Welcome to Story Time.

Today, I'm gonna tell you the story of

the Sword In The Stone and...

Orange!

- Hm?

- You paying attention?

- Oh, yeah.

Stone In The Sword, got it.

- It's the Sword In The Stone!

I'd expect my cohost to pay attention

a little better than this.

- How could I pay attention when there's a sunset outside?

Like, how often does that even happen?

- It happens everyday!

- Oh, right. (laughing)

- Now then, I'm gonna begin the story.

You ready? - Yep!

- You gonna pay attention? - Mm hmm.

- The entire time? - Wow!

If you look right at it, your eyeballs start to hurt.

- (groans) Well, the show must go on.

Once upon a time, long, long ago,

the king of England died with no heir.

- That makes sense.

If you don't have air, you're definitely gonna die.

- Not that kind of air, Orange!

I'm talking about children.

He had no one to take his throne.

- [Orange] Hey, you don't need kids for that.

I know a couple guys.

They'll move any furniture you got at rock bottom prices.

- Moving on! - [Orange] That's the name

of their company.

You've heard of 'em?

- [Pear] (groans) - [Orange] (laughs)

- [Pear] Anyway, shortly after the king passed away,

a sword magically appeared in the middle of London.

It was stuck into an anvil and it had an inscription.

- [Orange] Oh, let me see if I can read it.

"Whofo pulleth out the fword in the ftone--"

- [Pear] Those are S's dude.

That's how they wrote them back then.

- Those are S's?

What the F?

(laughing) - (groans)

Point is, whoever pulled the sword out of the anvil got

to be king.

But no one, no matter how big and strong they were,

could even get it to budge.

- [Orange] Until one day, "Macho Man" Randy Savage arrived

and-- - No!

There are no WWF superstars in this story!

- Silly Pear!

In old timey England, it's WWS.

- Stop!

Now then, one day, a scrawny lad named Arthur was preparing

to become a squire to his huge, buff brother named--

- [Orange] "Macho Man" Randy Savage!

- [Pear] Fine!

Arthur's buff brother was Macho Man.

What's important is that Arthur chased one

of his brother's arrows into the woods

and met a wizard named-- - [Orange] Hulk Hogan!

- I'm no different than I was before, man.

- (groans) Orange, will you pay attention to the story

if it's filled with WWF superstars?

- As a matter of fact, it's the only way I'll pay attention.

- Whatever!

Hulk Hogan proceeded to teach Arthur a bunch of lessons

about life. - [Orange] Like how to do

a pile driver. - [Pear] Sure, why not?

Anyway, since for years and years,

no one could pull the sword out of the stone,

they decided to crown whatever knight won

The Great Tournament.

Arthur's brother entered,

but on the day of The Great Tournament,

Arthur, his squire, accidentally forgot to bring his sword.

- Wuh oh!

You do not wanna get on "Macho Man" Randy Savage's bad side.

- Exactly!

So, in a panic, Arthur ran around town searching for

any sword he could find.

Finally, he spotted one and grabbed it.

And wouldn't you know it?

It happened to be the sword in the stone.

Arthur, of all people, was the first and only person

to pull the sword out.

- [Orange] He was crowned king of England

and wore the WWF championship belt with honor

for the rest of his days.

The end.

(laughs) - [Pear] (groans)

(upbeat music)