M: Hey guys, funny story for you before I start cooking.

M: And by funny I mean not funny at all.

M: Last night in the middle of my slumber.

M: A mosquito broke into our house.

M: Mauled my body. I have mosquito bites on my neck, on my eyelids.

M: And Simon, Meemers, and Spudgy were all sleeping in the same room.

M: When I *cute voice* hue hue hue I'm sleeping.

M: And the mosquito just violated my face and I woke up at like 2 AM itchy and swollen.

M: So, I'm feeling a little on the cranky side of not having any sleep.

M: I had to sleep downstairs in the basement terrified covered in a blanket.

M: Because I thought the mosquito was still upstairs. Like, I heard it buzzing and it didn't bother Simon at all.

M: So I had a lonely, cuddleless, freezing cold, itchy sleep.

M: It was really hard.

S: Cuddles M: It didn't bite you at all?

S: No M: Not even a little?

S: Why would it bite me if it's got your sweet sweet blood instead?

S: Your sweet BLOOOOD

M: So toda- S: YOUR SWEET BLOOOOOOD

M: So TODAY I'm going to make some comfort food.

M: I am making niku udon, which is beef udon.

M: And for those of you that do not eat meat, I am including a version for you involving SEITAN. How do you say this?

M: Tempeh (Tem-pay). TEM-PEEEEEEH

M: Simon help me.

S: It's the devil's candy.

M: I dont know what it's called. It's like not meat and you can rehydrate it. And then it absorbs flavors.

M: And I'm pretty sure it's called SEITAN.

M: Let me know in the comment section below. Let's get started on some delicious beef udon everyone.

M: So, for last Martina's Midnight Munchies I taught you guys how to make miso soup.

M: And I warned you at the beginning of the video that "Dashi is the classic cooking stock used in a lot of Japanese cuisine.

M: Once you learn how to make this, you can make tons of other dishes. And I will forever constantly refer back to this video.

M: And if you're like (I wanna make dashi!) and I'm like GO BACK TO THE MISO SOUP VIDEO.

M: So, if you don't know how to make that you can check out my video after you watch this one.

M: It's right at the beginning so you don't have to like fast forward through tons of stuff.

M: All though I might of talked at the beginning as I normally do.

M: The point is that once you've got that ready, then we can start making our udon together.

M: I would make the udon from scratch, which I can do. But I am far too cranky to do that this morning.

M: Not to mention my nails are really nice and it's very difficult to like knead noodles.

M: I'm just using store bought, fresh udon. If you don't live near an Asian marketplace, you could order it online

M: and I'm sure lots of lovely nasties are going to let you guys know where they order their stuff.

M: I'm going to be anteing it up a little bit because I like to have some mushrooms and some onions in mine.

M: I'm also going to be including some fish cakes. All these are just additional choices.

M: I think once you get the base down on the actual broth and how it tastes

M: Then you can kinda go crazy.

M: GO CRAZY. S & M: GO CRAZY. GO CRAZY. GO CRAZY. GO CRAZY. GO CRAZY.

M: KPOP ruined my vocabulary life.

M: So we're going for a 3 step process here. Once you make the broth, you're literally just dumping it all

M: together in a bowl and warming it up.

M: The other one is a separate pot all together for boiling the udon noodles

M: You do not boil the udon noodles inside the broth. We're going to be adding the broth to the noodles once they're cooked.

M: And the other thing we're going to be doing is frying up our beef or our tofu or whatever substitute

M: you are using.

M: And making a kind of caramelized teryaki sauce with onions and mushrooms.

M: And that might taste very sweet at first. When we add it to the broth it's going to dissolve a bit.

M: So that's the 3 steps that we're gonna be doing today.

M: I've started boiling my hot water to boil my udon in.

M: I'm warming up my broth in the corner here. And now we're going to start sauteing and carmelizing everything.

M: I have this on medium heat. We're gonna add the beef, the onions and the mushrooms.

M: And then we're gonna add in that little glaze that I mixed with you guys.

M: You guys might notice that I didn't add any oil, because the beef has natural fat that it's going to give off.

M: If you're not using beef and you're using just tofu or tempeh or SEITAN,

M: then you might wanna add a dash of olive oil in there.

M: Just a smidgen of olive oil. Rub it all over the pan. Mmmmmm.

M: That's my Nigella impersonation.

M: (coughing)

M: We've been sick.

M: We've been sick the past couple days

M: Things are starting to soften up.

M: I'm gonna add in my sauce.

M: Come on sugar.

M: It smells great already. Doesn't it? S: mhmmm

M: Okay I'm gonna turn that down a little bit.

