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  • (director) Here we go.

  • Three..two--

  • For the past eighteen years

  • Your life's been pretty smooth

  • Let's take a moment and reflect

  • On all you've had to do

  • You've rolled out of bed

  • And strolled to the living room

  • And watched Cartoon Network

  • While your mom made waffles for you

  • Your laundry was magically clean

  • And your dad's back pocket

  • Was an ATM machine

  • Your life's biggest worry

  • was what to wear to the prom

  • And your only regret was that incident

  • With the stink bomb

  • Do you hear that subtle sound? ♪

  • That's the sound of reality

  • About to slap the taste out your mouth

  • Now you're on your own

  • You should be scared

  • But we can tell

  • You don't care

  • Why don't you care?

  • You should be frightened.

  • You're young and now you're free

  • The world is your oyster

  • We have no clue what that means

  • But let us paint a picture of your future

  • You're gonna eat a lot of Hot Pockets

  • And you're thinkin' that sounds great

  • Well get back to us in six months

  • When you've had

  • Three hundred and seventy-eight

  • As soon as you move out

  • You know what your parents are gonna do

  • They're gonna turn your bedroom

  • Into an exercise room

  • That they never use

  • And you won't use lockers in college

  • And this might be a total bummer

  • There are no yearbooks either

  • You'll actually have to say

  • ♪ "Have a great summer" ♪

  • Do you feel that gentle breeze? ♪

  • It's the category five hurricane of adulthood

  • About to hit you upside the head with a tree

  • Now you're on your own

  • Don't screw this up

  • You're on your own

  • Good luck

  • You're gonna need it.

(director) Here we go.

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