Most of all I'm going to teach you how to trust yourself

self trust can be summed up as the assured reliance on your character, ability, strength and truth

most of us have spent our lives listening to our parents, to our government, to our teachers and to our bosses

We've been raised with the idea that we do not know whats best for ourselves

Instead we're taught that other people who "know more than we do", know whats best for us.

because of this we choose what we think we are supposed to choose

we try to live according to what society says is right, we allow ourselves to be who we are told that we are

and we are caught in an endless struggle of seeking approval and reaching for recognition

The result is that we lose trust in ourselves

the cost of shaping ourselves to fit the desires preferences and expectations of others

is losing ourselves

and when we lose ourselves we become frozen without direction

unable to make our own choices

in my opinion the two most painful states that you can be in, in this particular universe

is the state of self-hate and the state of self-distrust

but the funny thing is, one of them comes from the other

self-hate comes from self-distrust

self hate is the result of you proving to yourself

that you are not on your side

instead of beating around the bush, I'm just going to jump right into the tips

I'm going to give you a handful of tips on how to begin to trust yourself

Tip number 1 is: Develop Self-Confidence

self-trust and self-confidence are like a married couple

they go hand in hand.

when we use the word confidence what we mean is your ability to depend on yourself

If you don't have self confidence you wont feel able to depend on yourself.

when we understand that lack of self-trust goes hand in hand with self-confidence

We can easily see that not trusting ourselves, is a self-worth issue

It's an issue if devaluing and invalidating ourselves.

We don't trust ourselves, we lack self esteem

and we do not perceive our own values.

One of the reasons that we don't trust ourselves is that we do not

accept our own abilities, talents, intentions, and value.

This means that step one is, you have to begin to acknowledge and take not of

your own abilities, your strengths your talents, your virtues

anything that you could see as positive about yourself

is going to enable you to find more trust in yourself

tip number 2 is allow yourself to do what you're good at

and what comes easily to you

we live in a culture that's based around the idea that effort is virtuous

you'll notice that things which you are really passionate about, which you are meant to do, are actually things that you are very good at.

But we keep telling ourselves the lie, that anything worth having is hard won

so we don't allow ourselves to the things that come the most naturally to us

this is a detriment to society because imagine the kind of society we

could have if we could allow ourselves to specialize in what we're good at

and allow other people to specialize in what they're good at.

and now when have the perfect society made of people who specialize at what they are good at

if you continue to do things that you are not good a that you struggle at

that you think you need to or should do you'll continue to feel as if

there's something wrong with you as if you're not good enough

this will decrease your ability to trust yourself, if we always feel as if it is a struggle

to do things we will always feel as if we are behind the pack

so own up to the things which you excel at and focus on designing

your life around those things,

give yourself permission to take pride in them

and give yourself credit for your successes

this step will give a healthy boost to your self confidence

and subsequently your self-trust

if we're doing the things which were really meant to be doing

which really give us joy, and of course we

honest about that

what you'll notice is that they are effortless

even if you have to extend some sort of energy towards them

it wont feel like effort

its not going to feel like struggle. Tip number 3:

let go of your attachment of finding the right answer and instead

find your right answer

those of us who have a decreased self-confidence and a lack of self trust

are obsessed with idea of right and wrong

we have to figure out the right answer

the problem is we cant get anyone to agree

because this life is lived through perspective

and no one person share their perspective exactly with someone else

that means everyone is going to disagree

those of us who don't trust ourselves, fear making the wrong decisions so much

that we procrastinate making any choice.

we trust everyone's opinions except for our own

its important for us to realize that when we're facing

a problem or decision, there is no such thing as one right answer

that we have to somehow find, so we have to gain perspective by

illiciting other people's opinions, but by not weighing them

to make our final decision. instead we need to make our own decision

we can use inquiry to question our current perspective and consciously

choose a perspective which serves our highest good

every single person experiences the world in their own way

so we make decisions about what right based on our own individual assumption, perceptions and

past experiences

and like I said no two perspectives will be the same.

an no one can see the situation from your perspective.

your also never going to be able to have all the information that you would like to have

in order to make your decision

you cant know everything

and so sometimes you have to take a risk by making a choice anyway

you cannot A right answer, all you can find is your right answer

Tip number 4 is: Take risk. even if those risk might result in mistake.

