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  • Caw caw!

  • Ooh ah! Ooh! I like it! I like it!

  • The one thing I wanted to be in life with all of my vagina,

  • the one thing I wanted to be was a hoe.

  • Every group of girls has a hoe friend.

  • And if you don't have a hoe friend,

  • that's because you are the hoe friend.

  • A lot of my friends have kids.

  • It's always the basic ones that find love first.

  • They always look at me and they're like

  • London, you need to go out there. Go out.

  • You'll find a single guy in a club.”

  • You got more chance of finding a black girl

  • in a Judd Apatow movie.

  • Think about it.

  • Male comics get treated like gods.

  • You don't have to be good looking.

  • You don't even have to have money,

  • but women will f**k you if you're funny.

  • It does not work the other way around.

  • My dating history looks like a who's who of Uber drivers.

  • I found a rare white guy in the wild.

  • He was a bit kinky. He was a bit freaky.

  • He was a bit weird. Okay.

  • And one day he came in from work and he was like

  • How sexually free are you?”

  • And I was like, "Well here's the thing.

  • I got sacked from a major porn channel,

  • and I sucked d**k for shoes.

  • I'm as sexually free as can be."

  • Have you ever role played?

  • I was like, "No, I'm a black woman.

  • The role I'm playing is hard enough."

Caw caw!

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