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  • Happy TLC Thursday! My name is Christal Fuentes,

  • and I am your Host and Coach for today.

  • So as you may know, we lost a legend not too long ago. April 21st was definitely a

  • sad day for not just the music world, but for many. What Prince left us goes beyond

  • just music, even though music happens to be everything.

  • Prince gave people permission to be who and what they wanted to be.

  • To live authentically even if people don't understand you, and authenticity is what

  • I want to talk about in today's video. Could being too nice get in the way of

  • living an authentic life? Right after Prince's death, I was reading

  • one of the many beautiful tribute articles about him and one was written

  • by someone who had worked at an ice cream shop, and served him a milkshake

  • years ago. But what this person said about Prince is something I know we can

  • all learn from. The article said that Prince was nice but not too nice.

  • What does that mean? That means he didn't overdo it.

  • His niceness came from the most genuine part of himself. He didn't have to fluff up

  • his personality because he wanted to appear a certain way. Why does this

  • matter, and why does this have anything to do with authenticity? Because how many

  • times have we been overly nice that it felt inauthentic, and why did we do it?

  • I've discussed this before and I'm starting to see a solid trend with my

  • dear ladies. Actually it's less of a trend, and more of a disease. Yeah it's

  • exactly a disease. The disease to please. Every time I bring this topic up, I can't

  • tell you how many ladies relate to it. So I'll just continue bringing it up until

  • we start making some major shifts. The disease to please is really the disease

  • to be liked. Because the only reason we please is to be liked. We don't feel good

  • enough within ourselves, that we overextend our energy and our courtesy,

  • in hopes people will see our value. Before we go any further, I think it's

  • time for our WTSD.

  • Being liked is the lowest standard possible, because it makes our happiness

  • dependent on how others reciprocate. And let's be real how many times have you

  • been let down by someone you overextended yourself to? A shit-ton

  • right?! Yes, because you overextend yourself in hopes to see a return, which

  • is super inauthentic. It's so easy to say we're being real, but how real can we be

  • if we're doing things for attention, approval or respect? Not real at all, right?

  • Now this doesn't mean we should walk around screaming F*&K you to everyone,

  • in order to be real, but I do believe there is such a thing as being too nice. So

  • I'm going to give you three ways of being nice, but not too nice.

  • Number One: Prioritize people in your life. I've said this before it's not rude, it's necessary.

  • Not everyone needs your energy, especially if the important people in

  • your life starting with you, aren't getting your needed attention. When you

  • don't value yourself and your own time, then you will continue seeking the

  • approval of others. Number Two: Breathe into the awkward moments. How many times

  • have we filled in the gaps of uncomfortable silences, with pleasing

  • feel oh. It's just I was trying it was creeping up, and I was I was trying.

  • How many times have we filled in the gaps of uncomfortable silences, with pleasing

  • filters? Stop that shit! Next time you come across an awkward moment, breathe

  • into them and remember that you are fully whole and deserving of love how

  • you are. No need to bring out the theatrics of feeling deserving. Allow

  • yourself to be seen. Number Three: Make peace with being alone.

  • No I'm not telling you to isolate yourself from reality, but the more we

  • are able to be alone with ourselves and find peace, the more certain we will

  • become of who we are and what we have to offer. Only then will we stop doing

  • things to fill a void within. Why? Because there won't be one.

  • Before I end this video, I'd like to end with my favorite quote by the legend himself.

  • "Cool means being able to hang with yourself. All you have to ask

  • yourself is, is there anybody I'm afraid of? Is there anybody who if I walked into

  • a room and saw, I'd get nervous? If not you're cool." And that my friends is how

  • to stay nice, but not too nice. Was there something you took away from this video?

  • Or do you have more tips I didn't mention, and you think would help your fellow ladies?

  • Comment below, and make sure you join the discussion. Also be sure to

  • check us out at the TheLadiesCoach.com, and subscribe to our Channel.

  • Til next time. Muah!

Happy TLC Thursday! My name is Christal Fuentes,

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A2 US prince disease deserving authenticity pleasing approval

How to Be Nice but Not TOO Nice

  • 62 1
    yamaoto posted on 2020/09/18
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