Or what you would call failure

Those of us who don;t; trust ourselves, hate the idea of taking risk.

because we hate the idea of mistakes

because our self worth is so wrapped up in getting everything right

but here's the thing, if you don't take the risk, you've failed already.

I'll tell you a personal story.

Way back when, I was in my sports career, I was a professional skier.

And as usual before races, I would be in the bathroom throwing up.

because I hated the idea of potentially losing.

But one day, I was on the chair lift, on the way up to the start of the racing gate.

and I realized, I've lost 100 percent of the races that I didn't run.

It was a really important epiphany for me. One that people could really benefit by

when they're struggling with self distrust

we like to think that if we don't take risk we don't fail

but the truth is exactly the opposite, if we don't take the risk we've already failed

While it can be scary for us to take risk in life, It's one of the best ways that we can build our capacity for self-trust

Taking risk takes courage and courage makes us feel better about ourselves.

It allows us to see what we're really capable of which in turn helps us to trust ourselves

and don't forget... if you don't take a risk, to see if you can trust yourself, you'll never know that you can

Tip number 5: Take responsibility for your choices and consequences of those choices

Both if they be good, or bad

owning the responsibility for the decisions we make is crucial when were developing trust in ourselves

we need to experience both the process of making a decision

and the process of directly experiencing the results of that decision so that we can learn

if we fall into the trap of denying our part in the decision, or blame others for the decision we made

we end up depriving ourselves of the opportunity to learn

likewise if we escape from the consequence of our decisions we miss the opportunity

for getting the feedback we need to we can make different decisions in the future

this is the same thing as robbing ourselves of an improved life in the future

also you cant blame someone else, without simultaneously acknowledging your powerlessness

when were trying to trust ourselves we have to see ourselves as worthy of trust

we cant see ourselves as weak and trust ourselves at the same time

when you blame someone else, you're recognizing them as the victor and you as the loser

who are you really going to trust?

Someone who is going to let you down?

by blaming someone else, you acknowledge the fact that you can let yourself down,

that you are the one who is powerless

and so instead of it benefiting you in any way, you may have removed the blame from yourself, but you've also acknowledged yourself, as incapable.

Tip number 6: live your life according to a sense of integrity.

If you don't life your life according to Integrity, you cannot develop self trust.

take some time and ask yourself , what does integrity really mean?

You'll find that authenticity and integrity go hand in hand.

What does it mean to be authentic?

lack of integrity can reflect out into the world in big ways such as intentionally sabotaging someone else or stealing from them.

It can also reflect out into the world in small ways such as telling little white lies, gossiping, or not standing up for yourself.

Any lack of integrity, erodes the self concept

identify what it means to you personally, to have integrity.

No one can decide this for you because no two people have the dame values morals or ethics.

Identify the areas in your life where you are not living with integrity.

and then pick three changes you can make right now to restore that integrity.

For example in order to restore integrity you could write an I'm Sorry letter to somebody who you've

been feeling guilty about for quite some time.

You could come out of the closet, and admit that you're gay.

You could repay money that you stole, when you were younger,

the list goes on and on.

Tip number 7: Acknowledge the ways that you do trust yourself.

We when we identify that we don;t trust ourselves,

often feel like that's it's own statement, I don't trust myself, period, the end.

But the reality is we all trust ourselves relative to some things

and we distrust ourselves relative to other things

and when we're trying to develop our self trust

we have to acknowledge the things we do trust ourselves with

when we are looking to develop self trust,

like anything else we are looking to strengthen a vibration

focusing positively toward the ways you already do trust yourself

strengthens the vibration of self trust

So me, for example,