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  • Uncle Joshua Weissman

  • One of the best YouTube chef ever

  • He nail his egg fried rice

  • He nail his Tom Yum

  • But he making terrible choice when it come to facial hair haiyaa

  • Uncle Joshua, why you look like guy who gonna talk to me about NFT?

  • Today Uncle Joshua back making Thai green curry

  • Can he maintain his Uncle title?

  • Let's see, let's see

  • This video is sponsored by ExpressVPN

  • Niece and nephew, do you know Netflix so sneaky

  • They hiding so many shows from you, depending on where you live

  • Like if you in U.S.

  • Netflix only have American version of Old Boy

  • That one of the worst movies ever

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  • Using Netflix without ExpressVPN

  • Is like cooking green curry without shrimp paste

  • You end up with white people's version of everything

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  • Buffering is most annoying thing

  • If you watch Uncle Roger like this

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  • Okay so today we're making a Thai green curry

  • But not just a Thai green curry

  • You're gonna make your own curry paste from scratch

  • in a mortar and pestle by hand

  • Good, good, good

  • He making curry paste from scratch

  • That good, because in western country

  • Very hard to get good green curry paste

  • Like when Uncle Roger make my Thai green curry

  • I make my own paste also

  • But if niece and nephew live in Thailand

  • Okay to buy curry paste from shop

  • Because they got secret recipe pass down by generation

  • Or even better

  • Kidnap random Thai auntie, ask her make green curry paste for you

  • Because good green curry worth kidnapping someone for

  • So start by combining two teaspoons or four grams of coriander seeds

  • Coriander seed correct

  • Cumin correct

  • 3 grams of white peppercorns

  • Correct, white peppercorn correct

  • Into an oven that's been preheated to 325

  • Haiya, oven for what

  • Just toss in pan, Uncle Joshua

  • Asian people we just use oven as storage for pot and pan

  • Until lightly toasted, you could also do this in a pan if you want

  • Then let this cool down

  • OK, he addressed that

  • Are you ready for this?

  • Thinly sliced 9 Thai chillis

  • 3 serrano chillis

  • Okay 12 chillis total, good amount

  • Two small shallots

  • Shallot good

  • Garlic good

  • Four cilantro stems no leaves

  • Oh no no first mistake

  • Not cilantro stem

  • Green curry unique cilantro root, cilantro root!

  • Root and stem different

  • Somebody didn't pay attention In biology class

  • One stock of lemongrass

  • Two inch knob of peeled galangal

  • Please! Galangal is key

  • That right, don't replaced galangal with ginger

  • Galangal and ginger not the same thing

  • People who think ginger can replace galangal

  • Are the same people who think Jamie Oliver can cook

  • Very finely chiffonade

  • Three kaffir lime leaves

  • Good chopping

  • To make grinding easier, I align mine up

  • Get a large mortar and pestle

  • Pestle and mortar fuiyoh

  • Correct correct

  • Grind those with your pestle

  • Why grind, don't grind haiya

  • Just like nephew Nick

  • You don't want to grind, Uncle Joshua

  • You want to pound

  • Go watch my green curry video

  • Go see how good Uncle Roger is at pounding

  • That how I gonna win the heart of Auntie Esther

  • Until you get a powder, then get a towel underneath

  • Because you're destroying your countertop

  • Follow that up with your sliced Thai chilies

  • Good pounding should always destroy countertop

  • Grind those into

  • He pounding here, OK, he pounding

  • And really get in there and grind

  • Pounding, wait, that it?

  • He just pound 2 stroke and he finish

  • Feel bad for his girlfriend

  • Just two stroke haiyaa

  • Uncle Roger can pound at least twice as long

  • This will take 2-3 minutes depending on your technique

  • I rough chop my sliced galangal and added that

  • Grind that down until it's pastified, another one to two minutes

  • Then add your your lemongrass, which has also been pretty finely chopped

  • Actually, don't need to chop so fine

  • Because it gonna get pound to shit anyway

  • This is where technique comes in, pal

  • Use human instinct, sensuous

  • What technique?

  • Use your grinder to press it

  • This not even pounding, what technique?

