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  • Okay, socializing is important.

  • So, I'm... I'm gonna do it.

  • I'm gonna go to the party for ten minutes, just ten minutes, and then I'll make my escape once I've reminded everyone that I exist.

  • What's the worst that could happen?

  • Oh, hey, you're the first one here!

  • This is the worst thing that could've happened.

  • - We've got a lot to catch up on! - Yeah...

  • Well, I'd love to come to your nephew's tee ball game, but the thing is, I have a tee ball game that afternoon, too.

  • Oh, you know what?

  • That day, I'm supposed to be, uh, rescuing baby ducks from an oil spill.

  • But, you know, I guess I could cancel to go to your get-together.

  • You know, the ducks, they can just... expire.

  • Hello? No, this is me.

  • No, it's n—it's not him.

  • No, I am, I am from Norway. Please do not call again.

  • I have no reason to leave the house ever again.

  • Everything can just get dropped right to my doorstepgroceries, shoes, Starbucks.

  • Though, I will say, the Starbucks, not as hot when you get it delivered, but I'll take the hit.

  • Who is it?

  • I've got a package delivery.

  • I need a signature.

  • Crap! Why is this happening?

  • Hello?

  • Could I just get it delivered, like, with one of those drones instead?

  • - No. - Argh! Human interaction!

  • Why would I need someone else to talk to when I've got several different persons within me, all vying for attention?

  • I've got more understanding now than I ever have before.

  • I just get it now.

  • It is all a game, and we are it.

  • What if my life is just a low-budget YouTube program and my house is just a green screen stock photo?

  • How many years has it been since I've had a conversation with someone?

  • I, I don't remember.

  • Time has no meaning for me.

  • My friends stopped inviting me out, which was nice of them, I guess.

  • You know, saves me the trouble of declining every time, which, as many times as I did it, was still emotionally exhausting.

  • I don't wear pants anymore.

  • If I hear a phone ring, it knocks me out for a few days.

  • Very stressful—I'm just not used to it anymore.

  • And most days, I do fake interviews where I answer questions as though someone is talking to me, even though I'm here all alone...

  • Like right now.

Okay, socializing is important.

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