV?!

This isn't happening.

I'm not on TV.

Sea Whelks! A pernicious form of sea snail,

have invaded Bikini Bottom and are on the attack,

devouring innocent citizens and covering the city

with purple slime!

Luckily, the Bikini Bottom newsroom is perfectly safe.

This is Bikini Bottom News signing off.

[music playing]

You'll never escape this time, Man Ray!

Our molecular bubble is impenetrable!

That's exactly what I was hoping for.

[laughing]

Whoa!

[laughing]

Stop!

[laughing]

Thanks for making this easy. Until next time.

[laughing]

You just enjoyed another exciting episode

of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

No butts about it.

You're watching The Patrick Show.

When we last left the Sponge Action Man, he was..

Wait. Where's my Sponge Action Man?

There you are.

Ow. Patrick, you're freakishly huge. Cool.

Wow, it's the new talking Sponge Action Man,

who smiled warmly and said,

- "Smash! Smash!" - Whee!

Argh, I'm Fruit Beard.

Did you get stuck in the pet door again?

I ain't going to lie to ya, Meredith.

I am not a happy camper.

[Patrick laughing]

We'll be right back with The Giant Isopod Stuck

in the Pet Door show after these messages.

[groaning]

Household chores are a snap with new sponge.

It cleans sinks.

Just look at that shine.

New sponge cuts

through even the toughest grime and grit.

New sponge also cleans showers!

[screaming]

Ha, ha! That tile looks good as new!

But best of all,

new sponge can make any toilet sparkle!

[gasping]

No!

I can't do this!

Cut!

[music playing]

Squidward's House Party with your host...

Zeus the Guitar Lord

H-H-Hey, Bikini Bottom.

Are you ready to party Squidward style?

[cheering]

Thank you for making us number one

because I was finally able to get a new guitar!

Thanks Squidward!

[groaning]

Let's party!

Right on!

Next up Going Bananas Three in 3-D.

Hey, dude, pass the 3-D glasses.

This is supposed to be like in 3-D.

Oh, yeah, right.

Here I am. I'm coming at ya,

like your worse nightmare! [laughing]

Shut it, SpongeBob. Gilly's about reveal his secret.

You understand?

Them guppies, them's my children.

I knew it.

And now it's time

for the Chef Bob Cooking with Insults show

and here's your host, Chef Bob!

Hi, everybody. Who's hungry?

Alright. Roses are red. Violets are blue.

I was born pretty. What happened to you?

[music playing]