I realize how much I overuse it in emails.

I used to add it to almost every sentence.

I feel like I sounded like, "Hi!

My name's Matt! This is an email!

I have some thoughts on the analytics report!

Thanks! I sound like a (bleep) idiot!"

- And yet you love dogs, the exclamation point of animals.

- Listen to this email and tell me

if it sounds okay without exclamation points.

"I've attached the docs you've asked for.

I sent them last week.

I guess they got lost in your inbox.

Anyway, let me know if there's

anything else you need help with, thanks."

- You just use periods?

- [Matt] Yeah.

- Should be fine.

- "I've attached the docs you asked for.

I sent them last week.

I guess they got lost in your inbox." (scoffs)

"Anyway, let me know if there's anything else

you need help with, thanks."

- Did you get Matt's email?

- This is an attack.

- It's assault and battery.

- It's both.

(alarm beeping)

(chill techno music)

(alarm ringing)

(alarm ringing)

Matt, looking dapper today.

Kate, you okay? You look tired.

- Men have been complaining about women's tones ever since

women started working at Hampton DeVille, 1993.

- Have other men complained about my tone?

- A few dozen hundred.

- A few dozen hundred?

Let me see what they said.

- Kate, if I let you read what your male coworkers

have said about you, there is no going back.

(thunder rumbles)

If you pick the blue pen, you'll wake up-

- Just show it to me.

- [Man 1] Her tone was too harsh.

- [Man 2] Feel emasculated.

- [Man 3] It was the way she said it.

- [Man 2] She's taller than me.

- [Man 3] It's like a dagger.

- [Man 4] Knifey, piercing, knife blade.

- Thank you, it's always so cold in this building.

- The temperature in offices is set to accommodate

men in suits who get to keep the hair on their bodies.

But luckily, I've developed ways of adapting.

- It is always shocking to be reminded

how pathetically sensitive the men in this office are.

- That's why I've compiled a list of the best tones

to use for men in the office.

I could teach you, and in exchange,

maybe you could pull some strings

with the guy who controls the AC around here.

- Deal.

- The most popular tone among men in the office

is one I like to call, "Horny Toddler."

(Matt sighs)

- Hey, Matt.

Got your email with the report, thanks so much for sending.

Question, did you CC John on that?

- Uh, yes, I believe I did.

- Oh, that's interesting 'cause I'm looking

at that email right now and you didn't.

- Oh.

- [John] You BCC-ed me.

- Oh, you still got the email, then, right?

- I did.

- Look, I know you're new around here so I just

wanna make sure that you understand the email protocol.

You always CC both John and I on all work emails,

'cause if you BCC him, then I can't check

to make sure that you CC-ed him.

- Got it, I made a mistake.

- Great. Question.

Why did you make that mistake?

- Honestly, I don't know.

I never really saw myself here.

I mean, after college I volunteered

for a program teaching underprivileged kids

because I wanted to help people,

but then one of the students stabbed me and the school

was pretty dirty (children laughing)

and I realized I wasn't cut out for it.

So I moved back in with my parents,

which I'm pretty sure led to them getting a divorce because

- [Father] We don't love each other.

- that's what they told me happened.

(gavel bangs)

Then I worked a series of jobs that eventually

landed me here, where I'm just a cog

in a soulless corporate machine and I'm not-

- Okay, well just make sure that you CC

both John and I on all work emails.

It's a simple mistake, but it's just important

to follow protocol. - Yes.

Thank you, you'll get it back

at the end of the semester. (chuckles)

- Having your phone taken away from you

is like having your civil liberties stripped away.

It's just inhumane.

- Baron?

Baron.

Thank you.

The old back pocket. And the other.

Okay.

Stand up. (clears throat)

I'm sorry I have to do this,

but just wanna have a nice focused meeting.

(scoffs) That's mine.

- My dad's finally responding. (groans)

(man wailing)

- Thank you.

Now, where were we?

Bill, you were saying something.

- Actually, I was gonna say something.

- Yet here I am, saying something.

This reminds me of a time I was a child

and my mother said, "You'll never amount to anything."

And I felt hurt, till I realized

she was talking to my father.

There he stood, with his party dress on. Anyway.

- How long have we been here?

- Without our phones there's no way to measure

the passage of time, could be years, decades, even.

- This country has such a huge problem with-

- Jake, come on.

We're talking to talk about a popular TV show.

Have some respect.

- You know what character Jake would get

if he took the quiz?

- Glenn. (Baron laughs)

- Yes, Jake is such a Glenn.

- Who's Glenn? - You's Glenn.

- You know what? I don't care.

I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.

- Oh no, Glenn!

- I don't know who this Glenn character is but I am not him.

- Glenn! - Bye, Glenn.

Glenn, come back.

- [Paige] I love you, Glenn.

- I love society's work.

- It's like an allegory for the modern world.

- Oh, the cinematography.

- So good.

- I wrote a think piece about it,

so now I know what to think about it.

(Coworker voiceovers overlap)

- Oh, hey, Kate, how are you doing?

- Well, I'm an adult executive

at what appears to be a college party.

- Where's your date?

- I fired him. - Oh, I'm sorry.

- Don't be, I had a Groupon for him anyways.

I'm actually out here hiding from John.

I have never seen a grownup consume so much dairy.

- He has the diet of a five year old with osteopetrosis.

That's ridiculous. (Kate laughs)

- You wanna hit this?

- Kate, you smoke weed?

- Oh, don't be so surprised.

It's the weekend, and I'm a human being.

- Oh shit.

♪ Smoke weed ♪

♪ Get crazy ♪

♪ Get crazy ♪

♪ Smoke weed ♪

(dance music)

- Well, I feel a little better.

- It's slightly more tolerable