in the aquarium at a Bass Pro Shops.

Employees said they would have gotten him out

if there were only some fishing gear nearby.

[ Laughter ]

-Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, come on, James, Jimmy.

-Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ]

Michael Che! -Jimmy.

-Michael Che is here! [ Cheers and applause ]

What?!

-Jimmy, Jim, Jamantha.

[ Laughter ]

A guy swimming in a Bass Pro Shops aquarium,

and that's the best you can do?

-What, you think you can do better?

-You're damn right we can. -Oh, oh, my gosh!

Colin Jost! [ Cheers and applause ]

Colin Jost? You too?

Well, you know what this means.

It's time for a good old-fashioned

"Tonight Show" jokeoff!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Alright, I think we all know the rules,

but I'll repeat the setup.

Police in Louisiana arrested a man after he went swimming

in the aquarium at a Bass Pro Shops.

And go!

-Beep-beep-beep. [ Laughter ]

Weirdly, he was charged with being too sober

for a guy at a Bass Pro Shops.

[ Laughter ]

-[ Trills tongue ]

Even worse, he wore his face mask as a banana hammock.

[ Laughter ]

-[ Mimics buzzer ] The guy wasn't in jail very long.

It was more of a catch and release.

[ Laughter ]

-Boop, beep, boop. [ Laughter ]

So, move over, "Up."

"Bass Pro Shops Aquarium" is now the saddest Pixar film.

[ Laughter ]

-[ Trills tongue ] Meanwhile Sea World was like,

"For 50 bucks, you can do whatever."

[ Laughter ]

-Bahm! They were able to catch him by baiting the hook

with a little bit more crack.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

-Alright, it is time for round two.

Here's the next story.

A 94-year-old Virginia man received permission

from Wrigley's to be buried in a casket

shaped like a giant pack of Juicy Fruit.

Go! -Beep.

The man plans to be buried on

the underside of a middle school desk.

[ Laughter ]

-Bahm! Permission? What are they gonna do, kill him?

[ Laughter ]

-[ Trills tongue ]

At first the man's family loved the idea,

but then quickly realized it was tasteless.

[ Laughter ]

-Beep and beep.

Right now there's a carpenter taking measurements

with a roll of Bubble Tape.

[ Laughter ]

-Beep!

So in 1,000 years, archaeologists will still wonder

what the hell is the fruit flavor is supposed to be?

[ Laughter ]

-Beep!

And here to read the eulogy off a giant wrapper is Bazooka Joe.

[ Dinging ]

♪♪

Alright, final round.

Here's the last story.

After 43 years, Chuck E. Cheese announced

they've filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Go! -Beep!

So -- [ Laughs ]

I started with way too much beep.

[ Laughter ]

-You came in hot, man. -Alright, I'll back it off.

-Came in hot with the beeps. -So.

-No, it doesn't say "so." [ Laughter ]

-Sorry. Beep! -Yes.

[ Laughter ]

-Wow, so there might be some flaws in the business model

of a rat who sells pizza to children.

[ Laughter and applause ]

-So. [ Laughter ]

Okay, but before you close,

I think my kid is still in your ball pit somewhere.

[ Laughter ] Sorry.

-Whahm! Which I think means that in 2024,

Chuck E. Cheese will be President of the United States.

[ Dinging ] -Ah, there you go right there!

That was "Jokeoff!"

[ Cheers and applause ]

Give it up for Colin Jost, Michael Che, everybody!