(CHOIR SINGING)

(METALLIC CLATTERING)

(FLICKING SWITCH)

(RATTLING)

(WHITE NOISE ON TV)

(AMPLIFYING)

(SIGHING)

(MUSIC ON TV)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

(MUSIC RESUMES)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

MAN ON TV: Hold it a minute!

Well, I feel left out now...

(GUNFIRE ON TV)

It's an ambush!

(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

(GUNFIRE RESUMES)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

(GUNFIRE RESUMES)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

(GUNFIRE RESUMES)

(TENSE MUSIC ON TV)

MAN 1 ON TV: It's here, all right! Bigger than a horse!

MAN 2: You take care of that, all right.

(GUNFIRE ON TV)

(WHITE NOISE RESUMES)

(MUSIC RESUMES ON TV)

MAN ON TV: There she is. Pretty as a picture.

(RATTLING)

-Excuse me, could you... -Sure.

If you'd be so kind. Just press the red button.

Okay.

-Move back. -The red one.

Right.

Right up to the women.

Good. Okay.

Now, just try one more and turn around.

Actually face them, yeah. Right the way around and face the women.

Camera thief!

(GROANING)

Let me out of here!

Let go!

(THIEF EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

My camera was stolen!

-Where abouts? -Over there.

In your own time, sir. No rush.

(INDISTINCT)

Oh!

Ow!

Ow!

Oh!

Ow!

(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

(CHOIR SINGING)

Yes? Can I help you, sir?

-Can I have this, please? -Certainly, sir.

-There you are, sir, size nine. -No, but I only want the one.

No, no, they come as two.

-One. -I have to sell them as two shoes.

Thank you.

(CAMERA POPPING)

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)

Oh. I'm sorry I'm late, I got...

(TINKLING)

Now, please, can I have one volunteer

-from the audience? -Oh!

Ah, we have a gentleman over here. Please, come here.

I wanted the waitress. The waitress...

Give that back.

(SMASHING)

I'm looking for my watch. It fell down here...

In here?

Where is...

Excuse me, I'm looking for my...

(MOUTHING)

MAN: Get off!

(AUDIENCE BOOING)

(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you think you could you change it into something a bit more...

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

COMMENTATOR ON TV: England off to an attacking start

in the second half, finding it very tough...

...pushing, pushing. Here's...

(CHOIR SINGING)

COMMENTATOR: ...his energy, his enthusiasm...

Oh, I don't believe it.