  • Twist your pestle to get it nice

  • You want technique

  • Go watch Mark Wiens mother-in-law

  • That the right technique

  • Not this stirring bullshit

  • Till smooth, followed by coriander stem, also until smooth

  • Coriander root, not stem

  • Your garlic

  • Grind till smooth

  • And last but not least finished it off with a half teaspoon or 4 grams

  • Fuiyoh, correct correct, shrimp paste good, and he use a lot

  • That the right amount, not the white amount

  • Good job, Uncle Joshua

  • Blending all that together, totalling in at around 15 to 20 minutes of grinding

  • Yes it's tedious

  • But the effort turns into reward

  • When everyone is moaning at the dinner table

  • Don't moaning at the dinner table

  • This cooking video, not onlyfans

  • You'll know it's smooth enough if you can form a ball with it

  • What he doing?

  • Ayo it's the green curry paste ball

  • This not play-doh, don't play with your food, Uncle Joshua

  • This green curry look like my ex-wife before makeup

  • Oh my god can I have your autograph?

  • So on to the easiest part- the curry

  • In a medium-sized pot, add 2 tablespoons or 28 milliliters of

  • Okay oil go in

  • Over medium heat until hot hot, bing bong

  • Then add all of your curry paste

  • Wait, what? Curry paste already?

  • No no no Uncle Joshua, no

  • Green curry got two methods

  • First step, you either fry the coconut milk to split the oil out

  • like how Uncle Roger do

  • Or you do more homestyle

  • Where you mix the curry paste in water and boil it

  • Like how Mark Wiens mother-in-law do

  • You don't just stir-fry the curry paste

  • Big mistake here

  • Cook that guy down stirring often until it's relatively dried out

  • And is starting to stick to the bottom about 3 or 4 minutes

  • Then stir in five cloves of very finely chopped garlic

  • Garlic? But you have garlic in your paste already

  • A cup or 177 milliliters of chicken stock

  • Wait, chicken stock?

  • No chicken stock

  • 177 milliliters of chicken stock

  • Chicken stock should not be first liquid in there

  • When the coconut milk gonna come?

  • Uncle Roger waiting here half an hour now

  • Coconut milk still not here

  • Are you growing the coconut tree right now Joshua

  • Why you wait so long for coconut milk?

  • Where to coconut milk?

  • Chicken stock we put near the end

  • Used to thin out the curry

  • Not the first thing that go in haiyaa

  • Then add one tablespoon or 17 grams of palm sugar

  • Palm sugar correct

  • Remember, don't use white sugar

  • White sugar for white people

  • 2 tablespoons or 30 milliliters of fish sauce

  • Fish sauce, good

  • Is dissolved, then add one 13.5 ounce or

  • Finally the coconut milk go in

  • Follow by three additional kaffir lime leaves

  • Bring it to light simmer and reduce the heat to low

  • And if you wanted ultra velvety smooth

  • Then at this point would blend it with

  • What

  • Until smooth as you like

  • No need, what?

  • What he doing

  • No need hand blender, you already pound it

  • It's so smooth that's just chicken stock and three leaves in there

  • Blend what blend?

  • He just trying to show off his blender or something

  • Bring it to light simmer and reduce the heat to low

  • Look at this curry colour

  • It so white

  • This Jamie Oliver level white haiyaa

  • This curry is so white, it about to ask Uncle Roger where I really from

  • Adding 3/4 of a pound or 340 grams of boneless and skinless chicken thighs

  • Okay, at least that correct

  • And simmer for 7-8 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through

  • Now it's veggie time

  • Yay! Something healthy for once

  • Something healthy? Haiya, Joshua

  • You want healthy

  • Go drink smoothie

  • Thai green curry don't need healthy, just make it taste good

  • Make it taste good

  • Heavily allergic to nightshades then maybe not

  • Add one to two Thai eggplants

  • Sliced about half an inch

  • He said what, what he say?

  • Add one to two Thai eggplants

  • That not Thai eggplant

  • This video starting to unravel now

  • This just regular eggplant

  • Regular eggplant is the emoji you use nephew trying to be dirty

  • Thai eggplants don't look like that haiyaa

  • Thai eggplant little round ball

  • Remind me of my testicle

  • Just round and green

  • Sorry children

  • Uncle Roger should get that checked

  • And that also a lot of eggplants

  • That so much fiber, you gonna shit yourself for a month haiya

  • About half an inch thick

  • Stir that in and simmer for four minutes or until soft

  • Then follow that with

  • What?

