Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • I just want to say if you're watching this show right now, man, your priorities are in the wrong place.

  • I'll start by saying that we do have a great show.

  • We're gonna be talking Thio my friend Al Franken this evening, and he will have a great understanding.

  • I think an interesting perspective on what's happening in our country right now.

  • Being joined, of course, is always by my good friend Andy Richter.

  • Handy high.

  • Conan, How are you?

  • Wow, you're really chipper.

  • I'm just smiling through the tension.

  • Okay, well, let me explain.

  • First of all, yes.

  • Uh, I don't care what side of the aisle you're on.

  • I don't care who you voted for.

  • Uh, this is a tense time for everybody right now, and I will be honest with you.

  • We We are taping the show right now.

  • It's almost one o'clock in the afternoon.

  • So it's one o'clock in the afternoon on Wednesday.

  • And so that's where we are at this moment as we're talking, by the time you see this show, a bunch of things will have changed.

  • Probably though not that much, because we're being told it's going to take quite a while.

  • to count ballots in these states.

  • Some states are saying Friday at the earliest, so yeah, yeah, I don't know how they're counting them.

  • I my hats off to all of the the people who are working very hard to count these votes.

  • But it does feel like, um, in 2020 would have some sort of faster method, like a machine that would do this.

  • But better to be able to be right than be fast.

  • That's why I always say or like, you could vote on a computer that goes right into a database, and then they could just tell the numbers by looking at him.

  • You're insane.

  • That's a crazy idea.

  • What do you some kind of magician?

  • I'm sorry I said anything later.

  • Simon, I'm sorry about what Andy just said.

  • That whole idea of entering your vote immediately into a sophisticated database and it's recorded instantaneously.

  • That's just communism, and you should know better anyway, A lot of shows we're going to begin their program tonight by talking about the presidential race and who's got how many electoral votes blah, blah, blah.

  • I'm gonna let them do that because I think it's my job to start the show with what's really important about last night's election.

  • That's right.

  • The people of Oregon have voted to legalize possession of hard drugs.

  • Yes, you heard me, right.

  • You can now legally possessed cocaine, heroin, meth and all sorts of hard drugs in Oregon.

  • Isn't that crazy, Andy?

  • Andy?

  • Now, Andy, No, it's not safe to fly right now because of co vid.

  • Yeah, you're right.

  • It's It's not safe to fly right now.

  • Yeah, OK, well, anyway, as I said in Oregon, you can now legally get hard drugs.

  • And Andy, Andy, Andy trains air Justus unsafe assed planes right now.

  • Yeah, Coney.

  • You're right.

  • Trains aren't safe.

  • But I did meet a guy, okay?

  • Anyhoo, really, we're just running footage in reverse.

  • That's our take on the politics of today at this historic moment.

  • Trains and planes running and rivers.

  • All right.

  • Hey, look, if you came to us for the sharp political take, it's your fault.

  • Hey, I do want to mention this Speak.

  • They know who we are.

  • We've let you know who we were for 27 years.

  • And if you voted for us tonight, it's your fault.

I just want to say if you're watching this show right now, man, your priorities are in the wrong place.

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 andy andy oregon voted database legally safe

Conan & Andy's Election Night Takeaways - CONAN on TBS

  • 1 1
    林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/16
Video vocabulary