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  • Chris Voss, founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of "Never Split the Difference", is a former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI.

  • Voss says, "Emotions are one of the main things that derail communication. Once people get upset at one another, rational thinking goes out the window."

  • "That's why, instead of denying or ignoring emotions, good negotiators identify and influence them."

  • "Emotions aren't the obstacle to successful negotiations. They are the means."

  • So, how does Chris Voss navigate emotions during tough negotiations?

  • We've gathered five of his top tips to help you command the negotiation table.

  • Number one, mirroring.

  • According to Voss, "Repeat the last one to three words your counterpart just said back to them."

  • "This is one of the quickest ways to establish a rapport and make your counterpart feel safe enough to reveal themselves."

  • Additionally, this technique allows you to slow the conversation down, providing more time to think.

  • However, it should be used sparingly.

  • Number two, empathize strategically.

  • "There are some real bad habits out there, and one of those bad habits is the idea that you gotta get your point across. Hear the other side out first."

  • Demonstrate to your counterpart that you're striving to understand their feelings.

  • Voss recommends phrases like, "It sounds like you're afraid of..." and "It looks like you're concerned about..." to do this.

  • Number three, guide them to saying "no".

  • Voss explains that no-focused questions go far in putting the other person at ease.

  • "Every 'yes' is a concession to the other side; at least, sometimes it can feel that way."

  • "Allowing opportunities to say 'no' gives the person a measure of control and a sense of security."

  • Number four, recognize and rephrase.

  • Voss says, "The moment you've convinced someone that you understand their dreams and feelings is the moment a negotiation breakthrough can happen."

  • "Trigger a 'that's right' response by summarizing and reaffirming how your counterpart feels and what they want."

  • "A great summary that will trigger a 'that's right' will be done based on feelings and passions that are driving them but they may be blind to."

  • And number five, work together.

  • According to Voss, "Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you're right."

  • "In negotiations, the more the other person likes you, the more flexible they will be."

  • "And good negotiators realize that striving for a win-win outcome produces the best results."

Chris Voss, founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of "Never Split the Difference", is a former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI.

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How to Navigate Emotions During Tough Negotiations, According to a Former FBI Negotiator | Inc.

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    林宜悉 posted on 2022/04/15
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