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  • [ Willie ] this is the way it began that extraordinary night;

  • The night "he" came.

  • Let me just shut this thing off.

  • [ Beep, beep, beep ] what's that noise?

  • [ Repeating beeps ]

  • Oh, my gosh!

  • It's the infrared radio band.

  • I've locked in to something in space;

  • A pulsar or a satellite.

  • Hello? Hello? This is k-7-2-6-X-A-A.

  • Can you read me?

  • [ Unrecognizable language ]

  • They're answering, but i don't recognize the language.

  • Why don't you just shut it off?

  • I can't.

  • I can't control it. It's locked in.

  • Willie, look. What's that?

  • Oh, my gosh!

  • It can't be!

  • What happened to the lights?

  • Daddy, what's that thing in the sky?

  • What's going on?

  • It's closing in fast.

  • I think we better...

  • [ Boom! ]

  • [ Spaceship-Type humming ]

  • We-- We have a visitor.

  • **

  • Here he comes! Here he comes!

  • Brian, stay with me.

  • My gosh, it's hairy!

  • Let's put it over here.

  • No!

  • Lynn, clear off the coffee table.

  • Quick, it's heavy.

  • Heavy and hairy!

  • [ Gasp ]

  • [ Lynn ] i can't believe it.

  • What do you think it is?

  • A real alien!

  • Willie-- Willie what is it?

  • I don't know.

  • Brian's right. It's an alf.

  • What?

  • An alf. An a-L-F.

  • That's short for "alien life form."

  • Can alf stay in my room?

  • No!

  • This thing is not staying in--

  • It's not staying!

  • Why not? E.T. Got to stay.

  • E.T. Was a movie. This is real.

  • This is on our coffee table.

  • This is incredible; truly amazing.

  • After all those years of wondering, and hoping...

  • That it might be possible to contact alien life--

  • To have this happen, it's a miracle.

  • It's the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.

  • Get rid of it!

  • Absolutely.

  • We don't know anything about it. It could be dangerous.

  • It could be diseased. It could be hostile,

  • Or have hostile friends or acquaintances.

  • It could be anything.

  • We better report it to the authorities.

  • What if the authorities do something to it?

  • Yeah, what if they poke needles in it?

  • No, they wouldn't poke needles in it.

  • Would they, willie?

  • Well, they could.

  • I don't think they would, but they could.

  • And they might.

  • It's exciting, but there's no alternative.

  • We've got to report this!

  • What other choice do we have?

  • Aagh.

  • Ah, can i make a suggestion?

  • Sure, why not?

  • Well, if it's not too much trouble,

  • How about fixing my spaceship?

  • Hello! Read my lips.

  • It talks.

  • It's heavy, it's hairy and it talks.

  • Good. Now how about fixing my spaceship...

  • So i can get my heavy, hairy body out of here?

  • [ Willie ] i'm not sure...

  • I can fix your spaceship.

  • I mean, not tonight, not in the dark.

  • Yeah, you could use a light in that driveway.

  • I've been meaning to put one out there,

  • But you know how it is.

  • You get busy with one thing and another.

  • - Willie! - I'm sorry. It seems so human!

  • Hey, there's no need for name calling.

  • I don't think we should get too friendly, willie.

  • She's right.

  • Let's have a snack now. We'll get friendly later.

  • Snack? What kind of snack?

  • You got a cat?

  • You eat cats?

  • You can't eat lucky.

  • No cat eating. Not in this house.

  • All right, all right. How about a cat-Food can?

  • I could use the roughage.

  • Can we give alf a can, mom?

  • Please?

  • Please?

  • All right.

  • A dented one.

  • C'mon, alf.

  • [ Kate ] we're going with you.

  • That is amazing. Isn't that amazing?

  • Willie, will you come down to earth for a minute?

  • An alien being has come to live with us,

  • And eat our cans and snack on our cat.

  • [ Alf ] yeah, this will do fine.

  • [ Tin can crunching ]

  • All right. Just give me one day, okay?

  • If i can't get alf going,

  • We'll tell somebody. Just one day.

  • [ Sigh ]

  • Okay.

  • Meow!

  • He's quick! I'll give him that.

  • [ Alarm clock buzz ]

  • 'Morning.

  • 'Morning.

  • Ahhhhhhh!

  • Ahhhhhh!

  • Willie!

  • Willie!

  • What's going on out there?

  • Nothing. Just screaming.

  • Move out of the way.

  • No problem.

  • Let me put it this way, willie.

