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Chris Voss, founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of "Never Split the Difference", is a former lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI.
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Voss says, "Emotions are one of the main things that derail communication. Once people get upset at one another, rational thinking goes out the window."
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"That's why, instead of denying or ignoring emotions, good negotiators identify and influence them."
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"Emotions aren't the obstacle to successful negotiations. They are the means."
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So, how does Chris Voss navigate emotions during tough negotiations?
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We've gathered five of his top tips to help you command the negotiation table.
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Number one, mirroring.
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According to Voss, "Repeat the last one to three words your counterpart just said back to them."
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"This is one of the quickest ways to establish a rapport and make your counterpart feel safe enough to reveal themselves."
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Additionally, this technique allows you to slow the conversation down, providing more time to think.
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However, it should be used sparingly.
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Number two, empathize strategically.
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"There are some real bad habits out there, and one of those bad habits is the idea that you gotta get your point across. Hear the other side out first."
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Demonstrate to your counterpart that you're striving to understand their feelings.
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Voss recommends phrases like, "It sounds like you're afraid of..." and "It looks like you're concerned about..." to do this.
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Number three, guide them to saying "no".
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Voss explains that no-focused questions go far in putting the other person at ease.
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"Every 'yes' is a concession to the other side; at least, sometimes it can feel that way."
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"Allowing opportunities to say 'no' gives the person a measure of control and a sense of security."
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Number four, recognize and rephrase.
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Voss says, "The moment you've convinced someone that you understand their dreams and feelings is the moment a negotiation breakthrough can happen."
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"Trigger a 'that's right' response by summarizing and reaffirming how your counterpart feels and what they want."
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"A great summary that will trigger a 'that's right' will be done based on feelings and passions that are driving them but they may be blind to."
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And number five, work together.
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According to Voss, "Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you're right."
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"In negotiations, the more the other person likes you, the more flexible they will be."
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"And good negotiators realize that striving for a win-win outcome produces the best results."