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  • - I'm actually glad Lucy had to work tonight,

  • saving the awkward conversation about

  • how it was going to be hanging with my bros.

  • - Isn't every conversation you two have, awkward?

  • - Painfully so. We have this rule on the phone

  • that if no one talks for three minutes,

  • you can just hang up.

  • So into her.

  • - Ready whenever you guys are.

  • - Yeah, we'll be right there. Leonard?

  • - Yeah.

  • - I'm not sure how I feel about Howard

  • being Dungeon Master, instead of you.

  • - Oh, that's nice but relax, sometimes change is good.

  • You were worried about Zachary Quinto

  • being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him.

  • - Oh please. Every time the topic of change comes up,

  • you throw Zachary Quinto in my face.

  • I'm upset the mailman has new haircut, "Zachary Quinto."

  • I'm upset that daylight saving time started,

  • "Zachary Quinto."

  • I'm upset daylight saving time ended, "Zachary Quinto."

  • I'm saying this for the last time,

  • Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event.

  • So stop using him against me.

  • - Okay, here we go.

  • You find yourself in an overgrown old forest,

  • before you is a giant Oak tree with a face on it,

  • that looks a lot like Nicolas Cage.

  • He says:

  • (mimics Nicolas Cage) "Travel with caution.

  • "These woods are home to the bones of many of fallen heroes"

  • - Now, see. Howard just as good a Dungeon Master as I am.

  • - As good? Well, you just got pantsed in the school yard,

  • four eyes.

  • - Hey, come on guys, focus.

  • Oh mighty Nicolas Cage tree,

  • We thank you for your warning,

  • but we are brave warriors and nothing short of death

  • will keep us from a goal.

  • (phone rings)

  • Oh, Lucy's free after all. See you.

  • - No, no, no, hey, hey!

  • You can't leave, we just started.

  • - You're right, I should finish the game.

  • I take my plus-one long sword,

  • stab myself in the face with it.

  • I'm dead, I've got a date with a girl. Bye.

  • - We'll be fine, watch.

  • (clears throat) Suddenly, a spectral shape rises

  • from Koothrappali's bloody corpse and says:

  • (mimics Rajesh) "Don't worry buddies,

  • ghost Raj will help guide you through the forest.

  • (mimics Nicolas Cage) Well I'm just a tree,

  • but if I were you I'd listened to your ghost friend.

  • - Go on, give him your lunch money.

- I'm actually glad Lucy had to work tonight,

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B1 US zachary nicolas cage dungeon howard saving

The Big Bang Theory | Howard Becomes Dungeon Master | HBO Max

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    Julianne Sung posted on 2021/09/22
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