Hello and welcome to VideoJug.

I'm Rebecca Fensome, and I'm a life coach.

Being a great communicator is important in all areas of our life.

Whether we're talking to our partners,

or friends, or work colleagues.

Being able to inspire other individuals through your communication

will allow you to have a more fruitful and enriching life.

Here are my top tips to being a good communicator.

Tip 1.

Use open-ended questions.

In order to get a communication going,

it's really useful to use open-ended questions.

Open-ended questions often start with words such as:

what, when, how, and why.

An example of an open-ended question is:

"So what do you like doing in your spare time?"

"I love cinema, theatre, and sports."

It's best to avoid what we call closed questions.

An example of a closed question is:

"Do you like films?"

"Yes, I do."

A closed question kills the conversation

because it can only be answered with a yes or no answer.

Careful using these open-ended questions

will ensure that the conversation continues to flow.

Tip two.

Active listening.

This is a really useful technique.

As it tells the other person that you really listened to what they've been saying,

and also, more importantly,

that you've understood.

"The hours are quite long."

"The work's really repetitive."

"My boss doesn't appreciate me."

If you've been listening actively,

at this point you should now be able to summarize what the individual has just told you.

"It sounds like you aren't really satisfied in your job anymore."

Tip 3.

The cocoon.

Sometimes when people are talking to us we find it hard to concentrate on what they're saying.

It might be that there's some background noise,

or our mind is elsewhere.

In order to help you with this,

visualize a cocoon around the two of you.

This will allow you to focus in on every word that they're saying to you.

Tip four.

Engage with the other person.

If someone is trying to engage you in conversation,

your body language is really important.

"Tom I need your advice."

"Uh huh."

Don't continue with the task that you're already doing.

Don't shout the answer over your shoulder.

"Tom, Tom!"

"I need your advice."

"Sorry, um....."

Instead what we need to do, is stop what you're doing,

turn around and face that individual and give them the time they deserve.

"Tom, I need your advice."

"Of course, what is it?"

Good communication style is when you really engage with the other individual.

Tip 5.

Don't make assumptions.

Don't jump to conclusions when you're having a conversation with someone.

Don't assume you know what they're thinking or feeling about a particular topic.

It seems you'll be alright there.

Instead, it is much better to ask them:

if they're okay with this, if they feel alright about that.

You really going to take into consideration that person's thoughts and beliefs

rather than projecting your own thoughts or feelings on them.

Tip 6.

Avoid antagonistic sentences.

An example of antagonistic sentence is:

"You're sitting in my chair"

An antagonistic sentence can be seen as a form of attack.

So it's much better and more constructive instead to use sentences such as:

"Excuse me, I think you've taken my seat."

This is less confrontational.

which will mean your life is full of a lot less conflicts.