  • 160 grams of snow peas

  • Snow peas? No no no

  • That is mangetout

  • That is what Jamie olive oil do in his Thai green curry video

  • No

  • Mangetout, the worst vegetable

  • Uncle Roger have to put my leg down from chair

  • This Jamie Oliver level mistake

  • Uncle Joshua, What happened, what happened?

  • Uncle Roger take his uncle title away haiyaa

  • What happened?

  • Uncle Joshua, dead and gone

  • One and a half cups or 160 grams of snow peas

  • This look so similar to Jamie Olive oil curry

  • I think Jamie Oliver see this curry

  • He gonna go:" Oh, this green curry looks just like my green curry

  • It looks really good, yeah ya!

  • First Uncle Gordon loses his Uncle title

  • And now Joshua also

  • They all the same as Auntie Helen

  • They just let Uncle Roger down

  • Sad

  • So much pain in my heart haiyaa

  • I like my snap peas to have some crunch to them

  • So one to two minutes is usually enough

  • Now once that's done

  • Season that to taste with the juice of one lime

  • Lime wrong

  • Fish sauce or palm sugar if you feel like it needs it

  • No way to save it now

  • Two large sprigs of Thai basil in the hot curry to release some

  • Herbaceousness

  • Look at this look, look at this

  • Look more like vegetable soup haiyaa

  • Where the Thai green curry?

  • Where?

  • Now you have an incredible curry which

  • No, it not incredible

  • Nice big bowl

  • I can't watch anymore

  • And nice heaping ladle fulls of curry on the other

  • See this

  • Fried shallots

  • No need fried shallot, too fancy

  • And also, who eat green curry like this?

  • Asian people we eat green curry

  • We put green curry in bowl and scoop into rice

  • Only white people do this

  • They split the curry out, the curry cannot touch the rice

  • It like East and West Germany

  • What is it about white people and segregation?

  • Sliced serrano chilli and fresh Thai basil leaves

  • Now this bowl right here, in my opinion

  • Pays respect and homage to one of the greatest curries in the entire world

  • Pay respect? Pay respect to who?

  • Jamie Oliver is it?

  • We should just go for the the curry itself aside from

  • all the vegetables and proteins and everything that's in there

  • Oh my god, look so white

  • You want to be hit right in the face with the most fresh Thai green curry

  • Notice how there is no layer of oil on it

  • It seems like it could be really spicy it's really not, very palatable

  • Spice level wise, I'll give this a, like 4.2345678/10

  • Not that spicy as long as you don't launch at the back your throat

  • Everything comes together beautiful

  • Launch at the back of throat?

  • Who eat food like that? Who deep throat a Thai green curry?

  • Niece and nephew, if you go on date

  • And your date deep throat the food

  • Married them immediately

  • Perfect Thai green curry you can make it home

  • And yes you should make the curry paste

  • You're not making this without making the paste. Period, end of story

  • The paste, every step correct

  • But the cooking, all wrong

  • You want to know what else is creamy and makes you sweat just a little?

  • B-roll!

  • B-roll! so cool for what

  • It all fucked

  • If Jamie Oliver like your Thai green curry

  • You fucked up

  • Haiyaa, Uncle Roger disappointed now

  • No more Uncle Joshua

  • This sad moment in YouTube cooking

  • He looked less like chef

  • And more like guy who about to talk to you about NFT

  • He nail egg fried rice

  • He nail Thai Tom Yum

  • But he don't nail his facial hair

  • Go watch my green curry video

  • Go see how good Uncle Roger is at pounding

  • That how I gonna win the heart of Auntie Esther

  • You want healthy, go drink vitamin water or some shit

  • You want healthy, go drink kombucha

  • You want healthy, go drink white women drink

  • Go eat yogurt parfait and smoothie or some shit

  • Oh, this green curry look

  • Oh, I didn't wear plaid shirt

  • If you can't do an impression of someone, just dress like them

  • Niece and nephew, do you like Uncle Roger impression of Jamie Oliver?

  • What you think, what you think?

  • Leave comment down below

  • You can't even tell difference on when Uncle Roger put on this mask

  • And put on my checkered shirt, You can't even tell difference

  • They split the curry out, the curry cannot touch the rice

  • Like Russia and Ukraine, shit

  • I gonna get in trouble for this one

  • Put in the bloopers

Uncle Joshua Weissman

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