M: Awwww yeah.

M: We gonna get schwifty.

M: You can see that it's nice and coated and everything's shrinking down.

M: I want it to go a little bit longer on like medium to low so it stops being as liquidy

M: I want it to get a bit sticky and caramelly and then I'm going to add my dashi.

M: This is the one that I didn't add for the soup broth. The leftover dashi that I included in the recipe.

M: Okay I'm gonna add a quarter cup of dashi.

M: And I'm just gonna let this simmer on like a low heat, for around 5 minutes or so.

M: Now that the beef is actually already cooked, I'll be able to taste it along the way and see if it needs more

M: soy sauce or more sugar.

M: So while the beef, mushrooms and onions are simmering

M: I wanna warm up my fish cakes.

M: I wanna add my fish cakes, my green onions and my enoki mushrooms to the broth.

M: The reason I'm adding it to the broth and not to the actual meat is that I don't want them to overcook.

M: Fishcakes are already cooked, so you just need to kinda warm them up

M: And enoki mushrooms just dissolve into nothingness if you put them in a pan

M: and then you cook them and your like "whelp they're gone", it's like a waste of money.

M: So I like to warm them up in the broth rather than actually overcook them in the pan.

M: So I actually had brought this broth up to a boil.

M: And then I turned it down because I don't want it to evaporate and not have any broth left.

M: Just warming it up is all you're doing.

M: And since there's nothing meaty in here you can actually taste it in advance to see if you wanna

M: add more flavors to it or not.

M: So I'm just bringing the heat back up again, warming up everything and then turning it down.

M: In the meanwhile lets take a look at this sexy stuff over here.

M: Oh yeah look at that. Look at that getting all mmmm.

M: Mhhmmmm

M: Let me taste this beef and see if it needs anything.

M: WHOA LET'S CALM DOWN EDS.

M: Calm down.

M: I think I would like it to be a tiny bit sweeter since the broth is gonna be quite on the salty side.

M: So I'm gonna add a little bit more of the brown sugar

M: Which I have waiting here.

M: Perhaps I should've used a different hand

M: It naturally shakes itself out.

M: Some onions are sweeter than others. Some onions are salty. Some mushrooms are sweet.

M: Gotta keep tasting it.

M: Alright I have tasted this, it is very delicious. The brown sugar has caramelized nicely

M: The sweet onions are giving out amazing flavors.

M: I'm gonna kill the heat on this. We're gonna move into udon cooking. It takes only two minutes to cook udon.

M: Then you drain it, do not rinse it, and then you put it into the bowls.

M: Ta-da! It's all finished! I also reccommend adding some of the S&B 7 spice powder to it

M: because I like hot food.

M: Alright got a little bit of mushroom, a little bit of beef, a little bit of udon.

M: Mmm

M: Mmm

M: The beef is a little bit sweet.

M: The onions are all caramelized.

M: The mushrooms remained all fresh and crunchy.

M: MMM!

M: I hope you guys get a chance to try this at home. Let me know if you make it the same way I do.

M: Or if you decide to throw in some different ingredients.

M: And whoa, I feel like if I keep talking Simon's is gonna get all like swollen, and bloated and sad.

S: HURRYYYYY

M: Because the more you talk the more udon noodles absorb the broth and it starts to like make it all crappy

S: PLEASEEEEE

M: You want some Ducky? S: Yeah

M: Niku Udon? S: Yeah

M: Come on in.

S&M: Mmmm

S: OISHI!

S&M: (unintelligeble udon speak)

M: UMAI!

M: Mmm

M: And make sure you let me know in the comment section below if you make it. Send me a tweet.

M: Send me a Facebook post.

M: Tag me on Instagram. I'm not adding anymore social media things cause it's getting out of control people.

M: Mmm. I'm going to eat.

M: Meemers you thought you could escape him.

S: You thought that this video wouldn't have a makeout session?

S: Yeah, I know you did.

S: Come here my sweet boy.

S: Your big soft tummy.

S: Have any of you ever pet a kitty tummy like this?

S: Look at that soft tummy.

Meemers: Well that's it for this week's video. Thanks for watching guys. Bye bye.

Meemers: Oh wait, are you guys still here?

Meemers: Wow, I'd like it if you kind of left me alone, thanks.

S: Yeah this is how my cat sits on me.

M: That's normal.

M: Normal household cat sitting

S: (coughs)

Meemers: I don't like coughing it's terrifying!

Spudgy: I'M CUTE TOO

M: You're my sweet boy, I love you despite that you're gross and old. I love you.

Spudgy: Thanks mom!

M: Aww

M: Such a good boy.