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  • How are you, did you have a good weekend?

  • Yeah, I did. Everything's good?

  • Mm-hmm. Life is fine?

  • Very good.

  • 'Cause I've been hard at work, you know?

  • [Andy] Oh, that's right.

  • (laughs) You don't care at all.

  • I mean-- This is true.

  • You know, a lot of people, I'm constantly thinking of ways

  • to make the show more exciting and dynamic

  • in whatever way I can before we give up completely

  • and get into the auto business.

  • [Andy] Mm-hmm.

  • And anyway, what I thought I'd do

  • is the big thing today are psychics.

  • Psychics are the big thing.

  • You know, there's the psychic hotline, psychic friends.

  • Everyone's talking about psychics.

  • Psychics make up half the guests on the daytime talk shows.

  • [Andy] It's true.

  • And so I thought, let's do something with psychics

  • on this show, so ladies and gentlemen, I went out

  • into New York City and I actually talked

  • to all of the most prominent psychics

  • that we could find in the Yellow Pages

  • to try and find out anything we could just about,

  • are these people legit? Yeah.

  • How's the show gonna be doing in the future?

  • What's gonna happen?

  • And we found out some pretty impressive stuff.

  • So ladies and gentlemen, enjoy my visit

  • with the psychics of New York City.

  • Okay, I'm sitting here right now

  • with Astounding Velma, is that correct?

  • Velma, V-E-L-M-A, Velma.

  • V-E, Velma. You got it.

  • And it's astounding. I'm very astounding.

  • Hmm. I always have been.

  • And you are a palmist, is that right?

  • I'm a palmist, I do magic, I do palmistry,

  • and I do a mind reading act

  • which we call transmission of thoughts.

  • Hmm, so this is the human hand right here.

  • Yeah, now, these lines actually,

  • this one happens to be the line of heart,

  • the line of emotions.

  • [Conan] This is the heart line right here.

  • Uh-huh, this is the line of head, intelligence.

  • This is the line of success.

  • This is the line of life, but there are many other aspects.

  • This is the line of-- You got it.

  • Tic-tac-toe. No.

  • I'll go first, then you. (audience laughing)

  • Here we go, wait a minute, what about here?

  • Oh, interesting, and then I'll go here.

  • And I'll go-- (screams) No!

  • [Psychic] A light-haired female will come into your life

  • that you'll care about.

  • [Conan] Hmm, that would be Uma Thurman, wouldn't it?

  • I don't know who that is.

  • Hmm, I'll take what you said as meaning Uma Thurman.

  • Do you know if she's born in a summer month?

  • I don't know, she won't return my calls.

  • Okay, let's get into it.

  • Would you tell me your birthday?

  • April 18th, 4/18/63.

  • [Psychic] Your minor number is a one

  • which means you're a leader, not a follower.

  • [Conan] Yes, I'm a leader.

  • That's right, you are, but your major number

  • is a five and five is the number of communications.

  • [Conan] May I ask you what year you were born in?

  • 1930. You were born in 1930.

  • Let me show you something right here.

  • All right. Okay, 1930, all right?

  • Okay. Now, you said eight

  • is the number of power-- Power, money.

  • Okay, eight goes into 19 how many times?

  • It goes in two, right?

  • Two you said was the number for growth.

  • Action. Action, all right.

  • Yeah. How many ones are there

  • in two? Two.

  • [Conan] That's two, but there are two what's in two?

  • Two ones, that gives us a one. (audience laughing)

  • I mean, one is your number, right?

  • Yeah. The loneliest number.

  • (audience laughing) That's really different.

  • I noticed something about your hand

  • which is very interesting.

  • Yeah, I'm putting Vaseline on it, it's clearing up.

  • No, this is-- Oh, this.

  • [Velma] This is the Mount of Venus.

  • [Conan] What does that mean?

  • The mount of love, sympathy,

  • passion, virility, and sensuality.

  • I like to call it love. That's what it is.

  • Yeah, mm. (growls seductively)

  • Oh. (audience laughing)

  • Should we go on?

  • Mm, keep doing that.

  • You like that, and notice it's getting higher and higher.

  • It's getting bigger and bigger.

  • (audience laughing)

  • How crass, oh Velma.

  • How does this work?

  • Do I-- You drink.

  • I never, you drink the tea? Mm-hmm.

  • Then how do you read the tea leaves?

  • 'Cause the tea leaves will stay at the bottom.

  • I'll show you.

  • Oh, so I gotta drink the whole cup of tea first

  • before we can even get started.

  • Yeah. Mm.

  • Would you like some candies with it?

  • You must enjoy it and also concentrate.

  • I don't enjoy anything.

  • I was raised Irish-Catholic, I'm very uptight.

  • What I see, with the next three years mostly

  • is a lot of parties and happy occasions,

  • that people are there and it's wild.

  • Parties, I'm at parties?

  • Is James Caan there?

  • I don't see James Caan there.

  • [Conan] Okay, now your name is.

  • Bahar. Babar?

  • Oh please, Bahar. Bahar, I'm sorry.

  • I didn't know, I swear, I didn't--

  • Do I look like an elephant? (audience laughing)

  • That's interesting, there are holy, magical cards

  • but you shuffle them just like it's a cheap game of poker.

  • You will be will living-- (screams) Skull!

  • Look at that! (screams)

  • Look at that, what does that mean?

  • It's, that's, I don't know much about tarot cards,

  • but you can't tell me one with a big skull on it is good.

  • That's gotta be a bad card. No, it's a very good card.

  • Really?

  • [Bahar] Especially with medical students.

  • You and your confounded jokes.

  • So did you say I was gonna be in a car accident, no?

  • I said be careful not to be. Well, thank you.

  • (audience laughing) Gee, great, that's worth

  • whatever you're asking.

  • What is all this stuff right here?

  • My home is my palace in reality.

  • Does Major Healey know that you have this?

  • I would think he'd be kind of upset, Jeannie!

  • This is my Aladdin's lamp.

  • And in one of my magic acts when I rub the lamp it did,

  • the Aladdin came out. Wow, look at this.

  • It's got a toggle switch.

  • [Velma] Oh, now you're giving away the secrets!

  • This is the early '60s version of it.

  • Look at that right there.

  • And we noticed when I came in here

  • there's a secret compartment here.

  • That's a secret--

  • Where does this lead right now?

  • [Velma] Don't open it, don't open it.

  • [Conan] Where does it go, why, is there someone in here?

  • [Velma] Oh gosh, don't open it!

  • (psychedelic music)

  • (screaming) (audience laughing)

  • I want to look into the ball now

  • because I want you to tell me the biggest thing in my life

  • is my TV show. Yes.

  • It means everything to me. Yes.

  • And for a TV show to be successful

  • you have to get good guests. Yes.

  • And I want you to look into the ball right now

  • and I want you to tell me, what's the biggest guest

  • that I can expect to come on my show in the next month?

  • Conan, I'll be appearing. (laughs)

  • We'll have fun, fun, fun. (audience applauding)

  • All right, well that was a lot of fun,

  • but I think we found out once and for all

  • that those fortune tellers are way off base,

  • didn't we, Andy? Yes, definitely.

  • (screaming) (audience applauding)

  • [Conan] (laughs) It's Abe Vigoda, thanks, Abe!

How are you, did you have a good weekend?

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