  • I don't think this is going to work out.

  • I'll take care of it.

  • Everything's fine.

  • Everything's under control.

  • Interesting concept.

  • Please, come away from there.

  • Come on! Over here by me.

  • We've a little problem to discuss.

  • You're blind as a bat.

  • Would you give those to me, please.

  • No problem.

  • You must understand that kate is nervous about this.

  • Absolutely.

  • Who's kate?

  • My wife.

  • Oh, yeah. She snores.

  • She doesn't snore.

  • You calling me a liar?

  • You just keep your distance, all right?

  • And try to be considerate.

  • No problem.

  • That is not considerate!

  • That is the opposite of considerate!

  • That is inconsiderate!

  • Look, let's just--

  • Let's just settle down here.

  • Let's just take this one step at a time.

  • There's no need for you to shave.

  • You look fine.

  • I want to do everything you do.

  • You're my idol.

  • I'm going to take a shower now.

  • Count me in.

  • I'd like to take it alone, thank you.

  • Okay. Just don't use all the hot water.

  • Do you mind?

  • Never saw a thing.

  • And stay away from the window.

  • We've got a very nosy neighbor, mrs. Ochmonek.

  • "Ochmonek." Sounds like a typo.

  • Don't let her see you. She might turn you in.

  • Trevor, is there such a thing as a cross...

  • Between a kangaroo and an aardvark?

  • [ Trevor ] ah, stop putting yourself down.

  • I'm not talking about me.

  • I'm talking about that thing...

  • Staring at me from that bathroom window.

  • [ Trevor ] what?

  • I don't see nothing.

  • It was there a second ago.

  • I think it was shaving.

  • Yeah, right, and i'm sean penn.

  • [ Gasp ]

  • Towel.

  • Talking to me?

  • Hand me something to dry off with.

  • You got it.

  • Will this do the trick?

  • No problem.

  • - Alf! - Yeah, how you doing up there, william?

  • Frankly, i could use a little help.

  • I don't know much about this thing.

  • Me either.

  • I turn the key and it goes.

  • I'll get the wrench, dad.

  • Lynn, do you happen to have a phone here? No, why?

  • K-L-V-Z "bonus tune."

  • 15th caller wins a new porsche.

  • Forget it. Must be a licensed driver.

  • I'm a licensed driver.

  • Quick, what's the name of the tune?

  • Wrench, please!

  • "Born in the u.S.A."

  • No wonder i didn't know it.

  • I'll call.

  • Wrench! What's the phone number?

  • Area code, 311-555-98...

  • Wrrr-Ench!

  • 4-5.

  • Sorry, dad.

  • Thank you.

  • Alf, i think you better make contact...

  • With your people.

  • I have tried.

  • I've tried again and again.

  • It's an exercise in futility.

  • Let's face it. I'm trapped here!

  • I'll never see the purple side of my planet again!

  • [ Sobbing ]

  • [ Gasp ]

  • Too dramatic?

  • Would you mind-- I'm out of here.

  • If you need me, i'll be in the house. We won't need you.

  • I'll still be in the house.

  • Yo! Lucky, my man. Meow!

  • [ T.V. ] So, kids, which one is not like the other?

  • Do you get "sesame street" where you live?

  • No, and frankly i don't get it here, either.

  • [ T.V. ] If you said, "it was the cow riding on the subway,"

  • You're absolutely right.

  • Brilliant! This and the letter "i" in one day.

  • I've got to get something to drink.

  • Me, too.

  • Where are you two going?

  • We've got to get something to drink.

  • We're parched.

  • Okay, but...

  • No soda pop, and nothing to eat before dinner.

  • Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

  • Geez, what's with the warden?

  • [ Pop-Top cans opening ]

  • I said, "no soda pop."

  • It's not soda pop. It's beer.

  • [ Burp ] you're about out of coors.

  • What?

  • Give those to me!

  • Hey, careful. His is still full.

  • [ Sigh ]

  • Now you listen to me, alf.

  • I will not allow this behavior in my house.

  • This boy is only 6 years old.

  • He is not to drink beer and you're not to drink beer.

  • I don't know what it's like on mork,

  • Or whatever planet you come from--

  • Melmac.

  • What?

  • Melmac.

  • That was the name of my planet.

  • It's also what it was made out of.

  • What do you mean, "was"?

  • That's the thing, kate. -- Uh, ma'am.

  • Melmac's history.

  • Um, are you trying to tell me...

  • That you can't go back to melmac?