Yes.

I was robbed at the Y m c a again.

What is it exactly that separates man from animal divorce?

Uh, this stuff tools like this blowgun I used to hunt monkeys with the Karoo bow in the Amazon.

My name is Professor June Bauer.

And this semester I will guide you to the very threshold of your humanity where you will lock eyes with the shrieking blood drench sister raping beast from which we sprang.

You will also have to make a diary, Mama.

Everybody close their faces.

All right?

He's got a lot of his mind.

Leave him alone.

I've got it.

My name is Professor Ian Duncan.

I would like to wrap for you.

Drop a beat?

No, no beach.

Oh, my name is Ian Duncan.

And I'm here to say I'm going to rap to the beat in a rapping way.

I've got a really big Peters and I drink lots of people.

No, no, no.

You know what, Duncan?

What?

That's enough.

You have a problem?

I have a problem.

Yes.

Who is it here?

Who has a Dalmatian fetish?

Okay, okay.

Well, that is a its over simplification, and you are suspended Come on.

You're not a teacher anymore.

What's this?

A little of quarters.

Why?

Questions?

Death.

So called is a thing that makes men weep.

And yet the third of life is spent in sleep helping your textbooks to page 37.

Now close them and throw them away.

Throw it away.

Throw it away.

Those of you who are new Motto of this class.

Carpe diem.

Seize the day.

No tests, no papers.

You want in a live in the moment.

Check part.

I'm Professor Slaughter.

Welcome aboard the S s nose candy.

Recently purchased through government auction.

Oh, that's nice.

It's not nice.

It's your only weapon against the raging sea.

You don't know how to use her.

You're dead.

Together you will work.

Is one crew you'll succeed or fail?

Is one crew.

You'll consider this parking lot, the ocean.

Whatever you drop, you lose.

Mishandled the sales capsize that died.

Oh, no, just a little Miss.

Nice.

Have a name surely.

Bennett.

Well, now you're Captain Shirley Bennett.

Oh, man.

You will follow her every order.

Oh, every once in a while, a student will come up to me and asked.

Send your Chang.

Why do you teach Spanish?

They say it just like that.

Why do you teach Spanish?

Why you?

Why not, man?

Why not photography?

Why not martial arts?

I mean, surely it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret, like oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space.

Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish.

It is none of your business, okay?

I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am.

E o I am a Spanish genius and Espanol.

My nickname is El Tigre Chino because my knowledge will bite her face off.

So don't question send your chance or you'll get bit you bit.

Yeah, I bet one man's lies another man's truth.

You could you say, Jeff, I'm sorry.

And who are you?

I'm Professor Professor soon.

Wow.

You really had me going there for a second, Professor.

I thought it was going insane precisely on actual conspiracy to round out your education in conspiracies and theories thereof.

Your riel name is Professor professors.

My family name was Professor Berg, but we changed it when we were fleeing from the Nazis.

I'm so sorry.

You probably never heard of me since I primarily teach night school.

My faculty.

I'd all right.

I guess I've never stuck around late enough to meet you.

Night school professors.

TV's gotten crazy.

Good, you know.

Well, I have to take this.

Thank you for indulging Nadine.

Jeff, Read chapters 10 through 12 of Douglas and see you next week.

That is if I still exist.

Yeah.

See you, Professor.

Don't be shy.

Come on up.

Have a sip.

The Yogi of India.

Swear by its restorative powers.

Okay, more by your own for me Now for your tribe's assignment.

Hello, my precious blueberries.

Oh, all right.

Let's spin those wheels and play with some clay.

Now, there's one and only one rule in this class.

I will tolerate no reenacting whether it's ironic or sincere of the Patrick Swayze Demi Moore pottery scene in Ghost.

Ever since that movie was released in 1990 I have seen every conceivable variation of what I call ghosting.

This could be guy on girl, girl on guy, the hilarious guy on guy.

So since it never stopped, I had to adopt a zero ghost tolerance policy.

If you so much as home three notes from that righteous brothers song.

With God as my witness, I will come at you with everything I've got.

Okay, let's have a great time.

When we stop stopping our lives, can we begin to start starting them?

Mrs.

Edison here, for example, would rather write about what happens to other people, then live.

What is happening to her?

I thought there might be a quiz.

Here's a quiz for you.

Why did the pretty young girl die alone?

Surrounded by sweater wearing cats who are trained to use human toilets?

Get up on your desk.

Come on.

Stand on your desk.

Up on your desk.

She made Uh huh.

Everyone stand on your desks up!

Come on!

Rise!

Rise!

Rise Above the programming!

All your luggage, you were told.

Don't stand on your desk.

Well, why not?

Oh, come on.

She's okay.

Go to the nurse.

Seize the day.

Is this place This Anne is night school, Every student, every teacher, Every class figments lots of hot air from the lips of the ghost in the shadow of a unicorn stream.

I made it up.

Night school doesn't exist.

I used to be a student here at Greendale like you, Jeff.

Then one day I invented a fake course to get a free credit.

To keep up the lie, I had to create a fake teacher who needed other fake classes that needed to be filled with other fake students and so on and so on.

And so on exchange.

Sra, did you just miss pronounced etcetera?

My Latin classes fake Jeff, like all my classes like my life.

Aren't you listening?

Yeah, I am.

And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me.

I feel like someone is trying to teach me something.

Jeff, the only thing that's ever been learned in this room is regret Would that this desk were a time desk so that I could correct my past mistakes way.

It's hilarious.

Guy on guy.

One rule.

I asked you to follow one walk.

I had it made before he died.

It's not in bad taste out, winger.

Fine, that's fine.

That's fine.

Whoa.

Congratulations.

You failed a class so easy that people passing in the hallway contact credit.

Oh, my love, my darling e.

So I'm going to use this to attack you, and you use respect to defend yourself.

I respect you.

That's why you feel passing out.

Women are funny.

Your wife must have a sense of humor.

She's seen you naked.

Uh, I don't like you.

Come back.

Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

Probably Committing a crime would get me to you.

Quick.

This is me and my most invited.

Thank you and good night.