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  • - Oh good! You're just in time.

  • I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (gentle music playing)

  • Hello Kripkey? Yeah, Sheldon Cooper here.

  • It occurred to me that you hadn't returned any of my calls

  • because I hadn't offered any concrete suggestions

  • for pursuing our friendship.

  • Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Yeah, I see.

  • Well then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa.

  • I see.

  • No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up yet.

  • What about a recreational activity?

  • I bet we share some common interests.

  • Tell me an interest of yours.

  • Really? On actual horses?

  • (audience laughing)

  • Tell me another interest of yours.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Oh no, I'm sorry.

  • I have no desire to get in the water

  • until I absolutely have to.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Tell me another interest of yours.

  • - Howard. You are in an elite group.

  • Only 232 people have ever been

  • on the International Space Station.

  • How does that make you feel?

  • - Honestly, lucky.

  • Most astronauts have to train their whole lives.

  • I was just in the right place at the right time.

  • - Oh, please. Luck had nothing to do with it.

  • You people need to know how impressive this man is.

  • He was up there because he's the only one qualified

  • to install a piece of equipment that he designed.

  • - Thanks, but if you want to talk impressive,

  • this guy right here discovered a planetary object

  • outside the Kuiper belt.

  • - He worked on the Mars Rover.

  • - He helped launch the New Horizons space probe

  • - He went to space on a Russian rocket!

  • (audience laughing)

  • - Why are you getting annoyed?

  • - I'm trying to be a better friend,

  • but you constantly say and do irritating things.

  • - Like when?

  • - When? How about in the car?

  • I'm an astronaut and you know it,

  • you just don't like admitting it because you're jealous.

  • - Well, truth be told, as a child

  • I did dream of going to space.

  • Those astronauts were my heroes.

  • And when you got to go, it was hard for me.

  • - Thank you.

  • - Because it made me realize

  • they'll just send anyone up there.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - I don't like when things change.

  • So regardless of your feelings,

  • I would like you to continue dating Leonard.

  • (audience laughing)

  • And also, while we're on the subject,

  • you recently changed your shampoo,

  • and I'm not comfortable with the new scent.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Will you please stop this madness

  • and go back to green apple.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - Okay, honey, I have a lot to figure out and until I do,

  • you are not to say a word to Leonard.

  • Do you understand?

  • - I do.

  • You clear on the shampoo issue?

  • - Get out.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - Penny.

  • - What?

  • - Please don't hurt my friend.

  • - That is the last thing I want to do.

  • - Thank you.

  • - Coconut. What were you thinking? Are you a hula girl?

  • - Get out!

  • (audience laughing)

  • - [Howard] Raj, stop!

  • - What are you doing here?

  • - Look, if you're getting on that plane

  • because you love Anu and you can't stand the thought

  • of spending another day without her, then go.

  • If not, then stay here with the people who love you.

  • - Well, what if this is my last chance

  • at marriage and family?

  • - I promise you it's not.

  • Believe me, somewhere out there is a woman

  • who loves cooking shows and sweater vests

  • and all the other dumb things you love.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - You really think so?

  • - Yes.

  • And I don't think she's waiting for you in England.

  • When you propose to someone in Notting Hill,

  • it should be to someone who knows what that movie is.

  • - I was under a misapprehension

  • that my accomplishments were mine alone.

  • Nothing could be further from the truth.

  • I have been encouraged, sustained,

  • inspired, and tolerated, not only by my wife,

  • but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had.

  • Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Penny, Leonard.

  • I apologize if I haven't been the friend you deserve,

  • but I want you to know: in my way, I love you all.

  • (gentle guitar strumming)

  • And I love you.

  • Thank you.

  • (audience applauding, gentle music fading)

- Oh good! You're just in time.

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The Big Bang Theory | How To Be A Good Friend | HBO Max

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    Julianne Sung posted on 2021/09/24
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